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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    A Little Thing Called Responsibility

    , | Video Game Store |

    (I walked into a game store and there was a violent car jacking on the local news where a poor couple had been killed. The only person behind the counter is a good friend of mine and an middle-aged woman walks in.)

    Woman: “I can’t believe today’s violence. I blame that, the violent media.”

    Me: “Yeah, people are a little crazy these days.”

    Woman: *to my friend* “Can I have that Call of Duty 4 there, please?”

    My Friend: “Um, who are you buying this for? It’s a little survey the store is doing…”

    Woman: “Oh, of course! It’s for my 13-year-old son. ”

    (As soon as she left, my friend and I busted out laughing.)

    More Frisky Than Frail

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA |

    (A man of at least 80 years of age came up to my checkout lane. Here’s what happened as I was bagging his last item.)

    Me: “Man, I just don’t think this is gonna fit in here.”

    Customer, completely straight-faced: “That’s what she said.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer, still straight-faced: “That’s what she said.”

    (Needless to say, I nearly died of laughter. If there were only more grandfathers like that out there.)

    Even Bosses Have A Stupid Quota, Part 3

    , | Ottawa, ON, Canada |

    Me: “Hello ma’am, and welcome to ***. What can I get for you today?”

    Woman w/ son: “I’d like two burgers, one of them on a sesame-seedless bun, please.”

    Me: “I’m terribly sorry, but we’re actually out of seedless buns right now.”

    Woman w/ son: “How dare you! My son has deathly allergies to a lot of things, I’ll have you know!”

    Me: “Ma’am, is he allergic to sesame seeds?”

    Woman w/ son: “No, he isn’t.”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, the only difference between seeded and seedless buns are the sesame seeds, so it will be fine for your son to eat one with seeds.”

    Woman w/ son: “HOW F**KING DARE YOU! YOU DON’T TELL ME WHAT MY SON CAN OR CANNOT EAT! I WANT A SEEDLESS BUN, D**N YOU! GET ME YOUR MANAGER!”

    Me: “Yes, of course. Just one moment.”

    (I go and get the manager and explain the situation. My manager, NOT a people person, grabs a seeded bun and proceeds to the front with a knife.)

    Manager: “HERE IS YOUR D**N SEEDLESS BUN!”

    (My manager slices off the top half of the bun and throws it on the counter.)

    Me: “Have a nice day, ma’am.”

    Woman w/ son: “Oh, shut the f**k up.”

    Related:
    Even Bosses Have A Stupid Quota, Part 2
    Even Bosses Have A Stupid Quota

    Hippocrates Is Rolling Over In His Grave

    , | Southern Illinois, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling, how can I help you?”

    Doctor: “I need to verify my patient’s coverage. Her number is *****.”

    Me: I’m sorry, ma’am, but there is a problem and I can’t access that account. I will have to forward this issue over to our technical department and they will get back to you as soon as possible.”

    Doctor: “I need this information immediately. Can I talk to them now? It’s very important.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, they are very backed up over there and everything is handled in the order it is received. You will be added to the queue and they will get back to you later today.”

    Doctor: “What if she was DYING and I needed her coverage information? What then?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, with all due respect, if the patient was dying there in your office, I would hope you would treat her regardless of her insurance coverage.”

    Doctor: “Well, yes–I mean–just make sure they call me today.” *click*

    Some Questions Should Never Be Asked, Part 2

    , | Riverhead, NY, USA |

    (A customer approaches one of my cashiers holding two children’s t-shirts with identical logos one boys and one girls. We were having a liquidation sale and all boys’ clothing was 40% off while girls’ clothing was 50% off.)

    Customer: “What’s the discount on these?”

    Cashier: “One is 40% off and the other is 50% off.”

    Customer: “Why are they different?”

    Cashier: “One is girls and one is boys.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand… what’s the difference between girls and boys?”

    Cashier: *without even skipping a beat* “Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina.”

    (Cue the entire checkout line laughing.)

    Related:
    Some Questions Should Never Be Asked


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