Common Sense On The Decline(d)

| Canada | Uncategorized

Caller: “My credit card was declined and I want to know why! I’ve never been so embarrassed! I will be canceling my credit card with your f***ing bank as soon as I make this last transaction!”

(After properly identifying the customer, being yelled at for having to ask security questions and looking through the account, I find the answer.)

Me: “The purchase did not go through today because you requested a hold on your account last week when you left your credit card at a shopping mall.”

Caller: “Are you suggesting I’m stupid? I know I asked for a hold, but wouldn’t you incompetent people realize I must have my credit card if I am attempting a purchase?”

(I remain silent as the customer realizes what they have just said.)

Caller: “Oh!”

Me: “Is there anything else I can do to help you today?”

Caller: *click*

Not So Smart-Phone, Part 2

| IN, USA | Uncategorized

Caller: “How do I make a call from this touch-screen phone? I can’t figure it out.”

Me: “Are you calling from the device?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “Repeat what you did, but with a different number.”

Related:
Not So Smart-Phone

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 7

| Seattle, WA, USA | Uncategorized

Caller: “Hi, I saw a car online and wanted some info on it.”

Me: “Sure, let me tell you all about it. Do you have a pen?”

Caller: “Yeah, 4351.”

Me: “What’s that?”

Caller: “My PIN.”

Me: “To your bank account?!”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 6
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 5
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 4
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 3
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 2
This Is Why We’re In A Recession

Margarinelly Insane

| Surrey, UK | Uncategorized

Old Lady: *shouting randomly* “Marge? Marge?”

Me: “Are you OK?”

Old Lady: *worriedly* “I can’t find Marge!”

Me: “OK, I’ll see if I can find someone to help you.”

Old Lady: “Please don’t go, you must help me find Marge!”

Me: “OK, what does she look like?”

Old Lady: “Who?”

Me: “Your friend Marge?”

Old Lady: “I’m looking for margarine, it should be next to the butter!”

Cutting Remarks

| Greenville, SC, USA | Uncategorized

Student: “I need to write a five-paragraph essay for my English class. Can you help me find some books?”

Me: “Okay, what’s your topic?”

Student: “I thought I’d write it about Jesus.”

Me: “Maybe you could narrow it down? Why don’t you choose a Bible verse that inspires you and write about that?”

Student: “Thanks! You’re so sweet! If I cut you, you’d bleed syrup.”

Me: “I…thank you?”

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