So Gullible It’s Hard To Believe

| Auburn Hills, MI, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer has used the store’s emergency exit, setting off the alarms. A husband and wife walk up to my cheese display while the alarms sound.)

Wife:  “What’s that sound!?”

Me: “Oh, that’s just the employee alarm.”

Wife: “Employee alarm?”

Me: “Yes, it tells the managers that one of the employees tried to escape the building, so they can retrieve them.”

Husband: *chuckles*

Wife: *serious, eyes wide* “Oh, that’s awful!”

Me: “Don’t worry, by now they have already sedated them and locked them back in the closet with the rest of the off-duty employees.”

Wife: “They lock up the employees?!”

Me: “Only when they are not being used. It stops them from being late to work, you see.”

Wife:  “Some one needs to do something to help these poor–”

Husband:  “Dear, he is joking. That was a door alarm.”

Wife: “Oh…are you sure?”

Husband: “Yes.”

Wife: *looks relieved and walks away*

Husband: *laughs* “Thank you for that!”

Me:  “I’m glad you enjoyed it. Try some cheese?”

New at CES: Unending Serial Bus

| Ventspils, Latvia | Uncategorized

Customer: “I need an USB cable.”

Me: “For which device?”

Customer: “For my computer!”

Me: “But you will plug it in somewhere?”

Customer: “Yes, in my computer!”

Me: “But what’s at the other end of the cable?”

Customer: “What other end?”

The Bear-est Signs Of Intelligence

| Dallas, TX, USA | Top

(The customer is buying one piece of jewelry. I’m all about the environment so I try to avoid giving out bags for small purchases.)

Me: “Would you like a bag, or do you want to put it in your purse?”

Customer: “My purse is fine.”

Me: “Yay! You just saved a polar bear!”

Customer: *eyes go wide* “Plastic bags… are made out of… polar bears?!”

Who Needs Highs When You’ve Got Dyes

| New York, NY, USA | Top

(Note: I have light blue hair with dark blue tips.)

Customer: *staring at me*

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Am I still high, or is your hair really like that?”

Your Two-fer Just Went Poofer

| USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I’d like a grande white mocha and a tall peppermint hot chocolate.”

Me: “Alright, that’ll be $*.**.”

Customer: “What? For one drink? That’s impossible!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, miss. I thought I heard you order two drinks. What did you order?”

Customer: “A tall peppermint hot chocolate.”

Me, to coworker: “Forget the white mocha.”

Customer: “No! I still want it!”

Me: “Oh, so you just wanted me to ring the two drinks separately?”

Customer: “No! I want it, but I don’t want you to ring it up.”

Me: *blank stare*

Customer: “Oh. I guess I’m not getting away with it, am I?”

Me: “Nope.”

Page 1,819/2,656First...1,8171,8181,8191,8201,821...Last