Featured Story:
  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
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  • Right Next Door But Worlds Away

    | Idaho, USA |

    (I had just finished taking an order for a customer. My parents are from Germany, so I have a slight accent.)

    Me: “That will be $10.87, ma’am. Anything else for you?”

    Customer: “You have a a very neat accent, miss. Where are you from?”

    Me: “I was born in Colorado, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Wow, really? What language do they speak there?”

    Me: “…”

    There’s No Pills Like Home

    | Long Island, NY, USA | Top

    (A patient called in to inquire about her medication she had just picked up.)

    Me: *on the phone* “Pharmacy.”

    Patient: “Hi, I just picked up this medication, and I think I may have a problem.”

    Me: “Is there something incorrect with how it was filled?”

    Patient: “No, it’s just that the cream here says to apply locally, and I’m going out of town tonight. I was wondering if I could still use it.”

    Me: “Um…yes, yes you can.”

    Patient: “Oh, OK good…. Oh…oh God. I just realized…oh my God, just forget I asked! How stupid of me!”

    Kookie Cookie Karma

    | New York, USA | Top

    Me: “Can I help you, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Yes. What are these?”

    Me: “That is a fortune cookie, ma’am.”

    Customer: “It doesn’t look like a cookie. Where are the chocolate chips?”

    Me: “Ma’am, these are a different kind of cookie. You open them up and they tell your fortune on a piece of paper.”

    Customer: “What kind of cookies have paper in them!?”

    Me: “Fortune cookies, ma’am.”

    Customer: “This is an outrage! Cookies are meant to be eaten, and paper isn’t EATABLE!”

    Me: “Please, ma’am, the paper is–”

    Customer: “Shut up! I’m leaving.”

    (The customer begins to storm out but in her anger misses the door and walks right into the wall. When she finally stumbles out, I open up the fortune cookie and read its message: “Do not worry. You will get what is coming to you in life.”)

    Rated R For Reality

    | New York, NY, USA |

    (A customer comes up to the register with three under 5-year-old kids with a “Watchmen” graphic novel.)

    Me: “Hi! So have you seen Watchmen yet?”

    Customer: “No, we are going right after this.”

    Me: “You do know that Watchmen is a very violent movie geared towards adults, right?”

    Customer: “Oh, it’s okay. We’re from the Bronx.”

    A Word Away From Being Manhandled

    | Livonia, MI, USA |

    (Note: I am seven months pregnant with a huge belly.)

    Customer: *laughing* “Oh man, you totally look like you’re pregnant!”

    Me: “Well yes, sir, I am. What can I get you?”

    Customer: “But that’s just impossible. It’s so ridiculous!”

    Me: “I can assure you, sir, it’s not. I am pregnant. Can I get you something?”

    Customer: *points at my nametag* “Look! You even have a girl’s name!”

    Me: “That’s because I’m a girl. I am a PREGNANT GIRL. Now, can I get you anything to eat?”

    Customer: *walks away, laughing hysterically* “A pregnant boy, that’s just crazy!”

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