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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Grand Opening: Not Always Right Store

    | Tshirts, buttons and stickers |

    Announcing the official Not Always Right store

    We interrupt your daily reading for a special announcement: The official Not Always Right store is now open and stocked with funny tees, stickers, buttons and other goodies! The store helps pay for hosting costs, plus it’s a great way to get the word out about your favorite blog (*cough* this one).

    PS: Free Shipping until 7/20 with orders $65 and over, code: FREESUMMER.

    Singleminded Surcharge

    | Madison, WI, USA |

    (I work in an electrical department. At this time, a woman is looking at a light display.)

    Me: “Are you finding everything alright?”

    Customer: “Yes. Where is this?”

    (I lead her to the box, on an end cap. It’s a two-fixtures-for-the-price-of-one thing.)

    Customer: “Oh, there’s two in there…”

    Me: “Yes. But the price is the same as on the display, so you get an extra for spare parts or whatever.”

    Customer: “Well, I only want one!”

    Me: “You can always just sell the spare on a garage sale or something. Or if you’re like me, you might break the glass someday and so you’ll have a spare.”

    Customer: “I only want one!”

    Me: “…”

    (The customer proceeded to pick out a nearly-identical looking fixture that was about three times the price–all because she only wanted one.)

    Even Customers Have A Stupid Quota

    | Texas, USA |

    Customer: “What time is tax assistance here?”

    Me: “They are here on Tuesdays and Thursdays, from 12 to 2 o’clock.”

    Customer: “Okay, so they’re here Tuesday through Thursday, from 12 to 2 o’clock?”

    Me: “No sir, only on Tuesday and Thursday.”

    Customer: “Okay, Tuesday and Thursday, all day long?”

    Me: “No sir, only from noon until 2.”

    Customer: “So, you’re telling me that they are here from noon to 2?”

    Me: ¬†”Yes.”

    Customer: “And that’s on Mondays and Tuesdays?”

    Me: “No, sir… ”

    (Before I can say anything further, the person behind him explodes…)

    Another customer: “It’s here on Tuesday and Thursday from 12 to 2! I don’t even know what the @#$% you are asking about, but I’ve figured out what time it happens! What the @#$% is wrong with you?!”

    Customer: *slinks away*

    Related:
    Even Bosses Have A Stupid Quota, Part 3
    Even Bosses Have A Stupid Quota, Part 2
    Even Bosses Have A Stupid Quota

    Who’s Got The Power Now

    , | Los Angeles, CA, USA |

    Me: “How can I help you?”

    Irate Caller: “Yes, I just purchased one of your wireless routers and your stupid tech support in India just told me I have to plug it into an outlet.”

    Me: “Uh… yes, ma’am. It needs to be plugged into an outlet to get electrical power.”

    Irate Caller: “I purchased a WIRELESS router, so it shouldn’t require wires! Doesn’t it use batteries or something?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, ‘wireless’ means you don’t need wires between the computer and the router.”

    Irate Caller: “Wireless means WIRE-LESS! If this thing has to be plugged in with a wire, I want a full refund!”

    Me: “If the product isn’t what you expected, I suggest you return the device to your local retailer.”

    Irate Caller: “NO! That’s not good enough! They won’t take it back because it’s been opened! I want you to give me a refund!”

    Me: “Ma’am, we don’t provide refunds unless a product’s functionality is grossly misadvertised. You need to speak to–”

    Irate Caller: “NO! You’ll give me a refund right now you f***ing son of a b**** and you’ll do it right f***ing now!”

    Me: “Ma’am, throwing a temper tantrum like a five year old is not going to get you something that we’re incapable of giving you.”

    Irate Caller: “You can’t speak to me like that! Transfer me to your manager at once!”

    Me: “No.”

    Irate Caller: “What?”

    (Contrary to popular belief, most companies don’t REQUIRE techs to transfer to supervisors simply because they’re told to by a customer).

    Me: “I said no. I will not transfer you to my supervisor. This is a non-escalatable issue.”

    Irate Caller: “But you have to!”

    Me: “No, I really don’t, and since you already blasted me with profanity, technically I could have disconnected the call already.”

    Irate Caller: “Well, I’m sorry… can I have my refund now?”

    Me: “I told you, I can’t give you a refund for this product. You need to contact your retailer.”

    Irate Caller: “F*** you! You f***ing ****ards are ripping me the f*** off! F*** you!”

    Me: “Thank you for contacting tech support and have a nice day!”

    Irate Caller: “Wait! I’m sorry!”

    Me: *click*

    One Coffee Conflagration, Coming Right Up

    | Staten Island, NY, USA | Food & Drink, Top

    Customer: “I’d like a venti latte made with organic milk. It has to be organic milk.”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we don’t have organic milk in this store.”

    Customer: “Why the h*** not? It says that you do on the menu!”

    Coworker: “Well, our customers here rarely order drinks made with organic milk, so we don’t stock it.”

    Customer: “Why don’t you have it?! I cannot drink my latte if it isn’t made with organic milk!”

    Coworker: “If it’s that important to you, we can make your drink with soy, which is organic.”

    Customer: “NO! NO! NO! Soy milk is disgusting! Regular milk is disgusting! I should be able to get what I WANT when I come here! It is imperative that I have my g**d*** latte made with organic milk!”

    (They go back and forth like this for several more minutes as the line behind her grows longer and more impatient, while my friend is desperately trying to appease her with our milk options. Suddenly, the customer’s friend seems to finally have run out of patience…)

    Customer: “I NEED it to be ORGANIC!”

    Customer’s friend: *suddenly loud* “Why? So you can stand outside and drink your d*** organic latte while smoking your organic cigarettes? They don’t have it! Drop it already and get something else!”


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