Losing Track Of Your Mind

| Illinois, USA | Uncategorized

Caller: “I cannot find my order number or my order. I need the tracking information.”

Me: “Okay. Can I please have your login name so that I can look up your order history?”

(The caller gives their login name and I look up their order history.)

Me: “Ma’am, so that I know we are looking at the same page, can you please tell me what you see?”

Caller: “I see Order Number. I did this already!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am. That number is your order number.”

Caller: “Oh, okay. It said Order Number, but I wasn’t sure that’s what it meant.”

Me: “Okay, so let’s track your package. I see that the package has been delivered on the 5th, which was 20 days ago.”

Caller: “Oh? Who signed for it?”

Me: “The initials say **.”

Caller: “Oh, so it was me! I just can’t seem to find that package around here. Could your computer tell me where I put it?”

Here Today, Gone To Maui

| Chicago, IL, USA | Geography

Me: “Hello and thank you for calling [travel agency]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, I need to get to Hawaii by Saturday.”

Me: “Okay, let me just see what flights are available.”

Caller: “Flights? As in flying? No way! I am terrified of flying! Can you look up some train tickets for me?”

Me: “Ma’am, Hawaii is in the middle of Pacific Ocean. There is no train service to Hawaii.”

Caller: “What? Hawaii is part of the United States, isn’t it?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. It is.”

Caller: “Then how can it be in the middle of the Ocean? Fine then, what about taking a boat?”

Me: ”Ma’am, there are cruise services to Hawaii, but I can assure you that the only way you are going to get to Hawaii by Saturday is by flying.”

Caller: “Well, what about those speed boats that drug users use from Cuba?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, those boats don’t have the ability to cross the ocean, and Cuba is only 90 miles from the United States.”

Caller: “90 miles? Sonny boy, Cuba is out in the middle of the ocean. Haven’t you ever looked at a map?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Caller: “Forget it, I’ll just call another travel agency that knows their history.”

Me: “Do you mean geography?”

Caller: *click*

No Charge For This Call

| Manhattan, KS, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling Business Care. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yea, hi. Just a quick question…y phone is about to die. Is there a way you guys can, like, charge my phone on your guys’ end?”

Me: “Uh, no it needs to be plugged in.”

Caller: “Oh darn, thought there was a way…are you sure?”

Me: “I’m pretty sure.”

Caller: “Couldn’t you at least try?”

In Search Of Common Law And Common Sense

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “This is [law firm], how can I help you?”

Customer: “Are you located on the fifth floor?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Well, I am on the fifth floor and there are no offices here.”

Me: “There are three law firms on the fifth floor, ma’am. We are the one all the way to the right of the elevator.”

Customer: “No, there are no offices on this floor. It’s totally open. And, its hot.”

Me: “Hot?”

Customer: “Yeah, its hot. I think you gave me the wrong address.”

(Verifies address, customer has the correct address.)

Customer: “Well, its just an open floor. I got out of my car up here and there’s no office.”

Me: “Are you… are you on the fifth floor of the parking garage?”

(My office window looks out at the roof (fifth) level of the parking garage. Sure enough there is a women on her cell phone pacing around the roof level of the parking garage.)

Customer: “You told me to go to the fifth floor.”

Me: “Of the office building, ma’am, not of the parking garage.”

Unaware Of My Space

| Waterloo, Canada | Uncategorized

(It is a few minutes after closing time and we lock the door. Moments later I hear the sound of breaking glass. I rush over and see a woman on the ground surrounded by glass. She had tried to walk through the door and broke it.)

Me: “Miss, are you alright?! Are you hurt anywhere?”

Customer: “No! No…I think I’m fine.”

Me: “Miss, let me show you somewhere to sit while we wait for security and the ambulance.”

Customer: “No! I don’t have time d*** it! I have to go write this in my blog!” *runs off*

Page 1,833/2,467First...1,8311,8321,8331,8341,835...Last