November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Cash Back, Government Style, Part 2

| Southampton, UK | Uncategorized

(We have a pay-point for customers who pay for their gas and electricity on a pay-as-you-go plan.)

Me: “Hi there, how can I help?”

(The customer pushes £20 note and a gas card into my hand.)

Customer: “I want £10 back.”

Me: “So you want £10 on the gas with £10 change?”

Customer: “No, I want £20 on the gas and £10 cash-back. You know, cash-back? Like from the till?

Me: “I’m afraid we only offer cash-back when you’re paying with a debit card.”

Customer: “I don’t have a debit card, can’t you do it anyway?”

Me: “No, cash-back is money taken from your debit account. Like it’s from an ATM.”

Customer: “I don’t understand.”

Me: “Well, you’re asking for £10 cash-back without paying for it from an account. You’re basically asking for me to give you free money.”

Customer: “Isn’t that how it works?”

Cash Back, Government Style

Acting Snappy

| Chicago, IL, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Do you have a 72mm lens cap?”

Me: “Yes. We do.”

Customer: “Is it a 72mm lens cap?”

Me: “Yes, it is. That is what you asked for, right?”

Customer: “Yes, but is it a 72mm lens cap?”

Me: “As I said, yes it is.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Actually no. It’s a 55mm but bring your camera in. I have a hammer and I’m sure I can make it work for you.”

Fairly Foolish Fares

| Brooklyn, NY, USA | Uncategorized

(It’s 4 AM and I’m driving a college-aged girl home.)

Passenger: “Can I ask you a question?”

Me: “Sure.”

Passenger: “You know the ducks in Central Park?”

Me: “Yes?”

Passenger: “Where do they go for the winter? When the lake freezes.”

Me: “I think they fly south.”

Passenger: “Really?”

Me: “To Florida, I think.”

Passenger: “That’s so weird. Are you Jewish?”

Me: “I’m Italian, actually.”

Passenger: “You sound really Jewish.”

Me: “Well, I’m from Long Island. Maybe it’s my accent.”

Passenger: “Can I ask you a personal question?”

Me: “Okay.”

Passenger: “Are people born in 1987 the lost generation?”

Me: “Um…”

(The entire cab ride was like this.)

Nobody Nose

| Columbia City, IN, USA | Uncategorized

(Our shop offers free wireless internet with any purchase. We keep it password-protected ever since we discovered the neighbors were stealing it. I give the password out at the register; changing it once a week and keeping it as random as possible.)

Customer: “What’s the password today?”

Me: “Nostrils.”

Customer: “What the h*** kind of password is that? I never would have guessed that!”

Gotta Try It Sooner Or Latte

| Tukwila, WA, USA | Uncategorized

(We serve a limited number of coffee drinks made automatically by machine.)

Customer: “I’d like a hazelnut latte, please.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t have other flavors. I can give you a regular latte.”

Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “Just a regular latte.”

Customer: “What does it taste like?”

Me: “It’s just coffee and milk.”

Customer: “Oh. I’ve never tried that! Maybe I should.”