Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Got Him Out Of A Pickle
    (3,174 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    Consideration Is Key

    | Roanoke, VA, USA |

    (A customer comes through the drive-thru two minutes before close and orders seven blended drinks. She starts talking to me through the window as I’m working on her drinks.)

    Customer: “Isn’t it so annoying when people come through ordering blended beverages right before close?”

    Me: *politely* “Well, it’s not too much of a hassle. It just takes a while to make each of them, that’s all.”

    Customer: “Oh. Then I’d like to order four more please. And can you hurry? I’m late for work.”

    What You See Is What You Can’t Comprehend

    | Worcestershire, UK, USA |

    (The hotel was hosting a conference. At lunchtime, I was serving at the dessert table which had a variety of different desserts and a large fruit bowl with a pineapple as the centerpiece.)

    Man: “Is that pineapple real?”

    Me: “Huh? Oh, yes it is. We put it there just as decoration, but I could get the chef to cut it up for you if you’d like.”

    Man: “No, I just wondered…. How about those apples, are they real?”

    Me: “Yes they are; all the fruit is real. Actually, we aren’t allowed to use fake fruit in decorating here anymore.”

    Man: “Really? Why not?”

    Me: “Because people kept trying to eat them and hurt their mouths.”

    Man: “You’re joking! How could they not tell the difference?”

    Me: “I…don’t know sir. Did you want any dessert?”

    Man: “Um…are the strawberries real?”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    Man: “Hm, they look pretty real. I’ll have some of those.”

    Why Guidance Counselors Shouldn’t Drink

    | Maine, USA |

    (I am running a bocce ball tournament, and this guest starts talking to me while I am trying to watch the game and keep score.)

    Guest: “You make a lot of money?”

    Me: “I make enough.”

    Guest: “You know, strippers make a lot of money. I heard of one who makes a thousand dollars a night.”

    Me: “Wow.”

    Guest: “How old are you?”

    Me: “18.”

    Guest: “Yeah, you should start now, before s*** starts to sag.”

    Me: “…thanks for the advice.”

    Guest: “No problem.”

    This Is Why We Don’t Color Code People

    | California, USA | Top

    Me: “Hi, what can I get for you?”

    Customer: “No!”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “No! I don’t want no g**d*** Chinese serving me.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Get me an American.”

    Me: “Sir, I am American.”

    Customer: “What?! You think I’m blind? You think I’m f***ing blind? Go back to China!”

    Me: “Right, one second…”

    (My coworkers hear everything from the back, so one of my white coworkers comes out.)

    Customer: “Ugh, finally… an American!”

    Coworker: *starts speaking Spanish*

    Customer: “G**D*** IT! F*** Y’ALL, A**HOLES!” *storms out*

    Disc Doctor, Not Disc Miracle Worker

    | Erie, PA, USA | Top

    (Our store sells a device called a Disc Doctor; it resurfaces CDs so they can be read again.)

    Caller: “I bought a Disc Doctor and it isn’t working.”

    Manager: “Well, I have one, and they can be difficult at times. Why don’t you tell me what you did, and I’ll try and talk you through it.”

    Caller: “Okay. I sprayed it with the solution and then I put both halves in the tray–”

    Manager: “Wait… did you just say ‘both halves’?”

    Caller: “Yeah, both halves.”

    Manager: “Yeah, that’s not going to work…”

    Page 1,783/2,155First...1,7811,7821,7831,7841,785...Last