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    Would You Like French Resistance Fries With That

    | Canberra, Australia |

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

    Elderly customer: “SIX OF THE ENEMY PLEASE!”

    Me: “… Sorry?”

    Elderly customer: “Six of the german frankfurts!”

    Me: “Oh, right…”

    Customer Of The Week: Non-Native Speaker

    | Sasketchewan, Canada | Old Comics

    Customer Of The Week: Non-Native Speaker
    Created by our friends at Quitting Time

    He Uses The Google

    A Sticky Proposition

    | Amsterdam, Holland |

    Me: “Would you like mayonnaise on your croquette?”

    Customer: “Yes, please… but not on the croquette itself. Do you have a cup or something?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Oh, well… just put it in my hand, then.”

    Me: “… Mayonnaise?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: ‘… in your hand?”

    Customer: “Yes, yes!”

    Me: “Are you sure?”

    Customer: Yes!”

    Me: *fills the customer’s hand with mayonnaise*

    Customer: “Thank you!” *smiles and leaves*

    Me, to my manager: “I need a break.”

    She Who Wears The Pants, Part 2

    | Calgary, Alberta, Canada |

    (I’m helping a couple check out at the front desk.)

    Me: “Okay, and how would you like to settle the bill?”

    Husband: “Put it on my card you have.”

    Wife: “No, put it on my credit card.” *hands me her credit card*

    Husband: “No! put it on my credit card!”

    Wife: “Don’t worry about him, just put it on mine.”

    Husband: *grabs wife’s credit card*

    Wife: “Fine, do what you want! I’m out of here!” *storms out of the hotel*

    (The husband runs out after his wife; 10 minutes passes by and he finally returns.)

    Husband, very quietly: “Put it on her card…”

    Related:
    She Who Wears The Pants

    Also seen on: Not Always Romantic.

    No Wonder We’re In A Financial Meltdown

    , | United Kingdom |

    (I sell insurance. Sometimes, bank managers will ring up with customers who are in the bank. In this case, the bank lady was doing all the talking because the woman was partly deaf.)

    Me: “Good morning, *** insurance, how can I help you?”

    Bank manager: “I’m with a lady who’d like a quote, please.”

    Me: “Yup, no problem. Could I speak to her briefly?”

    (I talk to the customer and get her permission for the bank manager to do the quote with her details.)

    Me: “Okay, can I take her surname, please?”

    Bank manager: “My surname or hers?”

    Me: “Hers, please…” *she gives it* “… and her date of birth?”

    Bank manager: “Mine, or hers?”

    Me: “Hers…” *she gives it* “… okay, and her postcode.”

    Bank manager: “Why do you want my postcode?”

    Me: “I don’t. I want her postcode. It’s her policy, so I need her details.”

    (You get the general idea. This continued, right up until the very end of the insurance quote.)

    Me: “So, the price for the year is ***.”

    Bank manager: “I’d have to pay that?!”

    Me: “…”


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