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    Throw In A Chilean For Some Kick

    | Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Food & Drink, Funny Names

    (There is a customer in the refrigerated dairy section, looking lost.)

    Me: “Can I help you find something?”

    Customer: *grabs my arm* “Oh, yes! I’m looking for cheese.”

    Me: “Well, it would be in this aisle. What kind of cheese?”

    Customer: “You know, it’s white, and has little green flecks of Filipino.”

    Me: “Uhm, I don’t think we have that. Do you mean jalapeño?”

    Customer: “Yes, that’s it!”

    Unleashes A Whole Raft Of Problems

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Money

    (I am a supervisor called to returns for an override.)

    Me: “Hello! I understand we’re returning an inflatable raft?”

    Customer: “Yes, that’s right. I don’t like this one.”

    Me: “Okay, sorry to hear that. Give me just a sec to reverse the transaction. There you go! Anything else?”

    Customer: “No, that’s all, I’m going to shop & look for another raft.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry but it’s a seasonal item, we no longer carry them.”

    Customer: “Oh, alright.”

    *comes back about 20 minutes later*

    Customer: “Excuse me, since you don’t have any more rafts & I need one, can I buy the one I just returned?”

    Me: “Uh, sure!”

    Customer: “Well, since it’s used and it’s the last one, can I get a discount?”

    That’s One Supportive Mother

    | Maidstone, UK | Family & Kids, Language & Words, Technology

    Me: “Hi, can I help you at all?”

    Customer: “Yes. I’m looking for a present for my son. It’s called a ‘gay boy advanced’?”

    Me: “I’m hoping you meant a Game Boy Advanced?”

    Customer: “Oh? What did I say?”

    From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 4

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Family & Kids, Movies & TV

    (A few of us employees had just made a cup of ‘heart-stopper’, popcorn with way too much butter and salt, between shows. A mother and her son walk up to the counter.)

    Son: “What’s that?”

    Me: “We call it the heart-stopper.”

    Son: “Can I try some?”

    Me: “That’s up to your mom.”

    (She gives consent and the kid really likes it and starts eating several pieces.)

    Me: “Hey, slow down or you’ll wake up fat tomorrow morning!”

    Son: “Woah! Is that what happened to you?”

    Related:
    From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 3
    From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 2
    From The Mouth Of Babes

    Not Quite Getting To Beirut Of The Matter

    | Sydney, Australia | Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (An elderly man, his son and a nurse stop by the hospital cafe. The man is looking at the soft drinks in the fridge.)

    Man: “I want a lemonade!”

    Me: “Are you allowed to have lemonade?” *to son* “Isn’t he diabetic?”

    Son: “No, he’s Lebanese.”

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