Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Clawing Back Faith In Humanity
    (1,757 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: I Don't Work Here!
    Submit your story today!

    Actually, He’s Only Friends With Dorothy

    | Ft. Worth, TX, USA |

    (While making a drink for my table, I overhear a woman approach my manager.)

    Customer: “You’re the manager, right?”

    Manager: “Yeah, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “One of your employees just said a very dirty word as that table over there!”

    Manager: “I’m terribly sorry, ma’am. What did they say?”

    Customer: *lowers her voice* “The “p” word.”

    Manager: “I’m very sorry. Who said it, now?”

    (The customer then points to an openly gay male employee, the store’s
    trainer.)

    Customer: “Him, right there. He was going on about his girlfriend’s hot… you know!”

    Manager: “Did he say ‘eww’ afterwards?”

    Rescued From A Life Of Deliciousness

    | Bristol, UK |

    Customer: “I want some of these coffee beans, but I want them as a powder.”

    Me: “Yes, we can grind them here for you if you like.”

    Customer: “But will it hurt the beans?”

    Me: “Well, it won’t affect the beans in any way – it will still be the same coffee, if that’s what you mean?”

    Customer: “No, I mean will it HURT the beans?”

    Me: “…well, they’re coffee beans, so I don’t think they can actually feel any pain…”

    Customer: “But you aren’t 100% sure on that…I think I’ll leave it, then.”

    Ironically, He Works With Balls…

    | Sparks, NV, USA |

    Customer: “I’m going to be pitching for my softball team, and I need a cup and jockstrap.”

    Me: “Sure thing, they’re right over here.”

    Customer: “How do you know what size to get?”

    Me: “The jockstraps are measured by waistband size. All the cups are the same size.”

    Customer: “Those cups are all huge! There’s no way I can fill one of those up!”

    Me: “…”

    Back To Basics Is Best

    | San Antonio, TX, USA |

    Customer: “I need something to make a nail go into a piece of wood…you know, to make it stay where I’m putting it.”

    Me: “…a hammer, sir?”

    Customer: “Oh, is that what you would recommend?”

    Me: “Uh…yeah.”

    Customer: “Great, show me where they are!”

    Either Way, Someone’s Wearing Diapers

    | Savannah, GA, USA | Top

    (I’m selling movie theater tickets to a couple that’s obviously in their 30s or 40s.)

    Me: “So for two adults, the total is $19.”

    Male customer: “Can’t we get a discount? She’s a senior! How old do you have to be to be a senior?”

    Me: “She has to be 60 to be a senior.”

    Male customer: “She’s 59 and a half! Can we get a discount?”

    (It’s a slow day, so I oblige.)

    Me: “Well… alright, how about $16.50?”

    Male customer: “Awesome, you’re the best! So you gave her the senior ticket, right?”

    Me: “No, sir, I gave you a child.”

    Female customer: *laughs* “Thank you, you’ve definitely got him figured out!”

    Page 1,828/2,186First...1,8261,8271,8281,8291,830...Last