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    Not Exactly Gifted, Part 2

    | Orange County, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Uncategorized

    (A 12-year-old boy, comes up to the counter, holding a gift card.)

    Customer: “How much is this?”

    Me: “As much or as little as you want on it.”

    Customer: “But what does it do?”

    Me: “You give it to people as gifts. It has money on it.”

    Customer: “How much?”

    Me: “Like I said, as much or as little as you want.”

    Customer: “Can I get $10?”

    Me: “Sure.”

    (I ring up the gift card.)

    Me: “That’ll be $10.”

    (He hands me $1.35.)

    Me: “This isn’t enough. I need $10.”

    Customer: “I only have that.”

    Me: “Then you can’t get the gift card.”

    Customer: “But, you said I could do any amount!”

    Not Exactly Gifted

    Not The Brightest Idea

    | Iowa, USA | Food & Drink, Uncategorized

    Customer: “Can you turn this light off?” *points to the light hanging over the table*

    Me: “I’m sorry, but all the lights are connected. I can take the bulb out, but I would need to get a towel because it’s hot.”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    (I return under a minute later with a towel to see the light off.)

    Customer: “I took care of it.”

    (After clearing the table, I see she broke the bulb and put the glass pieces in her salad.)

    Tech Support Is Rendered Fruitless

    | Minnesota, USA | Technology, Uncategorized

    Customer: “My computer has fruit in it!”

    Me: “Like what?”

    Customer: “Every time I turn my computer on, it has a fruit in it.”

    Me: “You mean an apple?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I guess.”

    Me: “That means you have that brand of computer. Do you need anything else, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t really like apples. Can I get a cantaloupe on it instead?”

    Ignoring The Lack Of An Elephant In The Room

    | Wichita, KS, USA | Pets & Animals

    Customer: “Someone told me you have elephant rides out there.”

    Me: “No ma’am, we have camel rides and pony rides, but no elephant rides.”

    Customer: “But no elephant rides?”

    Me: “No ma’am, we don’t have elephants here.”

    Customer: “But someone told me you had elephant rides!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but that person must have been mistaken. We do not have elephant rides.”

    Customer: “Well, where can I ride an elephant, then?”

    Cash Back, Government Style

    | United Kingdom | At The Checkout, Uncategorized

    Me: “Okay, that’s £10.00 please.”

    Customer: *handing me cash* “Could I have £10 cash-back as well, please?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, you need to pay on your card to get cash-back.”

    Customer: “Oh, do you?”

    Me: “Yes, otherwise we’d just be giving you money.”

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