• Holy Guacamole, Get Off The Phone!
    (1,521 thumbs up)
  • May Theme Of The Month: Movie Mayhem!

    Hopefully, Acts Of God Are Covered

    | Puyallup, WA, USA | Uncategorized

    Me: “Would you like to get a protection plan? Just in case anything happens to your GPS.”

    Customer: “No, I’ll just pray over it. The blood of Jesus is the best protection there is.”

    Use Of Technology Is Undeveloped

    | San Antonio, TX, USA | Uncategorized

    (A customer brings in an SD card. He wants to transfer the files onto a CD.)

    Customer: “Miss, how many photos can I put on a CD?”

    Me: “It depends on the size of the files.”

    Customer: “4×6 inches. They’re all the same. I just want to know how many will go on one CD.”

    Me: “That’s a print size, not a file size. We can usually fit between 200 and 400 photos onto a single CD.”

    Customer: “No. It should always be the same. There’s only one size of picture!”

    Me: “No, sir. It can change depending on the camera settings. A high-resolution picture will take up more information space, even if it’s physically the same size.”

    Customer: “Don’t you go throwing all that fancy computer talk around. I just want to put these on a CD, as plain old 4×6 pictures. I don’t want any computers involved!”

    This Game Has Been Well Trade

    | NM, USA | Uncategorized

    (I’m ringing up a customer for his game trade-in. It’s a rather old game.)

    Me: “Alright. You’ll be getting $5 store credit, or $3 cash.”

    Customer: “What! I paid $50 for that game 4 years ago!”

    Me: “Yes, but it’s a little scratched. A few sequels have also come out since then.”

    Customer: “I want at least $30 for it.”

    Me: “If you were a customer, would you pay $30 for this old game?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Then why would you expect anyone else to?”

    (The customer stares at me dumbfounded. He then asks for his $3.)

    The Pen Is Mightier Than The Brain

    | Reston, VA, USA | Top

    Me: “Thank you for calling tech support. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I would like to change my desktop background. Can you help me?”

    Me: “Sure, no problem. Are you on your desktop?”

    Customer: “Yes, I am.”

    Me: “Okay, I would like you to right click on the desktop.”

    Customer: “You want me to right click?”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    Customer: “Nothing is happening.”

    Me: “That’s odd. Well, right click again. Let’s see if anything happens.”

    Customer: “Nope, still nothing.”

    Me: “Okay, let me come over to your desk. I will try to see what’s going on.”

    (I walk over to the user’s desk. As I approach, I notice the user wrote the word ‘click’ twice on the monitor with a sharpie.)

    Guess Who Got The Lion’s Share Of The Stupid

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Uncategorized

    (I am making my rounds in the Africa area. An American couple is standing in front of the lion compound. There is a clear sign stating it is an African lion.)

    Tourist #1: “Excuse me, what animal is this?”

    Me: “That would be a lion, ma’am.”

    Tourist #2: “Oh, yes. We have them in Utah!”

    Me: “Actually, sir, you have mountain lions in Utah. Not African lions.”

    Tourist #1: “Then you should tell someone that mountain lions shouldn’t be in the Africa section!”

    Page 1,790/2,665First...1,7881,7891,7901,7911,792...Last