• Gloating About Gluten
    (1,548 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    When (Not) In Rome

    | Boston, MA, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

    Me: “Thanks for calling [executive car company]. How can I help you?”

    Caller:“I need to make a reservation.”

    Me: “Sure where is the pick up?”

    Caller: “A hotel called the George V?” *she pronounces it like the letter ‘V’* “It’s in Paris, France.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    Caller: “Oh, wait. It’s called the hotel five!”

    Me: “That makes sense, since the V must be a roman numeral.”

    Caller: “Yeah, V must mean 5 in French. It was confusing to me and you because we are English.”

    Me: “Haha, yeah. That must be it…”

    Stuck In Retail H***

    | Westfield, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Religion, Uncategorized

    Me: “Hello, how are you today?”

    Customer: “I’m rich with the love of the Lord.”

    (The customer places a pamphlet about religion on the register in front of me.)

    Me: “Oh…I’m sorry, but I’m not interested. Thank you.”

    Customer: “That is exactly why you need it. Sin is everywhere.”

    (I finish bagging the items and place the pamphlet in her bag.)

    Me: “Thank you. Enjoy the rest of your day!”

    Customer: “Go to h***!”

    Waiter Hater

    | Dallas, TX, USA | Food & Drink, Spouses & Partners, Uncategorized

    (A man and his girlfriend walk in to our restaurant.)

    Me: “Hello, and welcome to [restaurant]. I’ll be your server tonight.”

    Customer: “Yeah. What happened to your nose?”

    (I instinctively touch my nose to feel if anything is wrong with it.)

    Customer: “Gotcha! I made you touch your nose.”

    Me: “Yes, very amusing sir. Now may I interest you in–”

    Customer: “You’re zipper is undone.”

    Me: “Oh, but I’m not wearing pants with a zipper.”

    Customer: “But you probably didn’t notice your pants are split open!”

    Customer’s girlfriend: “I’m sorry, I should have just left him at home with a bowl of kibble and water.”

    Managers Are Used To Spot Checks

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque, Uncategorized

    (Our tea shop closes at 9pm. The time is currently 9:10. There is one couple and their child still in the store. I am cleaning the bathroom. The customer opens the bathroom door.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, I’m cleaning this bathroom.”

    Customer: “But my son has to go.”

    Me: “I’m using bleach, it’s very dangerous here. I can’t let you use the bathroom.”

    Customer: “But my son has to go!”

    Me: “I can’t let you use it. We’re already closed and I have to finish cleaning.”

    Customer: *to another employee* “Your crazy cleaning lady won’t let my son use the bathroom. Can I speak to your manager?”

    Co-worker: “That was the manager.”

    (The customer silently grabs his wife and son and walks out without another word.)

    Peppering The Truth With Lies

    | Hinton, WV, USA | Food & Drink, Uncategorized

    Customer: “Can I get a peppermint tea please?”

    Me: “Okay, what size of mint tea would you like?”

    Customer: “I want a large and I want a peppermint tea. Not a mint tea.”

    Me: “They are both the same thing.”

    Customer: “No they aren’t! Peppermint tea has pepper in it!”

    Page 1,794/2,508First...1,7921,7931,7941,7951,796...Last