Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Bagged Himself A Steal
    (2,255 thumbs up)
  • August Theme Of The Month: We Are Closed!
    Submit your story today!

    I Say Tomato, You Say Purple Shtinkelfurter

    | Leeds, UK |

    Customer: “Hey, do you have any of them Red Rushkies?”

    Coworker: “Sorry?”

    Customer: “You know, Red Rushkies?”

    Coworker: “Err… no, I’m sorry. I don’t think we stock those.”

    Customer: “Yeah you do, I buy them here all the time! Where are they?”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry, we don’t have anything called ‘Red Rushkies’ here.”

    Customer: *sighs* “I’ll find them myself.”

    (There’s a pause of a few minutes, and then the customer comes back with a bag of raw peanuts.)

    Customer: “There you go!”

    Coworker: “Oh! Peanuts?”

    Customer: “Yeah! That’s what I said!”

    Jonesin’ For Some Pepperoni

    , | British Columbia, Canada |

    (An older lady called in to comment about the sauce of one of our most popular pizzas.)

    Customer: “It’s as though you people put crack in it!”

    Me: *laughs* “It is pretty good…”

    Customer: “So, do you?”

    Me: “Do we… what?”

    Customer: “Put crack in it.”

    Me: “…are you asking if we put cocaine in our pizza sauce?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “No. I’m pretty sure they stopped putting drugs like that into food and medicine by the 1940s.”

    Customer: “Oh. Really? Because it would explain a lot. I just can’t stop eating this pizza!”

    Stairway To Nowhere

    | Pleasant Hill, CA, USA |

    Customer: “Excuse me, but I can’t seem to find the stairs to your second floor.”

    Me: “Ah, well ma’am, that’s probably because we don’t have a second floor.”

    Customer: “Yes you do, I’ve shopped here for 5 years. I’ve been to your second floor several times. If you look at this store from the outside, you can see that it’s big enough to house a second floor.”

    Me: “But there are no windows to show the second floor. No ma’am, we have that high ceiling instead. We never had a second floor.

    Customer: “YES YOU DO! Now stop screwing around with me and tell me where it is!”

    Manager: *overhearing this conversation* “Ma’am, I’ve worked here since our store opened 10 years ago. We’ve NEVER had a second floor.”

    Customer: “You’re lying! Tell me where the stairs are or I’m going to report your behavior to your corporate offices!”

    On The Politically Proper Placement of Puzzles

    , | Mesa, AZ, USA |

    Customer: “THIS STORE IS RACIST! YOU ARE RACIST!”

    Me: *confused* “Um… why?”

    Customer: “Your Native American puzzles are on the bottom shelf! I demand to speak to your manager!

    Me: “Okay, go ahead. I’m the manager on duty.”

    Customer: “This is an insult to me that your Native American puzzles are on the lower shelf. This is racism!”

    Me: “So, I’m a racist because the Native American puzzles are on the bottom shelf…”

    (I look at the shelf and notice some animal puzzles on the very bottom shelf.)

    Me: “Well, I hope PETA doesn’t find these puppy puzzles down here then.”

    Customer: *storms off*

    Coming Soon: Laptop Loofas

    , | Philadelphia, PA, USA |

    Customer #1: “This cell phone doesn’t work anymore. I want you to replace it.”

    Me: “When did it stop working?”

    Customer #1: “After I brought it in the shower.”

    Me: “If it got wet, it’s probably not going to work at all, and it won’t be covered by the warranty.”

    Customer #1: “I don’t understand. If it doesn’t work anymore, you’re supposed to replace it. It should work in the shower.”

    Me: “Well, no. Like any piece of electronics, it’s not going to work if you get it wet. Would you bring your laptop in the shower?”

    Customer #2: *interjecting* “I bring my laptop into the shower all the time.”

    Me: *facepalm*


    Page 1,793/2,092First...1,7911,7921,7931,7941,795...Last