• Gloating About Gluten
    (1,542 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    Should Have Gone For (M)Academia

    | California, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Uncategorized

    Customer: “What’s in the White Chocolate Macadamia cookie?”

    Me: “White chocolate and macadamias.”

    Customer: “Oh, duh,. That was a stupid question.”

    Me: “It’s okay, people ask me all the time what kind of nuts are in the ‘Chocolate Almond Joy’.”

    Customer: “Oh yeah, ha ha! Walnuts!”

    Overly Essaying The Situation

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Crazy Requests, Uncategorized

    Me: “What can I help you with today, sir?”

    Customer: “Well for starters, you can talk to that girl at the front desk. She made me fill out so much paperwork!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. She must have been mistaken. Can you show me the forms you were asked to complete?”

    Customer: “No. I don’t have them.”

    Me: *confused* “Where are they?”

    (The man proceeds to lead me to the front desk and gestures at the sign-in sheet where visitors are asked to write their name and zip code.)

    Customer: “This! She made me write all this!”

    Cutting Down Credit Fraud

    | Managua, Nicaragua | Liars & Scammers, Money, Uncategorized

    Me: “Thank you for calling [bank], how can I help you?”

    Caller: “Hey man! I got some fraudulent charges on my credit card.”

    Me: “Ok sir, I understand let me help you report this.”

    Caller: “Don’t worry son, I already took care of it.”

    Me: “So you already called to report it?”

    Caller: “No son, I cut my credit card in thousands of pieces. Now I need a new one.”

    Uphill Struggle

    | Mont Cenis, France | Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

    ( I am providing a guided skiing tour of the mountain.)

    Customer: “So, where are we going next?”

    Me: “Well, do you see that lift over there?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    Me: “Well, we’re going to head up that one until we reach the top of the mountain, and then–”

    Customer: “Are you kidding? It’ll be cold up there, and we’ll just have to ski back down again!”

    Piercing Observation

    | Miami, FL, USA | Family & Kids, Top, Underaged

    (I’m approached by what looks to be a teenager and a younger child.)

    Teenager: “Hello. My daughter would like to get her belly button pierced.”

    Me: “Did the man at the front check your ID?”

    Teenager: “No.”

    Me: “I’m going to have to.”

    (I see that he is seventeen years old.)

    Me: “Sir, this ID shows that you’re even younger then me. How old are you?”

    Younger Child: “Eleven.”

    Me: “So she’s eleven?”

    Teenager: “Yes.”

    Me: “And you’re seventeen?”

    Teenager: “Yes.”

    Me: “So you had her when you were six?”

    *long pause*

    Younger Child: “I told you it wouldn’t work, dumba**!”

    Page 1,816/2,507First...1,8141,8151,8161,8171,818...Last