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    D as in Duh

    | Germany | Language & Words, Technology, Uncategorized

    Me: “This computer’s serial number is 5, 2, Bravo, Delta–”

    Customer: “Whoa, hold up! I’m a civilian, I don’t do that military lingo. Try that again.”

    Me: “Okay, it’s 5, 2, B, D–”

    Customer: “Wait, was that two B’s?”

    Me: “No, that’s Bravo, Delta.”

    Customer: “I’m not in the military! Speak English!”

    Me: “B as in Bravo. D as in Delta.”

    Customer: “There, was that so hard?”

    Ah, Mothers, Part 5

    | California, USA | Family & Kids, Uncategorized

    Me: “Your vehicle is a total loss.”

    Customer: “My vehicle is in great condition!”

    Me: “It’s 14 years old and it costs more to repair your vehicle than it’s worth.”

    Customer: “Well, my son is 14 years old and he’s not falling apart!”

    Related:
    Ah, Mothers, Part 4
    Ah, Mothers, Part 3
    Ah, Mothers, Part 2
    Ah, Mothers

    No Signs Of Old Age

    | Lansdale, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Uncategorized

    (An older customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “Hi, the woman up front rang me up wrong. This shirt is supposed to be $17.99.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m the one that put up the signs. I assure you they’re correct. Why don’t I go double check it for you?”

    (I check the signs.)

    Me: “I checked the signs, and they’re correct. The shirts on the rack are $26.99, but the capris on the rack are $17.99.”

    Customer: “But I read $17.99! The sign was right above the shirts!”

    Me: “Yes, but there’s only so many spots for signs on a rack. The sign says ‘Capris’ right underneath the price. There’s also a sign for the shirts on the same rack.”

    Customer: “Well you should talk to your manager, because old people can’t read!”

    Acting Disorderly

    | Madison, WI, USA | Food & Drink, Uncategorized

    Me: “Are you ready to order?”

    Customer: “No, we’re not ready to order yet.”

    Me: “Okay, I’ll come back later.”

    (I start to walk away.)

    Customer: “Hey! Aren’t you going to ask us what we want to eat?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I thought you said you didn’t want me to take your order yet.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t really care what order you ask us in. I just want my food!”

    May Also Cancel Brain Waves

    | St. Cloud, MN, USA | Musical Mayhem, Uncategorized

    (I am helping a customer looking at headphones. He reads one of the tags out loud.)

    Customer: “Black noise canceling headphones. There’s such a thing as black noise?”

    Me: “Sir, those are the color of the headphones.”

    Customer: “Oh, because I’ve heard of that white noise, are you sure it doesn’t just cancel the black noise?”

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