Best To Avoid The Void

| Newcastle, Australia | Uncategorized

(I can’t cancel sales. If customer doesn’t want an item, I must void it and it still appears on the next receipt with the deletion below. This conversation takes place after I voided a $30 CD player and another customer comes through.)

Customer: “The previous lady’s CD player is still on my receipt. I don’t want to pay for it!”

Me: “Sorry madam, but if you look just below the CD player It says ‘Void CD Player’ and there is a -$30 next to it meaning the money has already come off your total.”

Customer: *agitated* “I’m not very good at maths, but that doesn’t sound right. I don’t believe you.”

Me: “The total of your items was only $16.50. If you had to also pay for the CD player, it would have been $46.50. You only gave me $20.”

Customer: “I’m don’t believe you. If I figure out how you tricked me I’ll be back!”

The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 2

| Ocean County, NJ, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “Who’s that chick who wrote Twilight?”

Me: “That would be Stephanie Meyer.”

Customer: “And what’s the fourth one?”

Me:Breaking Dawn.”

Customer: “And that’s still whoever Meyer?”

Me: “She wrote the whole series, ma’am.”

(The customer heads to the DVD rack. I see her looking roughly in the ‘B’ section.)

Customer: *yelling* “I don’t see it!”

Me: “Ma’am, Breaking Dawn is a book. The movie hasn’t been released yet.”

Customer: “Those were books?”

Related:
The Twilight Of Our Literacy

Doesn’t Take A Genus

| Orlando, FL, USA | Uncategorized

(A father and his young daughter were at a popular theme park looking at the manatees.)

Daughter: “What animals are these?”

Father: “I don’t know honey, I think it’s a woolly mammoth.”

Me: “Sir, those are manatees.”

Father: *shrugs* “Well, I was close!”

Caller I-D’oh

| Waukesha, WI, USA | Uncategorized

(I am calling customers to remind them to pick up their ready orders.)

Girl: “Ooh… Mmm… Ahh…”

(A fumbling sound can be heard as more moaning and gasping.)

Me: “Ah. Yes, this is [my name] calling from [Opticians] and I just wanted to speak with [client’s name] however, if this is a bad time–”

Girl: “Mmm… Hold on.”

(I hear the sound of the phone being handed over to another person.)

Man: “Ooh… Mmm… Ahh… Just kidding, mom. What’s up? I thought
you were at the spa today.”

Me: “Actually I’m not your mom. This is actually just [my name] calling from [Opticians] to let you know your order’s been ready for quite some time to pickup.”

Man: “Oh, t-thanks.”

Me: “Yep, that’s no problem. Have a good day.”

Don’t Kid Around About Sex And Violence

| Huntsville, AL, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Can I help you find something?”

Customer: “I was in the airport and saw this book it was blue and said something about a ranger. It looked really good, so I was trying to find it here.”

Me: “Sounds like The Rangers Apprentice series. It’s a kids’ book.”

Customer: “No, it couldn’t be a kids’ book. It looked really interesting.”

(Several minutes ensue of trying to find anything else that it could be. I ask him to wait a moment while I check the kids’ section and get the newest Rangers apprentice book and return.)

Me: “Is this it?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “That’s the book I was telling you about. It’s technically a kids’ series, but it’s still a good book–just without the sex and violence.”

Customer: “None at all? But that’s why I read them!”

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