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    Education Is Wasted On The Young

    | Ohio, USA |

    (A number comes across the screen with the same area code as my hometown.)

    Me: “Hi, this is [name]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I was wondering if you could give me the number for the store in [town]. I live over in [town I grew up in].”

    Me: “Sure thing. So you live in [town]? I grew up there. I just graduated in ’06.”

    Customer: “Oh wow! What a small world! I graduated in ’82.”

    Me: “That’s awesome. Okay, that number is [number].”

    Customer: “Thanks! Wow, 1906…that’s incredible.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I graduated in 2006, not 1906.”

    Customer: “Oh, no wonder you sound so young!”

    Gives New Meaning To Family Tree

    | Pennsylvania, USA |

    (I work as an educator in a native American village. I am with a group of pre-schoolers.)

    Me: “Believe it or not, the Lenape used to tie their babies to a board and hang them in a tree so the foxes wouldn’t get them!”

    Child 1: “Do they still do that?”

    Me: “No, they live just like we do today and don’t need to.”

    Child 2: “That’s not true. My mommy and daddy tie me to trees when they get mad.”

    Inn-Experienced Guest, Part 2

    | Saint John, NB, Canada |

    Guest: “So, is this hotel open 24 hours?”

    Me: “Yes, it is.”

    Guest: “Really?”

    Me: “Yes, otherwise we would have to kick everyone out at 11 pm so we could go home.”

    Related:
    Inn-Experienced Guest

    Not Taking A Shine To It

    | Riverside, CA, USA |

    Me: “Here you go, ma’am. That will be $26.50.”

    Customer: “Wait just a minute. That isn’t my stereo.”

    Me: “Actually, it is your stereo. The serial number is right here and it matches.”

    Customer: “This isn’t the stereo I brought in to be fixed. It looks all different. What did you do to it?”

    Me: “We cleaned it.”

    Customer: “Oh…ah…thanks!”

    Feeling The Pinch

    | Fort Fisher, NC, USA |

    (I volunteer at an aquarium and often work our touch tank.)

    Visitor: “Oh look! Stingrays!”

    Me: “Actually, ma’am, those are horse shoe crabs.”

    Visitor: “How can you tell?”

    Me: *flipping the crab over* “It has claws and feet. Stingrays don’t have feet. Would you like to touch it?”

    Visitor: “No! It will sting me!”

    Me: “No, ma’am, I assure it is safe.”

    Visitor: “I don’t think so! You must just be immune!”

    Visitors 12 Year Old Son: “Mom! It’s in the touch tank!”

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