Hang Ups Over Children

| Fremont, CA, USA | Family & Kids, Uncategorized

Me: “Hi, thank you for calling [Vet Clinic]. How can I help you today?”

(Note: the caller sounds around 4 years old. )

Caller: “Hello, is Aunt Betty there?”

Me: “I’m sorry, would you mind repeating that?”

Caller: “Can I speak to Aunt Betty?”

Me: “I’m sorry, you have the wrong number.”

Caller: “Oh, Okay.”

Me: “Bye!”

(I hang up. 10 seconds later, the phone rings again.)

Me: “Hi, thank you for calling [Vet Clinic], how can I help you today?”

Caller 2: “My niece just called here and must have got the wrong number.”

Me: *chuckling* “Yes she thought-”

Caller 2: “Well, next time don’t hang up on her!” *hangs up*

English Is Going Down (Under)

| Melbourne, Australia | Language & Words, Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, how are you?”

Customer: “What country are you from?”

Me: “England.”

Customer: “Oh, no wonder you don’t speak English properly.”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 2

| Duluth, MN, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Uncategorized

Me: “Your total is $152.37.”

(Customer begins to write out a deposit slip from the back of her chequebook.)

Me: “That’s a deposit slip, not a cheque.”

Customer: “Oh, so I can’t pay you with this?” *confused look*

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Oh, well take it out of this then.” *hands me a roll of cash* “But don’t take more that $75 out of there.”

Me: *takes $75 out of roll* “And how would you like to pay for the rest of this?”

Customer: “Umm…” *confused look* “I have to pay more?”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession

Funds Are Not The Only Thing Lacking Here

| Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Uncategorized

Me: “So, your total comes to $47.63.”

(The customer swipes their card.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it seems your card was declined.”

Customer: “Declined? Why?”

Me: “It says here because of ‘insufficient funds’.”

Customer: “But what does that even mean?”

It Captchas Del.icio.us Spam And Cookies

| Soderhamn, Sweden | Technology, Uncategorized

(I work for a well-known anti-virus company. An customer calls in to ask about the difference in her product and the other ones we carry.)

Caller: “So what about the cheapest one?”

Me: “It’s got the anti-virus protection, but it doesn’t protect you from net phishing.”

Caller: “I see, so what about the one that I’m using right now?”

Me: “Basically you’ve got both the anti-virus components and also a firewall, which is the recommended one for an average user.”

Caller: “Oh, I see. So the firewall will protect the computer from catching on fire?”

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