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  • Bigotry Is Not On The Menu
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  • Weeding Out The Truth

    , | MS, USA | Uncategorized

    (The cigar shop sells hookahs and tobacco for it. It’s called sheesha.)

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes. I’m looking for hookah tobacco. It’s called…uh…ganja?”

    Me: “This is the only hookah tobacco we sell.”

    Customer: “Thank you!”

    (As I am ringing him out, it suddenly occurs to him what he had asked for.)

    Customer: “Oh my God! Did I just ask you for weed?”

    Related:
    Weeding Out The Good Customers

    Poppies And Muffins And Flies, Oh My

    | CA, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “Excuse me, it looks like flies have laid eggs in your muffins.”

    Me: “Actually, ma’am, those are poppy seeds.”

    Customer: “No they’re not, they can’t be. Poppies are from ‘The Wizard of Oz.’ They’re not real.”

    Me: “Actually, ma’am, they’re quite real.”

    Customer: “Oh.” *turns to her approximately 8 year-old
    son*
    “Don’t eat those! They’ll make you fall asleep!”

    Ex-Box

    | Lake Charles, LA, USA | Top

    Me: “Thank you for calling, how may I help you?”

    Caller: “Yeah. Do Xbox 360s come with cup holders?”

    Me: “Uh…”

    Person in the background: “IT’S ON FIRE!”

    Pretty Obvious

    | OR, USA | Uncategorized

    (I work for a wireless service company. I’m taking a look over a customer’s account to determine if he’s eligible for a discount on a new phone.)

    Customer: “You sound really pretty. Way prettier than the last girl I talked to here.”

    Me: “I can’t get you a free phone.”

    Customer: “I’m not saying that to get anything from you, I just think you sound pretty.”

    Me: “I still can’t get you a free phone.”

    Customer: “Well then, you sound equally as pretty as the last girl!”

    Queer As Folk Re-Vamped

    | Melbourne, Australia | Uncategorized

    Customer: “Hey. You were talking about vampire books with the last customer?”

    Me: “The’yre here on the wall next to the counter.”

    Customer: “Do you have any gay ones?”

    Me: “Do you mean as in homoerotic literature?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    Me: “Oh, no. Have you tried [romance bookshop] across the road?”

    Customer: “Why would I go there? I just want gay vampires.”

    Me: “Well that’s generally a subsection of romance, not Sci-Fi.”

    Customer: “I don’t want romance! I just want gay vampires!”

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