Getting Pea’d Off Is A Bad Sign

| Poulsbo, WA, USA | Uncategorized

(Because of a food shortage due to weather, we are required by management to cut back on our vegetables. In front of our veggie selection is a sign explaining the situation.)

Customer: “This piece of paper is in the way. I can’t see some of your veggies. Can you take it down?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m not allowed to remove or alter any signs posted by my manager. We have a list of all the veggies we offer here.”

(I point to our veggies list, which is right next to it.)

Customer: “Why are you being so skimpy with the veggies? It’s not like you don’t have more.”

Me: “Actually, our supply is very limited right now due to our shortage of produce.”

Customer: “You need to have a sign explaining this.”

Me: “We do. It’s the piece of paper you wanted me to move.”

Customer: “No one is going to see that!”

Congra-duh-lations

| Chattanooga, TN, USA | Top

(A customer comes to pick up her cake. I hand it to her and she starts to laugh.)

Customer: “You’ve spelled this wrong, honey.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I can fix it for you right away. How do you spell the name?”

Customer: “The name is right. It’s ‘Congratulations’ you’ve spelled wrong.”

(I look at the cake but see no error.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t see a mistake.”

Customer: “Right here. You’ve spelled it with a ‘t’ instead of a ‘d’. It’s okay. You can just give me a discount and I’ll go on with it.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I’m not authorized to give discounts.”

Customer: “I want to speak to the manager.”

(Long story short, we ended up having to find a dictionary to prove I had spelled it right. She didn’t get a discount.)

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 13

| NJ, USA | Uncategorized

(I am taking an order from a customer.)

Me: “I have a credit card on file for you. It is a card ending in 4312. Should we use that one?”

Caller: “I have no idea whose card that is, so charge that one.”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 11
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 10
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 9
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 8
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 7
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 6
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 5
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 4
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 3
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 2
This Is Why We’re In A Recession

Attack Of The O’Hooligans

, | Foley, AL, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Excuse me, are you the manager?

Me: “Yes. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I want to complain about your employee in the jewelry department. She’s a hooligan!”

Me: “Well, what did she do?”

Customer: “Her hair is green!”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s just for St. Patrick’s Day.”

Customer: “I don’t care! It’s unprofessional and rebellious! It probably means she’s in a gang!”

Me: “Very well. I’ll talk with her.”

(The associate and I have a good laugh over it. She comes in the next day with her ordinary brown hair. The customer happens to come in, too.)

Customer: “Oh, your hair is brown! I’m glad I was able to help you get reformed from your rebellious ways!”

Their Business Days Are Numbered

| American Fork, UT, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling! Can I have your customer ID number, please?”

Caller: “I don’t have that. Can I give you the business name?”

Me: “Do you have your program open? I can actually tell you how to find your customer ID number.”

Caller: “No, but I have the address.”

Me: “Do you have the phone number by chance? That usually brings it up.”

Caller: “No, but I have the customer number. Will that help?”

Me: “Yes, the customer number would be very helpful…”

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