A Little Big Communication Problem

| London, England, UK | Uncategorized

Customer: “I’d like some big little batteries, please.”

(I gesture behind me.)

Customer: “Big-little ones.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t follow.”

Customer: “You know, you’ve got little-little ones, then little-big ones, then big-little ones, then big-big ones. You know?”

Me: “I’m sorry, you’re being very vague.”

Customer: “I just want some rechargeable big-little batteries.”

Me: “These are the only rechargeable batteries we do.”

Customer: “Yes! Those! Big-little ones, see?”

Putting The Men On The Menu

| St. George, UT, USA | Uncategorized

(Some customers come up to my till to pay for their meals.)

Me: “How was your meal today, sir?”

Customer: “It was good and I was delicious.”

His Head’s Up In The Sky, With Diamonds

| Wall, NJ, USA | Top

(Our store music system is playing Coldplay’s ‘Viva la Vida’. A customer comes up to me, and start making small talk.)

Customer: “I love this song!”

Me: “Yeah, I like it too. Although, there is a Swedish singer who does a cover of this. I happen to like that one better.”

Customer: “You listen to Swedish music?”

Me: “Well, not really. I just heard that there was a cover of it. I looked it up and–”

Customer: “This is America, sweetie! You should only listen to American music!”

Me: “Sir, you do know that Coldplay, the band who sings this song, is from England?”

Customer: “No, they’re not! They play this song on the radio! American radio!”

Me: “I assure you, sir. They are from England.”

Customer: “Well, I can’t like this song anymore! Unlike you, I only listen to American music–like The Rolling Stones and The Beatles!”

Related:
Her Head’s Up In The Sky, With Diamonds

Credit Car

| USA | Uncategorized

(I am finishing ringing up a customer’s purchases.)

Me: “That’ll be $14.00.”

Customer: “So, I want to pay with my credit card, but it’s out in the car. Is that okay?”

Me: “Sure, that’s fine.”

(There’s an uncomfortable pause as the customer stands there, as if waiting for something else to happen. Finally, the lightbulb goes on.)

Customer: “Oh, do I have to actually go get it?”

Have Their Second Sights Set On This School

| Boston, MA, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [university] admissions. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Hi. I’d like to register my daughter for a campus tour and info session.”

Me: “Great! Can I have her name?”

Caller: “Sure. Her name is [name].”

(Many times, students are already in our system. We check the high school to make sure it’s the correct person.)

Me: “Does she go to [name] high school?”

Caller: “Oh my God! Yes! Are you psychic?”

Page 1,811/2,737First...1,8091,8101,8111,8121,813...Last