(Sundays are our busiest days for trades at our video game store. Six people are in line at my register, and the only other employee is on the floor fielding customer questions.)
Me: “Thank you for calling . How can I help you?”
Caller: "I’d like to get trade-in prices for some games I have."
Me: "No problem. We’re a bit busy in store right now, though, so I’ll only be able to give you prices on three trades over the phone. Any more, and you’ll have to come in to the store."
Caller: “Bull! It’s 1 PM on a Sunday. No way you have that many customers."
Me: *holding phone towards customers waiting in line* "Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to the man who doesn’t think you’re here."
Me: "Any other questions, sir?"
(I am checking out a customer and taking their details.)
Me: “Ma’am, what is your street name?”
Customer: “I don’t really have one of those. I usually just go by Shanice.”
Me: “Uh, ma’am, I meant the street name where you live.”
Customer: “Oh, I knew that!”
Source: Pope Michael
Customer: *hands me a printer* "Is this all I need to print? My last printer broke."
Me: "No, ma’am. You still have to purchase ink and a printer cable for it."
Customer: *grabs random ink off shelf* "Okay, here we go."
Me: "You have to get the specific brand and number listed on the box."
Customer: "Oh, well, normally you can just mix and match. I’m new to this web 2.0 nonsense but I think I know a little about setting up a printin’ machine!"
Caller: “I have a question about my account.”
Me: “I’d be happy to help! What email address do you use to log in?”
Caller: “It’s rogue@[email host].com.”
Me: “Sorry sir, I can’t seem to find that email in the system. To confirm, let me spell out the full address: r-o-g-u-e@[email host].com?”
Caller: “No, it’s *****r-o-u-g-e!”
Me: “Oh, “rouge” like the makeup. The word “rogue” is spelled r-o-g-u-e.”
Caller: “That’s not how “rogue” is spelled! I can’t believe how stupid your customer service is!”
Me: “If you want to be sure, you can check a dictionary for the correct spelling.”
Caller: “Fine, I will! I’m going to search dictionary.com right now!”
(A minute passes as he searches.)
Caller: “F***! I’ve been using this email for years! I can’t believe my guild members never pointed this out to me!” *hangs up*
Me: “Hi, how are you?”
Customer: “You look like a serial killer!”
Me: “Um… I’m sorry?”
Customer: “Yeah, you look exactly like you’ve killed a someone, then locked them in your basement. But maybe that’s just the kind of person you look like. I don’t know, I’m not here to judge.”