The Info Is There But Nothing Clicks

| Burbank, CA, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [pet store]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, do you guys carry [product]?”

Me: “No, but it’s really easy to find on the internet.”

Caller: “Oh. Do you have their number?”

Me: “A phone number for the internet?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “Just turn your computer on, and go online.”

Caller: “So, you don’t have their number?”

Me: “No, ma’am. Just go online.”

Caller: “Oh. Well, can I get a discount?”

Me: “You want a discount from us for a product we don’t carry?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Think On Your Feet

| Brighton, UK | Uncategorized

(A customer comes up to customer services.)

Customer: “I’d like to return these shoes.”

Me: “Okay, then.”

(I wait expectantly, but the customer does nothing.)

Me: “Where are they?”

Customer: “I’m still wearing them.”

Home Is Where The Brain Isn’t

| Long Island, NY, USA | Uncategorized

(A guest picks up the house phone in the hallway. The call goes directly to the front desk.)

Me: “Front desk, how may I help you?”

Guest: *confused and disappointed* “Oh. The sign said ‘house phone’. I thought it would…um…call my house.”

Me: *seriously dumbfounded*

Guest: “I guess not.” *click*

Failing The Bar

| Lancaster, England, UK | Uncategorized

(A customer is buying drinks for him and his friends.)

Me: “£12.60, please.”

Customer: “Can I put that on the tab?”

Me: “Sure, what name is the tab in?”

Customer: “I don’t care.”

A Gluten For Punishment

| AL, USA | Uncategorized

(A powerful storm has ripped through the state. The power has gone out. I have a rack of bread stuck in the oven with no way of removing it without power.)

Customer: “Do you have any hot bread?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. It’s stuck in the oven and the power is off.”

Customer: “Can’t you just open it?”

Me: “Not with the way our ovens rotate. There’s no way to get the bread off the rack.”

Customer: “Can’t you just reach in and grab one for me?”

Me: “Not without horribly burning myself.”

Customer: “Would you mind trying?”

Page 1,801/2,742First...1,7991,8001,8011,8021,803...Last