Gotta Try It Sooner Or Latte

| Tukwila, WA, USA | Uncategorized

(We serve a limited number of coffee drinks made automatically by machine.)

Customer: “I’d like a hazelnut latte, please.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t have other flavors. I can give you a regular latte.”

Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “Just a regular latte.”

Customer: “What does it taste like?”

Me: “It’s just coffee and milk.”

Customer: “Oh. I’ve never tried that! Maybe I should.”

Crashed Diet

| New York, NY, USA | Top

(A well-dressed woman and her teenage daughter are out to lunch at one of my tables. I have already brought them their drinks.)

Customer: *waving me over* “Miss! I asked for a diet soda.”

Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry. I must have picked up another server’s order by mistake. Let me get you a new one.”

(I fill a diet soda myself and deliver it. Before even tasting it, she speaks up.)

Customer: “No! This isn’t diet soda! I’m on a very strict diet and I can’t have carbs!”

Me: “I filled it myself. I assure you that it is diet.”

Customer: *poking the drink with a straw* “Then what are these? I can see the carbs everywhere!”

Me: “You can see the carbs, Ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes! Are you blind? Can’t you see the bubbles?”

Customer’s teenage daughter: “Oh my God, mom! ‘Carbs’ mean carbohydrates, not carbonation!”

A Touching Gift

| Maryland, USA | Top

Me: “Hi, can I help you find something?”

Customer: “I touch my granddaughter.”

*awkward silence*

Customer: *turning bright red* “I mean, I want an iTouch for my granddaughter!”

Loyalty Ist Verboten!

| Ontario, Canada | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

Customer: *in thick German accent* “I am great.”

Me: “Perfect! You’re total will be $****. Do you have a [Gas Station] Points Card?”

Customer: “No! I am German! I have everything I need!”

Bad Company, Good Business

| Detroit, MI, USA | Uncategorized

(I’m a cashier, and a customer comes up to my register with a lock.)

Customer: “Do you guys do price matching?”

Me: “Yes, we do!”

Customer: “Great. I’ll take it at the [medical supply store] price.”

Me: “Alright, I’ll just need the print out.”

Customer: “The what?”

Me: “Well, I need proof that the other store has the same product for a lesser amount.”

Customer: “Don’t you know what they sell it at?”

Me: “Actually, I don’t believe they sell this at all.”

Customer: “Well, just find a store that sells it at a lesser price and give me that!”

Me: “Sir, I can’t do that. Unless you found the same item for a lesser price at another store, I have to charge you what our company sells it at.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Because that’s business, sir.”

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