Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
    (2,476 thumbs up)
  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    A Nasty Case Of Selective Hearingitis

    | Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Top

    (I was working for the billing department for a big cable company. I speak English clearly, but it’s my second language.)

    Lady: “I just got my bill and it says I owe you $400 in adult films, but I haven’t watched them.”

    Me: “I apologize for the inconvenience, but we got that information from your receiver. Do you think maybe somebody in your house might ordered them?”

    Lady: “No, there’s only me and my nephew.”

    Me: “How old is your nephew?”

    Lady: “He’s 14 years old, but he would never do that! I need you to credit my account for the whole amount.”

    Me: “Again, I apologize for the inconvenience but I won’t be able to do this at this time. I see we have credited your account twice in the last six months.”

    Lady: “I need the credit NOW, you hear me!”

    Me: “I understand your frustration, but as I told you before it’s impossible for me to do that at this moment.”

    Lady: “What? What did you say? I can’t understand you… you have a really thick accent!”

    Me: “I apologize, I said I won’t be able to credit your account at this time.”

    Lady: “What? You need to learn English before you get on the phones. I can’t understand a word you said!”

    Me: “Okay… so would you like me to credit your account for 600 dollars?”

    Lady: “Yes, that’s what I’m asking for! THANK YOU…”

    Me: “Oh, so now you understand my English. Sorry, we cannot credit your account at this time.”

    Lady: “Let me speak to a supervisor!”

    Related:
    A Nasty Case Of Selective Illiteracyosis

    Guess Whose Picture Is Next To “Pyrrhic”

    | Little Neck, NY, USA | Top

    (We sell milk for 2.99 a gallon. Some kid pulled the “.” and the “9″ off so it says 29 dollars. Not surprisingly, a lady comes in to buy a gallon and hands me thirty dollars.)

    Me: “Ma’am, you just gave me a twenty and 10 singles to buy milk. It’s only $2.99.”

    Lady: “Well that’s not what the sign says! it says 29 dollars!”

    Me: “But ma’am, you’re paying more money than it actually costs.”

    Lady: “I don’t care how much it costs! Just do your job and give me my f**king milk for 29 dollars!”

    Me: “Okay, If that’s what you want…” *gives her a dollar back*

    Lady: “Thank you! If you had just done your job I would’ve been out of here by now!”

    Me: “Have a great day!”

    I See Purple Triangles And Rainbows In Your Future

    , | California, USA |

    (A boy and his mother come up to my register. The boy starts asking questions about the ant farm we have on display.)

    Boy: “Can they mate?”

    Me: “No, there’s no queen in there.”

    Boy: “Oh… so they can’t mate?”

    Me: “No, they’re all male.”

    Boy: “So they can’t?”

    Mother: *turns to boy* “Okay, shut up or go away! You’re being annoying!”

    Bang Head Here

    | London, UK | Top

    Me: “Hello, technical support, how can I help?”

    Customer: “I don’t know what’s wrong with my computer. Can you tell me?”

    Me: “Well… can you explain what’s wrong?”

    Customer: “Your job is to tell me what’s wrong.”

    Me: “Yes, but unless you help me I can’t tell you what is wrong.”

    Customer: “Why? Can’t you guess what’s wrong?”

    (I have decided a this point whatever is wrong will be something stupid.)

    Me: “Okay, maybe you can’t turn your computer on because it hasn’t got any power.”

    Customer: *angrily* “DO YOU THINK I’M STUPID?”

    (Suddenly, the customer calms down.)

    Customer: “Sorry, you were wrong. It’s plugged in and the light is green. Can you guess what’s wrong? It’s still black on the screen.”

    Me: “Well, is your screen on?”

    Customer: “Yes, I just said it was. It’s just black!”

    Me: “Right click.”

    Customer: “Hey, it worked… oh, it was a screensaver. Couldn’t you have guessed it was that at the start?”

    Me: *thud thud thud*

    Customer: “What was that?”

    Me: “Guess.”

    Liar Liar On The Telephone (Wire)

    | Warner Robins, GA, USA | Top

    Me: “Hello, [company name], how may I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes, I would like to speak to [company president's first name].”

    Me: “May I ask who is calling?”

    Caller: “This is Joe. He is expecting my call.”

    Me: “… and you are with?”

    Caller: “Just put me through, he knows me and is expecting me to call.”

    Me: “I am sorry sir, but my instructions are to find out who is calling and what company they are with before transferring the call.”

    Caller: “Look, I am his brother and you better put me through right now!”

    Me: “Oh really? Well, I am his sister and I know for a fact that we don’t have a brother.”

    Caller: *click*

    (Salesmen will say anything to get through. And yes, I am the CEO’s sister.)

    Related:
    Liar Liar Panties On Fire


    Page 1,819/1,972First...1,8171,8181,8191,8201,821...Last