October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Modern Technology Can Pass By In A Blur

| Michigan, USA | Movies & TV, Uncategorized

Customer: “I had a question about this one movie.”

Me: “Okay, what’s up?”

Customer: “How blurry is it?”

(I am surprised for a moment, but then think maybe she is referring to movies in 3D, sometimes those look a little blurry.)

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “Well, it says here that it is blurry and if its too bad I do not want to rent it.”

Me: “Oh, let me see it.”

Customer: “Do you have any other copies?”

Me: “Ma’am, this copy isn’t blurry. It is in Blu-Ray, the new format designed to replace DVD movies.”

Customer: “Oh, alright.”

Me: “Do you have a Blu-Ray player?”

Customer: “What is that?”

Me: “I’ll just grab a DVD copy of the movie for you.”

Unfeasible Fees

| Montreal, Canada | Crazy Requests, Money, Uncategorized

Customer: “I don’t like these hidden fees! You guys never told me I would have a fee for this!”

Me: “Sorry sir, however we did send you documentation when you opened your account, and the fees were clearly explained.”

Customer: “No one reads those! I shred the mail as soon as I receive it!”

Me: “It’s also on our website if you’d like to have a look.”

Customer: “I don’t have the computer. You can’t expect people to go online to search for your hidden fees. I bet if I go on the site, it won’t even be there!”

Me: “If you’d like I can tell you all our fees over the phone right now, I’d be more than happy to.”

Customer: “I don’t have time for that! Do I look like someone who has time for that?”

Me: “Would you like me to remail you the agreement of the account? You’d receive it 5 business days.”

Customer: “You’re not even listening, you’re an idiot! I told you, I shred my mail when I get it!”

Her Head’s Up In The Sky With Diamonds

| Las Vegas, NV, USA | Musical Mayhem, Uncategorized

(A customer about the age of thirty walks into the store.)

Me: “Hello, how may I help you today?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for some recent Beatles records. Do you have any?”

Me: *assuming she means recent re-releases* “Hold on one second.”

(I find some and hand it to her.)

Customer: “Thank you so much! The Beatles are my favorite band! I would shoot myself if they ever broke up!”

Customer behind her: “Well, get your gun ready.”

Exchanges At This Rate Will Get You Nowhere

| Brisbane, Australia | Money, Uncategorized

Customer: “I need to pay this bill and the bank said I had to come to the post office.”

Me: “Ok, that will be $625.80.”

Customer: “No, it’s $500.”

Me: “No, it’s $500 US. In Australian dollars, that’s $625.80.”

Customer: “No, it says right there it’s $500. You are just discriminating against my daughter!”

Me: “Um…”

Customer: “How else can you justify a $125 fee?”

Me: “Our fee is $8; the Australian dollar is only around .8 of the American dollar.”

Customer: “So what you are saying is, I would be better off paying a thousand dollars?”

(This continues for some minutes until an old lady in line behind the customer speaks up.)

Old Lady: “I’m going to have to go to another post office. This will never get resolved. This woman is just too stupid to live!”

Stupidity Killed The Radio Star

| Saskatoon, SK, Canada | Musical Mayhem, Uncategorized

(I work at a radio station. This caller is live on the air.)

Me: “Hello! What would you like to hear?”

Teenage Girl:Fireflies!”

Me: “By Owl City?”

Teenage Girl: “Woah! I hear my voice!”

Me: “Yeah, you’re on the air.”

Teenage Girl: “Molly! If you can hear this I’m so totally sorry about kissing your brother!”

Me: “Uh…”

Teenage Girl: “Are you going to play I Like Big Butts or not?”

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