Making A Rash Decision

| VA, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I’d like a cinnamon crunch bagel with honey walnut cream cheese, and a cup of coffee.”

Customer’s sister: “What?!”

Customer: “I can handle it.”

Customer’s sister, to me: “She’s allergic to walnuts.”

Customer: “Yeah, but I’m not too allergic.”

Me: “Uhm..”

Customer: “I’ll just break out into a rash. I won’t die or anything. You don’t have to worry about that.”

Me: “I’m not so sure I—”

Customer: “It’s just so good. I can’t help it!”

Blind-siding Stereotypes

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Uncategorized

(I work at a start-up company in a very small office space that used to be a window shades store. We occasionally get people knocking on the door looking for the old business. A gentleman knocks on the door and I talk to him.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I bought these blinds, and they don’t fit my window.”

Me: “Oh, you’re at the wrong place. That was the last tenant. This isn’t a shade store anymore.”

Customer: “Oh, but in the phone book this is listed.”

Me: “I know. He hasn’t updated it. We’re not a shade shop. I hope you get help with your problem.”

Customer: “Well, you might be able to help. You’re a woman. Women put up blinds a lot.”

The Dog Isn’t The One That Needs To get Neutered, Part 2

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | Uncategorized

(We run a camp for dogs to play. We often let the owners know of bad dog behavior.)

Customer: “How did our dog do today?”

Me: “Well, sir, he did a lot of humping today.”

Customer: “Just like his dad.”

Customer’s wife: “Oh my God.”

Related:
The Dog Isn’t The One That Needs To Get Neutered

The Purchase Was A Pre-Medicated Decision

| Joliet, IL, USA | Uncategorized

(I am closing the pharmacy curtain. A customer comes up to the counter.)

Customer: “I need to pick up my prescription for my pain medication. I’m in a lot of pain.”

Me: “Okay. Just for future reference, the pharmacy closes at 9pm.”

Customer: “I know. I was too busy getting an iPhone to get here while you were open.”

It’s The End Of The World (As We Stole It)

| Upstate New York, USA | Religion

(I work for a telecommunications company doing tech support. It’s 5/20/11, the day before the supposed Rapture, and I am scheduling a work order.)

Me: “Now, sir, I have appointments open for the 21st. Would that work at all?”

Caller: “Well, yes, we should be around, unless we get Raptured. In that case, we might want to cancel it. Or, if we don’t, we might not want to cancel it. Not sure which one is the bigger problem.”

Me: “Sir, I do assure you we are well prepared for either eventuality–return of Christ or not. Now, barring Rapture, I have a 1 – 3 pm and 3 – 5 pm. Which would you’d prefer?”

Caller: “1 – 3 pm. If we don’t get Raptured, we want time for looting.”

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