CONTENT WARNING: Sexual Language

Our library is being represented at our city pride parade. We have a kiosk at the pride celebration site and we’re offering library memberships and card gained with a simple form plus advertising the fact that we host drag queen reading hours at a time when the government is coming down hard on these for some reason.

As is sadly expected with any pride event, there are the groups of counter-protesters who are going around being offended that it’s legal for this community to be happy. One such group approaches our kiosk, and their leader speaks up.

I try not to get too political, but it should be noted that this leader is a woman wearing a MAGA pin on her jacket.

Protester: “Shame on you! I can’t believe my tax money is paying for you to promote this s***!”

Me: “Well, I’m a volunteer so you’re not paying me at all, really.”

Protestor: “You’re poisoning the minds of our children with this! How am I supposed to explain to my child why this is allowed to happen?”

Me: “I don’t know, how did you tell your child it was allowed for the president to grab them by the p*ssy?”

Protestor: “That… that’s not gay!”

Me: “Got it. So non-consensual sexual abuse is okay because it’s heterosexual? Reading age-appropriate books to children in drag is not okay because… the reader is homosexual? Ma’am, you can just say “because I’m a homophobic bigot” and save yourself using all those words.”

Protestor: “Shame on all of you! You’re all gonna burn in Hell!”

The group of protestors (all of them had the same hairstyle too!) turn away to go try to ruin someone else’s day.

Where I work, employees get 10% off all store purchases. I am looking through the clearance section when I come across an item discounted at 75% off.

Cashier: “Hey, [My Name].”

Me: “Hey, [Cashier]. This was in the clearance section.”

I point to the item, knowing clearance prices have to be adjusted at the register.

Cashier: “Okay.”

She scans everything but does not enter the 75% off.

Me: “Don’t forget the clearance price.”

Cashier: “You can’t get clearance stuff on your employee discount.”

Me: “Yes, you can. Ask [Manager].”

Cashier: “No, one or the other.”

Me: “Okay, then we can ring it up separately.”

Cashier: *Huffs* “Please just pay. I want to go home.”

Now, I could pay, be on my way, and deal with it later, but I know I am right.

Me: “Call for [Manager].”

Cashier: “Oh, my God, [My Name]. Seriously?”

Me: “If she says I’m wrong, I’ll apologize. But I don’t think I am.”

Cashier: “Fine!“

She calls for the manager.

Manager: “Hi, guys, what’s going on?”

Cashier: “[My Name] isn’t happy with her discount.”

Me: “We do get our employee discount on clearance stuff, right?”

Manager: “Yeah, why? Is it not working?”

Cashier: “Seriously? She’s paying practically nothing!”

Manager: “Yeah… so go ahead and take the 75% off there for her. And you’re good!”

The cashier does as she is told, hitting the buttons a little harder than normal.

Cashier: “Fine. Your total is [amount].”

Me: “Thank you!”

She all but threw the receipt at me, so I smiled and walked away. I understand she thought she was right, but to act like that just because she was wrong? I hope she never does that in front of a regular customer.

I work at a natural history museum that has an earthquake simulator. I am working in the café, and a tourist is telling me about her visit.

Customer: “Oh, we’re having a great day! We went to your earthquake and volcano section and tried the earthquake stimulator!“

Me: “The earthquake sim-ulator! Yes, that’s always a favourite.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, it was a really good stimulation! We all had to hold on while we were shook about!”

Me: “Yes, it’s a pretty good sim-ulator!“

Customer: “I might go try the stimulator one more time before I go, but maybe without the kids. They got scared last time.”

Me: “Yes… that might be best.”

I have just graduated but don’t have a job lined up yet, so my dad encourages me to apply for benefits in the interim. It’s worth noting that I have partial hearing loss. I also have a very clearly Scottish surname although my voice is very English. I call up and the woman who answers has a Scottish accent from the same area as my family. She asks for my name.

Me: “Of course, it’s [My Name], and I should let you know I’m a little bit deaf, so I’m sorry if I make you repeat yourself a little.”

Benefits Agent: “This should take about ten minutes. First…” *Very fast question I don’t catch*

Me: “Sorry, could you repeat that?”

Benefits Agent: *Patronisingly slow* “When… did… your… last… employment… end?”

Me: “Oh, four years ago. I’ve just graduated from university.”

Benefits Agent: *Very fast and mumbling something*

Me: “I’m so sorry, I didn’t get that.”

Benefits Agent: *Louder and even slower* “What… date… and… year?”

This continues for the next five or so questions. I ask her to slow down slightly, but she always asks really quickly and mumbled first and then loudly and slowly the second time. After the sixth question…

Me: “I really am sorry. Could you please repeat that?”

Benefits Agent: “No.”

And the line cuts. I call back, get a man with a similar accent, and explain what just happened.

Benefits Agent #2: “Oh, dear. Let me have a look at your account… My colleague has left a note here saying that you were rude and mocking about her accent.”

Me: “What? Not at all. I explained to her that I was a wee bit deaf at the beginning, and she continued to speak very quietly and quickly. Then, she was quite rude whenever I asked her to repeat the question. My family is from [Scottish Town] and [Other Scottish Town], so the accent is definitely not the issue.”

Benefits Agent #2: “Hmm, I see. I’ll make a note of that and flag the call for review. We’ll pick up where you left off, though, and I do tend to talk fast. so please tell me to slow down if I’m too speedy.”

The following however many questions took as much time as the six with the previous call handler, and I didn’t have to ask him to repeat a single question. I don’t know if the woman was just having a bad day or what action was taken, but years later, I also worked in a call centre and used both sides of that experience to give the best customer service I could.

Related:
Questionable Behavior, Part 3
Questionable Behavior, Part 2
Questionable Behavior

Back in college, I rented a house with a couple of people. The landlord knew we were all twenty to twenty-two years old and mentioned that she always prefers to rent to college kids to give them a “real-life” experience.

Well, after the first six months of living there, we got a notice to evict for repeated late rent. I was the “head of house” on the lease, so I called [Landlord] from my cell phone and sat with all of my roommates. 

Landlord: “Hello?”

Me: “Hi, [Landlord], this is [My Name] at [address]. I’d like to discuss this letter I got today.”

Landlord: *Angrily* “Yes! I expect you to be out in ten days.”

Me: “I don’t understand why, though. I always deliver the check the Monday before the beginning of the next month. We have never been late paying you.”

Landlord: “That doesn’t matter! I go to the bank on Fridays to deposit everything. Several times I’ve had to make extra trips for you.”

Me: “I don’t understand. Do you want the check exactly on the first of the month?”

Landlord: “I always rent to college kids so they have an understanding of how bills work. I don’t know why you’re so difficult.”

Me: “I… don’t know, either. I’m very confused. But if you’re willing to end the lease in ten days on [date], I guess that’s it. We’ll go.”

Landlord: “The only other option is for you to pay the rest of the lease in full by the end of the ten days.”

Me: *Laughing* “No, we won’t be doing that. But I will be talking to my friend’s dad to see what we can do about this.”

Landlord: “Who the f*** cares about your friend’s dad?”

Me: “He’s a lawyer. I’m pretty sure you’re just being a f****** b****, and he’s going to tell me if I’m right.”

The landlord hung up and didn’t answer when I called back.

Two days later, there was a letter on our door saying the previous eviction notice was void and we could stay for the rest of our lease. I changed my payment pattern to reflect her Friday visits to the bank and we never had another issue.

I’m still stunned that she was trying to evict us because she hadn’t cashed our rent check by the first of the month. We told all of our friends and fellow majors that they should not rent from her. 

Oh, and I don’t have any friends with lawyer fathers!