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    Day Trippy

    | Wisconsin, USA |

    Me: “Good afternoon, ma’am. How many books of these stamps?”

    (As I ask the customer this, “Yellow Submarine” by the Beatles begins playing on a nearby radio.)

    Lady: “Oh my gosh! I love this song!”

    Me: “That’s great. Now, how many books of–”

    Lady: *begins to dance towards the door*

    Me: “Uh, okay ma’am, don’t forget your–”

    Lady: *dances out of post office, leaving her purse on the table and the rest of the customers confused*

    A Flock Of Explorers On A Safari Singing Opera

    | Wales, UK |

    Me: “Alright, so what browser are you using to view your websites?”

    Customer: “Mozzarella Firefox!”

    Atone For Sins, Make Peace With Maker, Close Phone Account

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA |

    Me: “How may I help you today?”

    Customer: “I’d like to close my account.”

    Me: “Well, I’m sorry to hear that, but I can assist you with that right here. May I ask why you’re closing your account today?”

    Customer: “What? You don’t know?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I don’t.”

    Customer: “It’s the Armageddon!”

    Me: “Uh, well, okay, ma’am, I’ll get your account closed right away… is there anything else I can do for you?”

    Customer: “Watch your back, young lady! You’ll see! The Armageddon’s coming, make no mistake!” *hangs up*

    This Barter Be A Good Deal

    , | Pennsylvania, USA |

    Me: “OK, so this suit will be $500.”

    Customer: “Oh wow – that’s way too much. Can you take the price down?”

    Me: “No sir, I can’t do anything about the price.”

    Customer: “Well…how about I give you my watch?”

    Me: “…are you serious? I can’t do that.”

    Customer: “How about my watch?”

    Me: “All right. You give me your watch, two of your daughters, a goat and a chicken, and the suit is yours.”

    Customer: “OK, deal!”

    (The customer walked out of the store. He never came back.)

    The Scenic Route Always Whets The Appetite

    | Dallas, TX, USA |

    (This lady called to place a to-go order. She gave me a phone number with an odd area code, but I didn’t think much of it until this part of the conversation…)

    Me: *on the phone* “All right, your total comes to $47.92 and it should be ready in 15 minutes. You know this is the store at **** and **** in front of the mall, right?”

    Caller: “What? I’ve never heard of those street names. How do I get there?”

    Me: “Well, if you can tell me the closest intersection to you, I can give you directions…”

    Caller: “I’m at **** and ****.”

    Me: “…ma’am, what city are you in?”

    Caller: “…Little Rock…”

    Me: “Arkansas?!”

    Caller: “What other state would I be in?”

    Me: “We’re in Texas. I’m thinking you’re going to want to order from a location closer to you.”

    Caller: “I don’t know. Where in Texas are you, exactly?”

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