Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Got Him Out Of A Pickle
    (3,085 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    Chilly Reception

    | Belfast, Ireland |

    (I was working at the kiosk where we sell sweets and drinks when this transaction occurred with an old woman over the bottled water.)

    Customer: “Is that water cold?”

    Me: “Yes, it’s just out of the fridge.”

    Customer: “I don’t see a fridge.”

    (I gesture towards the fridge a few feet away from the kiosk.)

    Customer: “Can’t I just have one out of there?”

    Me: “Yeah, of course.”

    (I fetch her one out of the fridge.)

    Customer: “That doesn’t look too cold to me.”

    Me: “…well, you can feel for yourself, if you like. It really is quite cold.”

    Customer: “No. You do it.”

    (I put my hand against the bottle and then pretend to flinch.)

    Me: “You’re right, ma’am, it’s boiling hot. I’m very sorry about that.”

    Customer: “I’ll just have a Coke then.”

    Me: “…”

    Heal The Blind, Raise The Dead, & Now A Book Deal

    | San Diego, Ca, USA |

    Customer: “I’m looking for the autobiography of Jesus.”

    Me: “Um, do you mean a biography of Jesus?”

    Customer: “No! I want the AUTO-biography of Jesus! Where would it be?”

    Me: “Well, I guess you could try the Bible section…”

    Dealing With Customers Is Child’s Play

    | Eugene, OR, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling ****, this is ****, how may I help you?”

    Customer: *laughing hysterically* “Is there a grown-up there?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: *still laughing* “Is there a grown-up there? You sound like a child!”

    Me: “Oh, thank you ma’am, but I’m an adult. What can I help you with?”

    Customer: “Are you sure? You sound like you’re three! What do they do, hire children?”

    Me: “No, I’m 22 actually. What can I do for you?”

    Customer: “Pass me to someone who sounds like an adult.”

    Me: “I don’t think we’ll be able to help you.” *hangs up*

    How About A Few Reindeer And Elves While You’re At It

    | Bakersfield, CA, US | Top

    Me: “Thank you for calling *** Country Club, this is ***. How can I help you?”

    Member: “Hi, I need to make a reservation for dinner tonight.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but due to it being Christmas Eve, the club is closing at 2 o’clock today.”

    Member: “…”

    Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

    Member: “I have never heard of any business closing early on Christmas Eve. It’s not even a holiday, for God’s sake!”

    Me: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am… we did send out several emails containing our holiday hours.”

    Member: “I don’t read your f***ing emails! Either way, it doesn’t matter.Wwe are coming for dinner tonight, so take the reservation for me.”

    Me: “We aren’t open for dinner tonight, so I can’t take your reservation.”

    Member: “Well, you better take the reservation, because all of my family is coming in from out of town and I told them that we would be eating at the club! We need a reservation for 15 people at 7 o’clock tonight.”

    Me: “I think we must be misunderstanding each other. There won’t be anyone here at 7 o’clock.”

    Member: “I pay my dues like everyone else, and I expect you to be open at 7 to serve us! Make the reservation!”

    Me: “Okay…”

    Member: “Do it now!”

    Me: “…”

    Member: “I pay my dues!”

    Me: “Okay, I have to go now.”

    Member: “And we want a private room!”

    Me: “Good luck with that…”

    (To this day, we wonder if they showed up for dinner.)

    It’s Aliiiiive!

    , | Minneapolis, MN, USA |

    Caller: “I’m having trouble registering for courses.”

    Me: “Okay let me direct you to some tutorials available on the main website so we can walk through that process.”

    Me: “Okay you can either view these tutorials as a module
    demonstration or you can click ‘Download PDF’ to view a written tutorial with pictures and steps. Go ahead and click on ‘Download PDF.”

    Caller: “Woah, wait a minute. Why is there a white arrow moving around on my screen?”

    Me: “Well, whenever you move your mouse you’ll see a white arrow move around on the screen. Is that what you are referring to?”

    Caller: “Ooh… ”

    Me: “Okay, well let’s go to the… ”

    Caller: “Oh my gosh, make it stop! Make it stop! Why is it adding me to courses I don’t want! I don’t want [course], I don’t want it! Why is it doing this!? Please, please make it stop!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s okay. It’s just a demonstration to show you how the registration process works. It’s not actually adding you to those courses.”

    Caller: “Ooh.”

    Me: “Ma’am, what courses did you want to register for? I’m just going to go ahead and submit those registration requests for you…”

    Page 1,809/2,154First...1,8071,8081,8091,8101,811...Last