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    Introducing The Xbox Air

    , | Cortlandt Manor, NY, USA |

    (Note: this was the holiday season that the Xbox 360 came out.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I would like to purchase the “Box 360″.”

    Me: “Oh, the Xbox 360. Well, unfortunately we do not have any more left in store to sell you.”

    Customer: *pointing at display box* “Then what is this? Are you lying to me? Is it because I’m old that you think you can get away with this?!”

    Me: “No, ma’am. Those boxes are for display purposes only.”

    Customer: “Well, I want one right now.”

    Me: “We don’t have any in stock, but I can special order one for–”

    Customer: “Now listen here, you idiot! I see this box right here and I want to buy my son the Box 360!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can’t sell you a display box. The only thing I can do is special order you one. However, I can guarantee it will be there before Christmas.”

    Customer: “I will take this Box 360 and I am not paying for it!”

    (The customer suddenly throws the display box, resulting in security coming over.)

    Me, to the little boy with her: “Is she usually like that?”

    Little Boy: “Yes, and if she would listen I wanted a PS2!”

    I Sense Another Frivolous Lawsuit, Part 2

    , | El Paso, TX, USA |

    (My checkout is right at the top of the escalators, with four kids ranging in age from about 7-13 were playing on them.)

    Me: “Guys, please don’t play on the escalators, you could get hurt.”

    (The kids go away for all of a minute, then return.)

    Me: “I asked you to please stop playing on the escalator.”

    (A woman emerges from a display a few yards away.)

    Customer: “Don’t tell my kids what to do!”

    Me: “Ma’am, then please keep them away from the escalators, its dangerous.”

    Customer: “Don’t tell me what to do!”

    (Just then, one of her little kids falls down the escalator.)

    Me: “You were saying, ma’am?”

    Customer: *storms off*

    Related: I Sense Another Frivolous Lawsuit

    Perhaps The Wolves Are Still Available To Babysit Tonight…

    | Fairbanks, AK, USA |

    Customer: *with child in tow* “Excuse me, do you work here?”

    Me: “Yes, can I help you find something?”

    Customer: “There’s no one in your children’s department.”

    Me: “Ma’am?”

    Customer: “There’s usually one of you people in the kids’ department.”

    Me: “Yes…our lead Children’s Zoning person called out today…”

    Customer: “Well then, just who is supposed to watch the children?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, what do you mean?”

    Customer: “Who’s going to watch the children? I leave my little girl over there while I shop, and I expect someone to watch her.”

    Me: “…”

    Customer: In your children’s department. The DAYCARE.”

    Me: “Ma’am…we don’t have a daycare…”

    Customer: “…” *walks away*

    VIP: Very Irritating Person

    | New York, NY, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling ****. How may I direct your call?”

    Caller: “I’m in a meeting.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Caller: “I’m in a meeting.”

    Me: “Sir, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

    Caller: “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m in a meeting.”

    Me: “Sir, you called me.”

    Caller: “Yes, I called to let you know I’m in a meeting.”

    Me: “…” *hangs up*

    An Unsalvageable Lie

    | Ottawa, Canada |

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like to return this. *hands me a metal, foot-operated garbage bin*

    Me: “Sure, I’ll need the receipt please.”

    Customer: “I don’t have it.”

    Me: “OK, is there any reason why you’re returning it?”

    Customer: “Yeah, my wife didn’t want it.”

    Me: “Did you use it?”

    Customer: “No.”

    (I open it to find an old dirty sock.)

    Me: “Sir, I can’t take this. There’s a dirty sock in there.”

    Customer: “That was already in there.”

    Me: “…”

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