Downgraded Membership

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Uncategorized

(Note: I’m 19 and go to college.)

Customer: “Oh, I think you have class with my daughter, Kayla.”

Me: “I don’t think I know her. What year is she?”

Customer: “10th.”

Me: “Huh?”

Customer: “10th grade.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m in college.”

Customer: “Sure you are, sweetie.” *winks*

Whipped For The Cream

| MD, USA | Top

(A male customer comes into my cafe and spends five minutes staring at the baked goods before finally coming up to order.)

Customer: “Well, there’s no manly way to say this: I want a cream puff.”

Her Banking Days Are Numbered

| OH, USA | Uncategorized

Caller: “Why does the automated system say it can’t find my card!? I’ve been complaining about this for months now, and I’m really disappointed it isn’t fixed!”

Me: “Sorry to hear that. Let me see what I can find. Can I have your card number, please?”

(The caller reads off 12 numbers.)

Me: “And the last 4?”

Caller: “Oh! You need all 16? Do you suppose that’s why it couldn’t find my account?”

Pay Up, Shot Down

| Kildare, Ireland | Uncategorized

(I’ve just finished ringing up a customer’s purchase and his total is €1.69.)

Me: “Ok, that’ll be one sixty-nine please.”

Customer: *giggles* “That’s what she said.”

Customer’s girlfriend: “You wish.”

Stranger In A Sweet Land

| FL, USA | Top

Me: “Hello, can I help you find anything today?”

Customer: “I’m looking for this movie. It was a funny movie and it is fairly new.”

Me: “Okay, can you tell me who is in it?”

Customer: “That fat guy from Superbad?”

Me: “Is it this movie?” *I pick up ‘Get him to the Greek’*

Customer: “Yeah! Thanks! Have a piece of candy.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I put the candy in my pocket, and walk to the counter to ring him up.)

Me: “Have a nice day!”

Customer: “You have a nice smile. You know what you win?”

Me: “No. What do I win?”

Customer: “A better piece of candy!”

(He hands me another piece of candy and walks out swinging his bag.)

Manager, to me: “Don’t eat that candy. It’s stranger candy.”

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