Savior This Customer

| Louisville, KY, USA | Uncategorized

(I am checking out an elderly customer.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am. You’re all set to go. Have a wonderful day!”

Customer: “You too. And keep Jesus close to you. He’s coming back, you know! Coming back to get all of us!”

No ID, No Idea, Part 7

| WV, USA | Uncategorized

(A young man and two young women approach the lane with several bottles of wine. They are carded. The man is old enough to buy, but the girls aren’t.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t sell to you.”

Customer: “Why not? I’m over 21!”

Me: “But they’re not.”

Customer: “They’re not the ones buying. I am!”

Me: “Then why did you bring them in with you?”

Customer: “Because I didn’t know what kind they liked.”

Related:
No ID, No Idea, Part 6
No ID, No Idea, Part 5
No ID, No Idea, Part 4
No ID, No Idea, Part 3
No ID, No Idea, Part 2
No ID, No Idea

The Goblet Of Law Suits

| Reno, NV, USA | Uncategorized

(I am talking to an older customer. This is a few years ago.)

Customer: “How many Harry Potter movies are out?”

Me: “They just came out with the fourth one. I can’t wait for the next book though.”

Customer: “Oh. Won’t the movie industry be mad that they are making the book before the movie? It will spoil everything.”

I Have Lost A Dream

| Raleigh, NC, USA | Uncategorized

Lost customer: “Excuse me, sir. I’m lost. Can you help me, please?”

Me: “Sure. What are you looking for?”

Lost customer: “I’m looking for Milkjer Blvd.”

Me: “I’ve never heard of it.”

Lost customer: “Yeah, it’s a weird spelling. But it’s clearly Milkjer Blvd.”

Me: “Can I see your directions?”

Lost customer: “Sure. See, it’s spelled M-L-K-J-r Blvd.”

Getting Ham-pered

| Memphis, TN, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer walks over to my counter and asks if he left his shopping basket after he paid.)

Me: *jokingly* “Not unless you only bought expired ham, sir.”

Customer: “Could I have that expired ham?”

Me: “No, sir. We have to log it and throw it out.”

Customer: “Well, if you’re just going to throw it out, can I have it?”

Me: “No, sir. I have to take it out to the dumpster.”

Customer: “Well, what if I watch where you throw it out, and then take it?”

Me: “That would be stealing.”

Customer: “Well, could I just buy it, then?”

Me: “No, that would be a liability. We could sell you some fresh ham, if you like.”

Customer: “But I don’t want fresh ham!”

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