No Omelettes Are Totally Waffle

| Kill Devil Hills, NC, USA | Top

Me: “And here’s your waffle, sir, with bacon on the side.”

Customer: “What? No, I didn’t order this. I ordered the bacon egg and cheese omelette.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I have it written down that you got a waffle with bacon. I will have to fix that.”

Customer’s wife: “No, you will not. He ordered the waffle. I heard him.”

Customer: “No, I didn’t. I specifically ordered the omelette. I know I did.”

Customer’s wife: “No, honey! We had the conversation on which one you were going to get. You told me you were going to get the omelette, and it surprised me when you didn’t.”

Customer: “Then why didn’t you say something?”

Customer’s wife: “Because you always ask my opinion, and say that’s what you’ll do. Then you change your mind! I just figured you were ignoring my opinion again!”

Customer: “Well, fine. I guess I’ll have to eat this.”

Me: “Are you sure? I can change it.?”

Customer: “Actually, would you?”

Customer’s wife: “No! You ordered it, you eat it.”

Customer, to me: “That’s what she says to the kids.”

Reaching Crunch Time

| St. Pete Beach, FL, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I’d like a scoop of chocolate.”

Me: “Cup or cone?”

Customer: “Do you have any edible cones?”

Me: “All of our cones are edible.”

Customer: “Can I take it with me on the beach?”

Me: “All cones are entirely portable.”

Customer: “Do you have any that don’t crunch?”

Zombies Need Tech Support Too

| Newcastle, UK | Uncategorized, Zombies

Me: “Thank you for calling [technology firm]. How can I help?”

Caller: “I’ve been charged £60 by you, and I’m not sure why.”

Me: “Okay, what does the bank charge say?”

Caller: “It’s [technology firm] service.”

Me: “Okay, that’s the name of a annual subscription we offer.”

Caller: “Oh. I think my husband has that, but I’m not sure.”

Me: “Well, can you check with him? We don’t want to cancel if he uses it.”

Caller: “Well, I’d like to ask him. But he died on Tuesday, so I can’t get in contact with him.”

Me: “I think we can probably cancel that for you.”

Related:
Zombies Need Healthcare Too
Zombies Need High Speed Internet Too

Concession Confession

| PA, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer approaches with a half empty bucket of popcorn.)

Customer: “Excuse, but this popcorn made me feel really sick.”

Me: “I am so sorry. Was it too salty?”

Customer: “I don’t know. What can you do for me?”

(The guest’s daughter, who looks about 8 years old, speaks up.)

Guest’s daughter: “Then why did you eat the whole thing and get a refill?”

Me: “I am sorry, but there really isn’t anything we can do for you.”

(The guest walks away, telling the little girl how she needs to keep quiet.)

Interior Design Supports Parental Decline

| Anaheim, CA, USA | Uncategorized

(It’s 9 pm and the hotel is sold out. A guest calls from the 8th floor. Note: our rooms have exterior entrances.)

Me: “Front desk, how can I help you?”

Guest: “I was wondering, do you had any rooms on a lower floor? My grandson is only two, but he can reach the safety lock. He keeps trying to go outside.”

Me: “The only rooms we have available tonight are on the 6th floor. I can set you up for a room transfer tomorrow, if you like?

Guest: “That would be great!”

Me: “I’ll look for one all the way to the ground floor. Is that okay?”

Guest: “That would be fine, thank you. I just don’t want my grandson getting outside, you know.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll go ahead and set you up for that. But just to let you know, the ground floor hasn’t been renovated yet. The room is going to be a little outdated. The renovation has only reached the 6th floor.”

Guest: “Oh really? You know what? Packing all my things up might be a little difficult. It’s okay, never mind!”

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