Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Filled With Creamy Justice
    (1,977 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    A Match Made In Size 7

    , | Toronto, ON, Canada | Awesome Customers

    (A couple walk in, the lady in front, the man trailing tiredly behind. The lady spins around the store.)

    Me: “Can I help you with anything today?”

    Lady: “I need these pants in size 0, pronto.”

    Me: “Who are you getting them for?”

    Lady: “MYSELF! What do you think!”

    (I get her what she wants, she takes them and goes into a change room.)

    Lady: “HEY, these are defective! Get me another pair!”

    Me: “May I suggest a bigger size?”

    Lady: “Are you saying I look fat? That I can’t fit into these pants?! I’ll have you know, I always wear size 0… these pants must be made wrong! Now get me another pair!”

    Man: “Honey, those are really small pants, just try a slightly bigger one.”

    (Without a pause, she turns around and slaps the man.)

    Lady: “Why can’t you just be on my side! That was so rude! You’re sleeping on the couch tonight!”

    Man: “We don’t live together.”

    Lady: “What do you mean! We moved in last week… remember?”

    Man: “No… we don’t live together.”

    (The lady realizes he’s not caving. She flicks a look at me, then tries a different route.)

    Lady: “Well, I mean, you’re still sleeping on the couch in your own apartment! To show remorse for disrespecting me. Or else!”

    Man: “Or else what?”

    Lady: “Or else I’m dumping you!”

    Man: “… Okay.”

    Lady: “You just–you just like HER, don’t–” *walks out fast, sobbing*

    (The man stayed behind and apologized to me. My shift was ending so we went for dinner, and long story short he’s now my fiance! Couldn’t ask for a better man, and I’ve got to thank that lady someday for making it all possible…)

    Paper, Plastic, Horrible, Fantastic

    | Burlington, MA |

    Me: “Did you need a bag for that?”

    Customer: “Yes… oh, do you have plastic? Can I have one?”

    Me: “Sure.” *hands her a plastic bag*

    Customer: “I thought you guys were like Whole Foods. They got rid of all their plastic bags.”

    Me: “Well, I know they’re trying to ban plastic bags in Boston…”

    Customer: *suddenly agitated* “A company shouldn’t need a law to do the right thing!”

    Me: “Oh… we keep ours because some of our customers still prefer plastic bags over paper.”

    Customer: *suddenly nice* “Oh I know! I got one!”

    Random Acts of Specificity

    , | Fort Collins, CO, USA |

    Me: “What else do you want?”

    Customer: “Peppers.”

    Me: “Which kind?”

    Customer: “… Peppers.”

    Me: “We have three kinds of peppers not including salt and pepper. Which kind of these do you want?”

    Customer: “PEPPERS.”

    Me: “Do you want banana peppers, jalapeno peppers, or green peppers?”

    Customer: “PEP-PERS.”

    Me: “Do you want these?” *holds up the green peppers*

    Customer: “Yes, those! Jesus Christ, don’t you guys know what a green pepper is?!”

    Bacon, Lettuce and Taxes

    | Springfield, IL, USA |

    Me: *after completing an order* “Thank you; your total is $8.28.”

    Customer: “$8.28? How is that? The #2 meal is $6.99, and it’s only 69 cents to make it a large! That’s not $8.28.”

    Me: “Umm…there’s a 60 cent tax.”

    Customer: “I didn’t order no tax!”

    Me: “No, there’s a tax on the food.”

    Customer: “But I don’t want tax on my sandwich!”

    Me: “Sales tax?”

    Customer: “Oh. OH! Sorry.”

    Associate: *to me* “For the love of God, was she serious?!”

    Education Is No Guarantee

    | New York, USA |

    Customer: “A packet of cigarettes and some gum, please.”

    Me: “I’ll need an ID for the cigarettes, sir.”

    Customer: “What? Why?!”

    Me: “If you look under 30 we need an ID.”

    Customer: “But…why?”

    Me: “It’s against the law to sell cigarettes to underaged persons. If there’s any risk of it, I need to check IDs or any other proof of identity, such as a driver’s license, passport, etc.”

    Customer: “But, like, WHY?!”

    Me: “It’s against the law. I could be fired or fined, and you’d get a penalty as well.”

    Customer: “Yeah, but WHY?!”

    Me: “It’s illegal, sir.”

    Customer: “WHY?!”

    Me: “Because…smoking is dangerous.”

    Customer: “What?! Why?”

    Me: “It has a lot of poisonous chemicals and known carcinogens in it.”

    Customer: “Your cigarettes have carcinogens in them? Eww, I’m not buying these.”

    Me: “Sir, the packet clearly reads “SMOKING KILLS”. Wasn’t that a hint?”

    Customer: “I can’t believe you’d sell CARCINOGENS. That’s just…ugh. Just give me some gum!”

    Me: “Um… okay, sir, which flavor and brand?”

    Customer: “Any flavor, any brand… umm, do you have that nicotine gum stuff?”


    Page 1,773/2,064First...1,7711,7721,7731,7741,775...Last