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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Passing The Buck

    | Des Moines, IA, USA | Top

    Me: “Thank you for calling, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I have a problem with you guys! You are trying to screw me!”

    Me: “Ok, what seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “I am trying to buy a house. Your company is showing a unpaid bill for $5000, and my bank has denied my loan because of this.”

    Me: “Well, according to our records you purchased an air conditioner two years ago for $3500. You made two payments of $150 and never made another payment.”

    Customer: “Yes, so?”

    Me: “Well, you never paid for the item so we reported it as such.”

    Customer: “But I sold that house a year and a half ago!”

    Me: “But you never paid for the air conditioner.”

    Customer: “I KNOW THAT! WHY WOULD I PAY FOR SOMETHING I DON’T OWN! CALL THE NEW OWNERS AND GET YOUR MONEY, AND GET THIS OFF MY CREDIT REPORT!”

    Me: “I am sorry, but we agreed to extend credit to you, not the new owners of the house. You signed the agreement, not them.”

    Customer: “Where am I supposed to get $5000?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but all I can think of is when you got the money for selling the home with the air conditioner, you should have paid the account balance off.”

    Customer: “I TOLD YOU I AM NOT GOING TO PAY FOR SOMETHING I DON’T HAVE!”

    Me: “Okay, then I guess this call is over and I hope you get your bank to loan you the money.”

    Customer: “So you fixed it?”

    Me: “I sure did. Have a great day.”

    (All I did was update her account with her new address and phone number. The legal dept had noted on the account they had been unable to locate her after she sold the home… they’ll definitely find her now.)

    Oooh, So That’s What Marriage Is For

    | Melbourne, Australia |

    (A guy has been leaning over the counter trying to chat me up while I rang up his purchases. Finally, he notices the rings on my finger.)

    Customer: “Oh, you’re married?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Don’t you find that puts guys off?”

    Also seen on: Not Always Romantic.

    Mission Impossible, Part 4

    , | Ogallala, NE, USA |

    (A customer is buying a file cabinet. ¬†As I’m taking it out for her, the cabinet falls off of the hand truck and the lock gets pushed in.)

    Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am. The damage isn’t bad. Would you like us to fix it for you?”

    Customer: “I wanted to buy this undamaged!”

    Me: “Of course, we could put together a new one for you.”

    Customer: “I wanted this one.”

    Me: “So shall I take it back and have it repaired?”

    Customer: “I wanted it the way it was!”

    Me: “I understand that, but the damage has been done. If you like, we can refund your money.”

    Customer: “I don’t want a refund. ”

    Me: “Okay… what do you want to do?”

    Customer: “I wanted to buy this like it was.”

    Me: *getting frustrated* “Okay, so what do you want to do?”

    Customer: “I wanted to buy this cabinet like it was! Undamaged!”

    Me: “Well, once you decide what you want to do, you let me know.”

    (At this point, I take the cabinet into the back room and stay there. I never did find out what she did.)

    Related:
    Related:
    Mission: Impossible, Part 2
    Mission: Impossible

    Mission Impossible, Part 3

    Biting The Hand That Feeds You

    | The Netherlands |

    (Even though I stutter a bit, I never had any trouble helping customers. This customer thought otherwise.)

    Me: “C-can I help you sir?”

    Customer: *odd look* “Yes, I’d like a pack of cigarettes.”

    Me: “Okay, that’s th-three ni-ninety please.”

    Customer: “HELP! THIS GIRL CAN’T HELP ME!”

    (At this point my colleague enters the shop, standing at the second cash register which is closed.)

    Customer: “You! You can help me!”

    Colleague: “I’m sorry, this cash register is closed. My colleague will help you.”

    Customer: “But she can’t help me!”

    (A line was begins to form behind the customer.)

    Customer, to me: “So… he says you can help me.”

    Me: “No, I can’t help you.”

    Customer: “WHY?!”

    Me: “I don’t help a**holes.”

    Customer: *swears and leaves the store*

    Related:
    Never Smart: Biting The Hand That Makes Your Coffee

    Honey, He Ain’t A Scrapbooking Project

    | Michigan, MI, USA |

    (I witnessed this on the hospital floor where I work. A patient’s daughter comes out of a hospital room and stands in the hallway, staring around looking lost.)

    Nurse’s aide: “Can I help you?”

    Daughter: “Yeah… can I have a stapler?”

    (The nurse’s aide walks about two steps away to get a stapler and then thinks better of this request.)

    Nurse’s aide: “Why do you want a stapler?”

    Daughter: “My dad’s IV tubing is getting in his way. I thought it would be better if we stapled it to his arm.”

    Nurse’s aide: “Um, I think tape would work better for that.”

    Daughter: “You guys have tape here?”

    Nurse’s aide: “Yeah, I have some here in my pocket.”

    (The aide walks into the room to secure the IV tubing before any more of his genius children try to help.)

    Daughter: *muttering* “I still think a stapler is a better idea…”


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