Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
    (2,532 thumbs up)
  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Whipped

    | Syracuse, NY, USA |

    Customer: “Can I get a pumpernickel bagel and a plain bagel in a bag?”

    (I get him his bagels. He looks at the bag with a wistful expression.)

    Customer: “Pumpernickel bagel.”

    Me: “Yep.”

    Customer: “Keeps the peace at home, you know?”

    Me: “Um, sure.”

    Customer: “Really does. Twenty-three… no, thirty-four years of marriage and it’s come to this. Pumpernickel bagel.”

    Me: “…”

    Customer: “Pumpernickel… bagel.” *leaves*

    Welcome To Earth, Population: Me

    | New York, NY, USA |

    (A customer calls to ask if his car is ready to be picked up.)

    Caller: “Is my car ready to be picked up?”

    Me: “I can check for you, sir. Which car is it?”

    Caller: “The one I dropped off this morning.”

    Me: “Right, and which one would that be?”

    Caller: “The one that I dropped off today.”

    Me: “Sir, we have a lot of customers on a daily basis. I can’t go on that alone…”

    Caller: “I dropped it off this morning!”

    Me: “Sir, lots of people dropped their cars off this morning. You need to tell me more. The license plate number, or what you dropped it off for, for example?”

    Caller: “It’s the car that I dropped off this morning!”

    Maybe That’s Her Good Side

    | Turnersville, NJ, USA |

    Customer: “Do you take passport photos?”

    Me: “Yes we do. Do you want one taken?”

    Customer: “Yes, please.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am. Just stand in front of the screen, please, and I’ll take your photo.”

    (She walks up and stands in front of the white screen; she’s facing the background with her back towards me. My coworkers can barely keep it together at this point.)

    Me: “Ma’am, you’re going to have to turn around if you don’t want the back of your head on your passport.”

    He Wants What He Wants

    | Michigan, USA |

    Camper: “Can I get a root beer float?”

    Me: “No, you can only order a single scoop cup or cone.”

    Camper: “So I can get one?”

    Me: “You can get a single scoop ice cream, cup or cone.”

    Camper: “So can I get a root beer float?”

    Me: “You can get a cup or cone, single scoop or ice cream. That’s what you can get. Got it?”

    Camper: *nods*

    Me: “So what are you getting?”

    Camper: “A root beer float.”

    Me: “Are you seriously not getting this?”

    Please, Please Listen To Yourself Talk

    | Detroit, MI, USA | Top

    (At our library, the computers are all self-sign up. All you have to do is type in your name and library card number. This is clearly posted on the side of the monitor. In walks a young woman and her boyfriend.)

    Young woman: “Can you help me with this?”

    Me: “What’s the problem?”

    Young woman: “I don’t know what to do.”

    Me: “The instructions are on the side of the monitor.”

    Young woman: “But why can’t you tell me how to do it?”

    Me: “Because it’s SELF-SIGN UP.”

    Young woman: “But I need help!”

    Me: “All you have to do is type in your name and library card number.”

    Young woman: “But do I have to read the screen?”

    Me: *confused* “Of… course. The screen tells you when to type in your information. You have to read the screen.”

    Young woman: “BUT I DIDN’T COME INTO THE LIBRARY TO READ!”

    Young woman’s boyfriend: *turns abruptly and walks out the door*


    Page 1,776/1,972First...1,7741,7751,7761,7771,778...Last