Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Bigotry Comes In All Shapes And Sizes
    (1,907 thumbs up)
  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    We Just Report The News

    | Jackson, TN, USA |

    (Our newspaper always gets strange calls. After one story I wrote about first aid training at the Red Cross, I get the following call from a reader…)

    Me: “Hello, [newspaper]. How may I help you?”

    Reader: “Yeah, I’m here at the Red Cross.”

    Me: “… okay?”

    Reader: “They just told me the first aid class you wrote about is full.”

    Me: “Oh, okay.”

    Reader: *silence*

    Me: “Sir? What’s the problem?”

    Reader: “Well, I have a friend who really needs to get into this class, but they said it’s full!”

    Me: “I’m so sorry, sir.”

    Reader: “Well?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Reader: “Well, what are you going to do about it? Can’t you tell them to add a seat to the class?”

    Me: “Umm, no, sir. I’m just a reporter. I can’t tell the Red Cross what to do. I’m sorry your friend can’t get in the class in time.”

    Reader: “Well, what is he supposed to do? He needs the training now!”

    Me: “Well, I believe the hospital teaches a first aid class.”

    Reader: “They do? Can you call them for me?”

    Me: “No, sir, I’m afraid I have a tight deadline today. I can’t take the time to look into that. Maybe you could call your friend and tell him?”

    Reader: *sarcastically* “Yeah, whatever. Thanks for your help.”

    Bad Customer Tip #103: Pull A Clark Kent

    , | Buenos Aires, Argentina | Top

    (A man on his mid-forties shoves a DVD case on the counter, while yelling at me. Keep in mind that I’m wearing glasses.)

    Customer: “This DVD doesn’t work, G** D***it! I want a refund!”

    Me: “Okay… what seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “I don’t know, it doesn’t work!”

    (I open the case and check the surface of the DVD. It was so scratched that it was nearly white instead of purple, and it even had a dry fingerprint of something that looked like peanut butter.)

    Me: “Um… sir?”

    Customer: “WHAT?!”

    Me: “I can’t give you a refund for a product that has been damaged by the customer.”

    Customer: What?! The disc is fine! I want a refund!”

    Me: “Sir, the disc is damaged, and I cannot give you a refund.”

    Customer: “I want to speak to the manager!”

    Me: “Of course.”

    (I walk away to the back of the store, take off my glasses, and walk to the counter again.)

    Me: “Yes, what is the problem?”

    Customer: “YOUR POOR EXCUSE FOR A SALESMAN WON’T–”

    (He suddenly figures it out.)

    Customer: “F*** THIS S***!” *continues swearing while he storms out of the store*

    Back In My Day, We Walked Barefoot, Backwards And Buck Naked

    | Everett, WA, USA |

    (Keep in mind that our bookstore only sells books, CDs and DVDs: no electronics, no rentals or software.)

    Coworker: “Good morning, what can I help you find?”

    Old Customer: “I need a keyboard for that computer thing.”

    Coworker: “We don’t sell keyboards, I’m sorry. Have you tried Best Buy across the parking lot?”

    Old Customer: “But I don’t want to go over there, I want to buy it here!”

    Coworker: “Sorry, I don’t have any to sell you. We don’t carry computer parts.”

    (The customer proceeds to get worked up into a fine fury, face blotched red and pulled up to her full height.)

    Old Customer: “Well, I never! In my day, you could walk into any store, anywhere, and by God if they wanted your business they would FIND it for you!” *storms out*

    Eavesdropping manager: “Well, in her day, everything was a general store!”

    The Inadvertent Thief

    | Northern Ireland, UK | Top

    Lady: “Do you sell aloe vera gel?”

    Me: “No, I’m afraid we don’t, but you might be able to get it at [store] down the street.”

    Lady: “Oh, great, thanks.”

    (She leaves and ten minutes later returns wielding a tube, looking irritated.)

    Me: “Hello again, did you manage to find it okay?”

    Lady: “No! You told me they had aloe vera gel! All they had is the cream! I don’t want the cream!”

    Me: “Um… you didn’t want the cream but you bought it anyway?”

    Lady: “No, of course I didn’t BUY–”

    (She suddenly stops and looks at the tube in her hand. Her expression turns to horror and she legs it back out the door. My coworkers and I laughed for a good ten minutes at that one.)

    And Yet He Lives With A Nut

    | Barrie, ON, Canada |

    (A customer with her toddler comes into the store while I’m working on another customer’s order.)

    Customer: “I want to know if your peanut butter cookies have nuts in them.”

    Me: “Yes, yes they do.”

    Customer: “Oh, well my son is allergic to nuts. Do you have any that don’t have nuts?”

    Me: “You could try the oatmeal raisin.”

    Customer: “No, he doesn’t like raisins.” *picks up a different cookie*

    Me: “Um, those are white chocolate macadamia nut, which also have nuts in them.”

    Customer: “Well do you have anything that is nut-free here?!”

    Me: “We have cakes with fruit in them, muffins, bagels, croissants and scones. Would he like those?”

    Customer: “You people don’t care about my child!” *storms out of the store, child in tow*

    Me, to coworker: “How is he still alive?”

    Coworker: *shrugs*


    Page 1,799/1,967First...1,7971,7981,7991,8001,801...Last