Shoplift Your Spirits

| Detroit, MI, USA | Uncategorized

(I witness this exchange between a customer and my manager.)

Manager: “I’m going to have to ask you to leave your backpack at the counter.”

Customer: “Don’t worry about it. My policy is not to shoplift when my friends can’t spare bail money.”

(The manager laughs and walks off, letting him keep his backpack.)

Social Faux Pa Pa

| Pennsylvania, USA | Uncategorized

Child: “Daddy! Look at this!”

(The father comes over to find his child looking at an adult magazine.)

Father: *to me* “What the h*** is wrong with you? How can you let a 6-year-old boy look at this smut?!”

Me: *ringing up another customer* “Sir, I’m with another customer right now.”

Father: *waving the magazine in my face* “He is way too young for this! Why didn’t you stop him from looking at this?” *he starts screaming obscenities*

(My manager walks by as this is happening.)

Manager: “Sir, she is a cashier, not a babysitter. It is not her job to watch your child, it is yours. She was doing her job when you came up to scream at her. Now get out before I call the police.”

(The man looks embarrassed as he leads his son out. A minute later, he walks back in.)

Father: *mumbles* “I forgot my other son.”

Life Is Stranger Than Fiction

| Stoneham, MA, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I’m looking for a book about a football player.”

Me: “Do you know the title or author?”

Customer: “It’s about a kid who plays football.”

Me: “Is it fiction or nonfiction?”

Customer: “Which is the real one?”

Me: “You mean which is a true story?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “Nonfiction books are true stories. Is it a biography or autobiography?”

Customer: *exasperated* “What’s the difference?”

Me: “Biographies are written by someone else about a person, autobiographies are written by the person themselves.”

Customer: “I doubt he wrote it; he’s a football player. Do you know how many hits those guys take to the head?!”

Can’t Count On His Trust

| Billings, MT, USA | Uncategorized

(A group of four teens come in to see an R rated movie. Two of the kids have ID revealing their age to be 17. The two girls have no ID. I am a manager and am called over to assist.)

Me: “What’s wrong here?”

Male Customer: “See, me and him have our IDs because I drove.” *points to girls* “They are 17. They just forgot their IDs.”

Me: “Well, you owe me $100.”

Customer: “What? No I don’t.”

Me: “Oh, so you don’t take my word for it? You don’t trust me.”

Girl Customer: “Hey, we are 17. We know the rules. We just forgot our IDs.”

Me: “If you knew the rules, then why didn’t you bring your IDs? I can’t sell you tickets, but can I suggest a PG-13 movie?”

Male Customer: “Hey wait, why do I owe you $100?!”

No Short Cuts In Private School

| Adelaide, Australia | Uncategorized

(I am having my hair done and over hearing a conversation between a mother, her daughter and the hairdresser.)

Hairdresser: “Oh dear…sweetie.”

Child: “What is it?”

Hairdresser: “I’m afraid I can’t cut your hair today.” *to the mother* “Excuse me ma’am?”

(The mother ignores the hairdresser and talks on her mobile phone.)

Hairdresser: “Excuse me.”

(Mother continues to ignore her.)

Hairdresser: “Ma’am!”

Mother: “What!? Can’t you see I am on the phone?”

Hairdresser: “I am sorry, but I’m afraid I can’t cut your daughter’s hair.”

Mother: “What do you mean you can’t cut my daughter’s hair?”

Hairdresser: “I’m very sorry, but it is against store policy to cut anybody’s hair if they have lice.”

Mother: “Lice!? She can’t have lice! She goes to a private school!”

Page 1,788/2,596First...1,7861,7871,7881,7891,790...Last