Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • The Offer Is Sub-Standard
    (1,841 thumbs up)
  • August Theme Of The Month: We Are Closed!
    Submit your story today!

    Well, That Narrows It Down

    | St. Louis, MO, USA |

    (The guy asks for a couple of beef brisket sandwiches, but has not specified the type of bread.)

    Me: “Sir, what type of bread would you like with your sandwiches?”

    Customer: “Uhhh…”

    Me: “We have wheat, rye, white, sourdough, 9 grain…”

    Customer: “Do you have that one, you know, the square kind?”

    Strange Math In These Here Parts

    | Flagstaff, AZ, USA |

    Customer: “What time is check in at your hotel?”

    Me: “3 pm.”

    Customer: “And check out?”

    Me: “11 am.”

    Customer: “Ok, so we got 4 hours.”

    Me: “Um, yeah…”

    When You Care Enough To Send…Something

    | Perrysburg, OH, USA |

    Me: *on the phone* “So you want a dozen roses…what color would you like? Red?”

    Customer: “NO! Not red! Let’s do pink…red means love, and I don’t want love. I just want to get laid!”

    Me: “OK…pink roses it is.”

    Also seen on: Not Always Romantic

    Quantity Does Not Equal Quality

    | Sacramento, CA, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling Tech Support, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Hi – could you send me one of your free connection CDs?”

    Me: “Sure!”

    (I pull up her account and see that she’s already ordered 50 copies.)

    Me: “Uh, ma’am? It seems you’ve already requested several CDs. Is there a reason you need another?”

    Customer: “Well, yes! I used up the other CDs already.”

    Me: “Ma’am, you can re-use the CDs. Have you been throwing them away?”

    Customer: “No. I put them into the little slot and they just slide in, and the computer keeps them. I thought it was like a bus ticket!”

    (I recommended that she go to a local repair shop. They in turn removed almost 100 CDs from the inside of her case.)

    Allergy Season Nightmare

    | Portland, OR, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling ***, this is ***, how can I help you?”

    Customer: *yelling* “IS THIS TECH SUPPORT?!”

    Me: “Yes ma’am, it is. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “My internets are broken and I need you to fix it now.”

    Me: “OK, what’s your account number?”

    Customer: “Ugh. You can’t just see it?”

    Me: “No Ma’am, I have to look it up in our database.”

    Customer: “S***. Fine, it’s ***.”

    Me: “All right, just a moment here while I bring up the info…”

    Customer: “Just hurry it up, will you?”

    Me: “OK, it’s coming up now…”

    Customer: *sneezes*

    (About 10 seconds pass in silence. I can hear children talking in the background.)

    Customer: “Excuse me…”

    (I stay quiet, assuming she’s talking to the children.)

    Customer: “EXCUSE ME!”

    Me: “Sorry, were you speaking to me?”

    Customer: “YES YOU IDIOT! WHAT THE F*** is WRONG with you people?”

    Me: “I’m sorry? I’m not sure I understand…”

    Customer: “I SNEEZED AND YOU DIDN’T BLESS ME! WHAT ARE YOU, SOME KIND OF ATHEIST?! DON’T YOU REALIZE WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF YOU DON’T BLESS SOMEONE WHEN THEY SNEEZE?”

    Me: “Actually, ma’am, I really don’t, but I apol–”

    Customer: *interrupting* “YOU’RE A F***ING HEATHEN! I HOPE YOU BURN IN H*** FOR THIS YOU…” *continues screaming*

    Me: “Ma’am, I apologize if I’ve offended. I’ve found your account information, and it looks like your service was terminated three months ago.”

    Customer: “YES! THAT’S HOW LONG IT’S BEEN DOWN – WHY CAN’T YOU FIX IT?!”

    Me: “Because you don’t have an account with us anymore. You were canceled because of non-payment. If you’d like, I can transfer you to billing, and–”

    Customer: *unintelligible screaming then hangs up*

    Page 1,774/2,104First...1,7721,7731,7741,7751,776...Last