They’ll Never Survive Welsh

| Manchester, UK | Funny Names, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

(A tourist is in line to get a ticket.)

Tourist: “Can I have a ticket to Loogahgbaroogah?”

Me: “Sorry, where?”

Tourist: “Loogahbaroogah.”

Me: Sir, there is no rail station in the UK called Loogahbaroogah.”

Tourist: “But…”

Me: “Did you mean Loughbrough?” (It’s pronounced ‘Luffbruh’)

(The tourist gets his ticket and walks off, followed by the next customer in line.)

Next Customer: “It’s a good job he didn’t want my ticket. Return to Llanelli, please.”

America, Land Of The Not-So-Free

| Houston, TX, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Would you like a free year of anti-virus for this computer?”

Customer: “No, that is too expensive! In my country, we can get it for about $16 USD!”

Me: “Well, in this country you get it for free when you buy a computer.”

Customer: “No, it’s too expensive. You give me a deal?”

Me: “I can charge you $16 US Dollars for the anti-virus.”

Customer: “Okay! You see? You gave me a deal.”

Inching Away From Intelligence

| Ireland | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hi. I’d like to return my 13″ laptop please.”

Me: “Alright. Any particular reason you want to return it?”

Customer: “I thought the screen would be bigger, so I want to buy a larger one instead.”

Me: “So you thought your 13″ laptop was going to have a bigger screen?”

Customer: “Yeah. When I was buying it online it said ‘widescreen’.”

Bohemian Nobody

| Durham, NC, USA | Top

(A customer approaches the service counter.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Is this the real life?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Is this just fantasy?”

Me: *catching on* “Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality.”

Customer: “D*** it! I was trying to prank you! You shouldn’t know what I’m doing!”

Me: “Doesn’t really matter to me, to meeee.”

Customer: “F*** you!” *storms off*

Not-So-Fast Forward

| United Kingdom | Uncategorized

(I sell cable TV packages, and talk the caller through set-up. Our service offers a service where you can record programs and pause and rewind TV.)

Caller: “And can it fast-forward live TV?”

Me: “Um, no, it can’t.”

Caller: “I would have thought it could, since it can pause and rewind live TV.”

Me: “Fast-forwarding live TV is a bit different.”

Caller: “Forget I said that.”

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