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    A Sign That Tells The Future Is A Sign

    , | Chapel Hill, NC, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

    (A customer comes in and orders two large pizzas and tries to pay with a $100 bill.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t provide more than $20 in change.”

    Customer: “What? Why not?”

    Me: “It’s our policy.”

    Customer: “Then you should have a sign up telling people that!”

    Me: “Well, sir, if you look to your right you’ll see just such a sign.”

    Customer: “You should have a sign that tells people before they get here!”

    The Cup Is Half Empty Kinda Guy

    | Norway | Liars & Scammers, Money

    (The chain we are a part of has a free coffee/warm beverage deal if you buy a cup with their brand, new each year of course. A customer comes to cash registry with smoking hot cup of warm coffee and a candy bar. The cup clearly states it is from 2005.)

    Me: “That’s [price] sir.”

    Customer: *shouting* “What?! For one lousy candy bar? Are you insane?”

    Me: “No sir, that’s for the candy bar, and for the hot beverage.”

    Customer: “This is a brand new cup! I bought it last week. Don’t try to rip me off!”

    (I point out the 2005 and he stares blankly at me for a second.)

    Customer: “But I have a gold card! I’m entitled to coffee all year long!”

    Me: “No, sir, you’re entitled to one cup. If you lose the cup, or fail to bring it, then you must pay for it.”

    Customer: “I shouldn’t have to pay for things that I buy!”

    No Holding Back

    | Webster, NY, USA | Bizarre, Musical Mayhem, Technology

    Me: “Thank you for calling [company] support, can I have your employee ID number, please?”

    Caller: “Yeah, can you put me on hold?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Caller: “I called before and complained about the awful hold music you guys use. I want to see if you changed it.”

    Me: “Hold on just a minute.”

    (I put the caller on hold for a minute.)

    Me: “Hello, are you still there ma’am?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I’m here.”

    Me: “So is the hold music any less awful?”

    Caller: “No, not really. Thanks.” *click*

    Heartless & Toothless

    | Wisconsin Rapids, WI, USA | At The Checkout, Religion

    (I am ringing up an older female customer’s order which includes several name brand toothbrushes. They ring up at $3.50.)

    Customer: “Those toothbrushes should be 99 cents and buy-one-get-one-free!”

    Me: “That price was actually for the store brand ones that were located right under these. The sale tag is displayed right above the item.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t want them, then. They were for the homeless at my church, and they don’t need toothbrushes if they cost that much!”

    Intelligence Goes Into The Trash Can

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Technology

    Customer: “I had something typed up that I was going to send you. Tell me, how do you find a file that you’ve lost on your computer? I know it’s on here somewhere, but I can’t find it.”

    Me: “Oh, well, go to the upper right hand corner–”

    Customer: “I’ve tried that! I couldn’t find the file!”

    Me: “Hmm. Do you remember what the file name was?”

    Customer: “I don’t think it had a file name!”

    Me: “Well, did you save it as ‘Untitled’, then?”

    Customer: “I don’t think I saved it…”

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