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    TMI Redux

    | Belgium |

    (An older woman in her 50s needed some help picking out a new MP3 player.)

    Me: “Okay, so you got any preferences?”

    Woman: “Well, do you have any that are waterproof?”

    Me: “Not really…”

    Woman: “I had one before, but it’s broken.”

    Me: “Oh, okay.”

    Woman: “Yeah, it was my own fault though, I think.”

    Me: “How come?”

    Woman: “Well, I put it in here–” *points and looks at her breasts* “–while I was at the gym. I guess I was sweating a bit too much!”

    Me: “…”

    Related:
    Way Too Much Information
    TMI (Too Much Information)

    One Loses His Allowance, The Other His Immortal Soul

    | Kane, PA, USA |

    (I was in high school working at a dollar store. It’s a small town so Sundays are usually busy after church services. This man, his wife, and his young son were in line.)

    Me: “That will be $25.30.”

    Man: “I’ve only got $15… we gave twenty at the offering today. You think you could give me a break?”

    Man’s young son: *innocently* “We didn’t give any money at church today.”

    The Joys Of Motherhood

    | Virginia, USA | Family & Kids, Top

    (A mom and little girl are waiting in line. I watch from a different line.)

    Little Girl: “Can I have this candy?”

    Mom: “No, put it back.”

    Little Girl: “But that’s not fair! That’s not fair!”

    Mom: “Cut that out!”

    Little Girl: *takes a deep breath and calms down, then turns to her mom* “I’m killing you. I’m going to kill you.”

    Mom: “…”

    While We’re At It, Here’s A Check For A Gazillion Bucks

    , | Indiana, USA | Top

    (My pizza place recently stopped accepting checks, due to a large number of returned checks.  We have a large sign in the lobby, and a smaller sign at the register.)

    Customer: “What?! ¬†I can’t write a check?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, we no longer accept checks. ¬†We simply get too many returned for insufficient funds.”

    Customer: ¬†”But I was going to write a check…”

    Me: ¬†”We accept credit cards, or you can use your debit card for that checking account.”

    Customer: ¬†”I can’t use my debit card! I don’t have enough money in my account!”

    (And THAT is why we no longer take checks!)

    Like A Spin Cycle, Round And Round

    | Nottingham, UK |

    Me: “Hello, welcome to PC support. How may I help?”

    Customer: “Hello, I just bought this washing machine.”

    Me: “Alright. You’ll have to call customer service. This is PC support. Call back on the same number you just dialed, select 2 in the first menu and then 3 in the second menu to get to customer service.”

    Customer: “Okay, transfer me to customer service.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I’m not able to do that. You will have to call back on the same number and select 2 in the first menu, 3 in the second.”

    Customer: “Can you give me the number to customer service?”

    Me: “It’s the same number you just called. Press 2 and then 3 in the menus.”

    Customer: “What happens if I press 2 now?”

    Me: “Well, I will get a beep in my ear and I dont like that. Please hang up and call back on the same number before pressing any keys.”

    Customer: “Hrmf!” *hangs up*

    (20 seconds later…)

    Me: “Hello, welcome to PC support. How may I help?”

    Customer: “Hello, I just bought this washing machine.”

    Me: *sigh*


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