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    Customer Service: Once Bitten, Twice Shy

    | Massachusetts, USA |

    Customer: “Hi, can I get my dogs nails clipped?”

    Me: “Yes, have you been here before?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “OK.” *pulling up info* “It looks like your dog’s rabies certificate expired last month.”

    Customer: “I have the papers at home. I’ll bring it in next time.”

    Me: “Sorry sir, we need the current rabies certificate to do nails.”

    Customer: “So you don’t want to do them?”

    Me: “I can’t do them, sir. It’s our policy.”

    Customer: “I thought that was just for grooming.”

    Me: “No sir, it’s for all services. I can’t–”

    Customer: “Fine, I’m never coming back again!” *storms out*

    Always Right, Especially When It’s Mom

    , | Buffalo, NY, USA |

    Coworker: “Guys! There’s a car pulled in backwards in the drive-thru. They’re backwards!”

    Backwards customer: “Hi, I just want a fish sandwich and a chocolate milk shake.”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry. We don’t have those items. Is there something else I can get you?”

    Backwards customer: “No, I just want a fish sandwich and a chocolate milk shake!”

    Coworker: “Ma’am, do you realize you’re at [Mexican fast food restaurant]? Would you like a taco?”

    Backwards customer: “Okay, okay, we’re kidding! Alice, this is your mom and Aunt Marie!”

    (I happen to be Alice. Family are the worst customers!)

    Like A Robber In A Donut Shop

    | Steinkjer, Norway |

    (This is early December, when most of the companies have their big night out. A visibly drunk patron needs to be asked to leave due to inebriation.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I think you’ve had enough for tonight, and I think it’s best if you call it a night.”

    Customer: “What? I’m not druuunk! You’re ouuut of yoooour mind!”

    (I guide the drunk customer to the door, which he immediately grabs a hold of to resist being led out of the bar.)

    Customer: “I’m not leaving! You’re going to have to call the cops to get me out of here!”

    Me: “Well, sir, if you take a look over at the table with the people looking very intently at us… that’s the police department’s Christmas party.”

    Customer: *leaves, rather expediently*

    A Number 666 With A Side Of Brimstone

    , | Newfoundland, Canada |

    (After serving them their fast food, a woman with a family of six runs up to the counter, furious.)

    Customer: “You! You stacked our food wrong! Now my kids are crying!”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “Come look!”

    (She brings me down to their table, where their three pre-teens are crying their eyes out and her husband looks incredibly frustrated.)

    Customer: “Look!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I don’t see anything wrong with your food–”

    Customer: “[Child #1] is supposed to eat first, but his food is on the bottom! We won’t be able to get it without moving the other things!”

    Me: “I don’t think I understand.”

    Customer: “He’s the first person on the left! He has to eat first, or Satan will claim his soul!”

    Me: “Uh…”

    (I decide to ask counter-clockwise around the table what everyone ordered, and hand them their food out off the pile.)

    Customer:, “Oh, thank you! You will serve as a warrior of God someday!”

    Me: “…right.”

    (That family still shows up once a month or so, and suffice to say, I always run out to see what order they’re sitting in before I serve their food.)

    Pick-Up Fails To Deliver

    | Chicago, IL, USA |

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like to order a small pizza.”

    Me: “Sure, anything else today?”

    Customer: “My number?”

    Me: “…anything else?”

    Customer: “My number?” *smiles*

    Me:Your number…?”

    Customer: “…sorry, I wanted to try that pick-up line out.”

    Me: “Oh…well…it didn’t work. Have a nice day.”

    Customer: *walks away with his head down*

    Also seen on: Not Always Romantic

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