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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Mom In A Thong: Wrong

    | Santa Cruz, CA, USA |

    Me: “Ma’am, you’re not allowed to have non-service dogs in the store unless you’re holding them.”

    Woman: “Oh, I know.”

    Me: “Well… I am going to have to ask you to keep the dog in your arms while you’re shopping.”

    Woman: “That’s fine. I just had to readjust my thong.”

    Woman’s young daughter: “MOM!!!!”

    Woman: “What? I wanted him to know.”

    Related:
    Way Too Much Information

    Talk To The Click

    | Clermont-Ferrand, France |

    (Having moved, I got a new phone number which previously belonged to a retail store in Clermont-Ferrand. I had already had a few calls for that store, so I knew the drill.)

    Woman: “Hello, is this ***? I would like to know until when you are open.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, you dialed a wrong number. *** doesn’t have this number anymore. I’m pretty sure they closed.”

    Woman: “That’s not my problem! You didn’t answer my question. When do they close?”

    Me: “No, seriously, you’re calling me at home here. I’m sure that if you look in the yellow pa–”

    Woman: “Now look here, young man! I don’t have all day. Do you live in Clermont-Ferrand?”

    Me: “Well, actually I do, but–”

    Woman: “THEN TELL ME WHEN *** CLOSES! GO LOOK IT UP OR SOMETHING!”

    Me: “Seriously?”

    Woman: *calmly* “Yes.”

    Me: “I’m hanging up now.”

    Woman: “WHAT? DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE TALKING TO–”

    Me: *click*

    Aaaa-men, Brotha

    | Kansas City, MO, USA |

    (When I was a teenager I worked in a skateboard shop in the mall. I was working with my buddy and we see a loud, filthy group of guys coming down the hall towards our store.)

    Loud, filthy customer #1: ¬†”You guys sell hackie sacks, the kind with sand in ‘em?”

    Me: ¬†”Yup, right there.” *pointing*

    Loud, filthy customer #2: “What’s the return policy?”

    Me: “Thirty days with a receipt.”

    Loud, filthy customer #2: ¬†”So, if I shoot this hackie sack with mah sawed-off 12-gauge and run it over in mah truck, you’ll still take it back?¬†HAW HAW!”

    Me: ¬†”Heh, no. Thanks, guys.”

    (They leave. All the while, my coworker has been there, arms crossed, not moving an inch, with a cold, dead, angry stare.)

    Coworker: ¬†”Cousins need to STOP f***ing.”

    (I’d never laughed so hard in my life.)

    Retail Defender, AntiCheapskate Edition

    , | Chicago, IL, USA | Awesome Customers, Top

    (I work in a large electronics retail chain. A guy asks me to find the latest version of Norton AntiVirus for him, which I do. He takes a look at the price and starts yelling about how outrageous it is ($100.00 US).)

    Guy: “What the h***? How can you people get away with this? This is a scam!”

    Me: “Sir, I can suggest another type of protection if this one is too expensive…”

    Guy: “No way! This is the one I want, but I’m not paying this.”

    Me: “Sir I–”

    Guy: “I bet I can find it online for much cheaper. Heck, even free! ”

    Me: “Sir, I think that–”

    Guy: “That’s what I’ll do… I’ll find it for free online! Better than this s***!”

    (A young woman nearby is listening and speaks up.)

    Woman: “Yeah, you can find it online, for free.”

    Guy: “Really, where? Tell me!”

    Woman: “L****party.org.” (Warning: This is a disturbing porn site that I would not recommend viewing.)

    Guy: “Thanks!” *turns back to me, smirking* “Ha, guess I won’t be spending any money on this s***!”

    Me, to the girl: “That… was awesome.”

    Woman: “Well, an a**hole like that deserves it. I figured that you couldn’t tell him that without getting fired.”

    (The young woman gets a free gift card; that guy never comes back. I still wonder what went through his mind when the site popped up.)

    In One Ear, Out The Other

    | Dewey Beach, DE, USA |

    (I work at a restaurant that has two different sides to it: a fine dining side, and a casual side. I work at the casual side. One day at work, a very confused woman calls.)

    Me: “Hi! Thank you for calling [restaurant]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Hi, is this the fine dining side?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. This is the grille and bar side. Would you like the number to our fine dining section?”

    Customer: “No, I like the casual side more.”

    Me: “Oh, good.”

    Customer: “So can I have the number for the casual side?”

    Me: “This is the casual side, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Yes, but I would like the number. The fine dining aspect doesn’t fit well with my family.”

    Me: “Okay, well, this is the casual side. Whatever number you dialed is our number, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Yes, but I don’t like fine dining! Give me the number to your casual side!”

    Me: “This is our casual side. You have our number because you dialed it.”

    Customer: “I DON’T LIKE F***ING FINE DINING! I JUST WANT THE NUMBER TO THE CASUAL SIDE. IS THAT SO HARD? I’M GOING SOMEWHERE ELSE FOR DINNER!” *hangs up*

    Me: “…”


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