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    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 8

    | Broomfield, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Uncategorized

    (A customer is paying her credit card bill.)

    Me: “Would you like to pay with cash, check, or debit card?”

    Customer: “I can pay with a debit card?”

    Me: “You sure can.”

    (The customer slides her card.)

    Customer: “I don’t remember my pin. I’ll just try one.”

    (The customer’s card is declined.)

    Me: “Do you want to try again?”

    Customer: “No, my mom will use her card.”

    (The customer’s mother tries, but she doesn’t remember her PIN either.)

    Me: “You can pay with cash or a check.”

    (The customer pulls a folded check from her pocket and hands it to me. I open it to see that it’s blank.)

    Me: “Um…”

    Customer: “Oh, am I supposed to fill that out?”

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 7
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 6
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 5
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 4
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 3
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 2
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession

    Talking Turkey Results In Mass Deviations

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science, Uncategorized

    Customer: “I want a turkey, but I’m not sure how large.”

    Me: “Well, how many people are you having over?”

    Customer: “I don’t know. Maybe seven.”

    Me: “How about a ten to twelve pound turkey?”

    Customer: “Oh, that’s too small.”

    Me: “Well, then how about a twelve to fourteen pound turkey?”

    Customer: “Oh, that’s too big.”

    (We go back and forth like this for ten minutes or so until the customer decides on a fourteen pound turkey. The customer behind her asks for and gets an 18 pound turkey which has a $10 off sticker on it.)

    Customer: “How come that turkey’s $10 off? I want $10 off for my turkey.”

    Me: “Ma’am, that’s for turkeys that are at least sixteen pounds. Turkeys less than sixteen pounds are $5 off.”

    Customer: “I don’t want a turkey that’s that big. Don’t you have a sixteen pound turkey that’s only fourteen pounds?”

    A Tourist Traveling To Terror Incognita

    | Ashburn, VA, USA | Family & Kids, Funny Names, Movies & TV, Uncategorized

    (I’m working as the ticket tearer when two young kids come up and ask me a question.)

    Kid #1: “Our parents were in a different movie. They said they would be out first, but they aren’t here. It’s been a long time.”

    Me: “Okay, do you know what movie they saw?”

    Kid #2: “It was the terrorist, they went to see the terrorists!”

    Me: “Oh! The Tourist with Johnny Depp. That won’t get out for another 10 minutes.”

    Kid #1: “No it was the Terrorist! They said there was bombs and gangsters so we had to see Tangled instead.”

    Me: “Well we don’t have that movie, so I’m sure it was the Tourist.”

    (Kids walk away to wait. I overhear them.)

    Kid #2: “What’s a tourist?”

    Kid #1: “It must be the terrorists’ friends!”

    Acting Nutty

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Language & Words, Pets & Animals, Technology, Uncategorized

    (I am helping a customer scan and email important documents to his insurance company. He speaks English very poorly.)

    Me: “Okay, sir. The email is sending now. It will just take a moment. There! Sent!”

    Customer: “Is sent?”

    Me: “Yes. Your agent should get the email any second now.”

    Customer: “Oh! Am so happy! Happy like SQUIRREL!”

    Judging By Their Cover

    | Augusta, GA, USA | Books & Reading, Spouses & Partners, Uncategorized

    (I’m stocking the front-of-store. A couple asks me for help.)

    Wife: “Hi, we’re looking for a gift for a really weird friend of ours. He’s really hard to shop for.”

    Me: “Sure, what sort of thing are you looking for?”

    Husband: “No, he’s really weird. He actually likes to read books.”

    Wife: “Hush, honey. He works in a bookstore. He’s probably weird too.”

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