Receipt Cheat

, | TX, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I thought that your tacos were 79 cents today.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, they are. If you’ll look at the bottom of your receipt, it’ll show you that the price was discounted.”

Customer: “But it says $1.09 here, not 70 cents. You did this wrong.”

Me: “Ma’am, if you’ll notice the bottom of the receipt, it has a negative amount. That means that much was taken off of the price of tacos.”

(The customer looks lower on the receipt and becomes indignant.)

Customer: “What? I don’t owe you 90 cents!”

Me: “No, ma’am, you don’t. That just says that’s how much was taken off the tacos to make them 79 cents.”

Customer: “But you charged me $1.09. It clearly says that your tacos today are 79 cents.”

Me: “Ma’am, can I see your receipt?”

(I take the receipt, and use a pen to mark out the price and put in $0.79 on it.)

Customer: “Oh! That looks better. Thanks so much.”

(She happily takes her food and leaves.)

You Bite It, You Buy It

, | Clitheroe, England, UK | Uncategorized

(I work in a charity shop selling used items. A customer walks up to me with a pair of gloves.)

Customer: “Are these gloves waterproof?”

Me: “They look it, sir.”

Customer: “I’ll just test them out.”

(The customer then proceeds to bite the gloves, covering them with his spit in the process, while everyone close to him looks on in horror.)

Customer: “Yes, I’ll take these.”

Her Head’s Up Where That Sandwich Is

| Kirksville, MO, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi, can I help you today?”

Customer: “I’d like about a pound of honey maple ham, shaved.”

Me: “Alrighty.”

(I start slicing.)

Customer: “I just want you to know, honey maple ham sliced by your hands is like eating a sandwich made of clouds.”

Me: “Um, thank you?”

Part-Time, Double-Time

| London, England, UK | Uncategorized

(I am working in a pub with two public entrances: it has one small side entrance and another on the main street on the opposite wall. A 20 year-old girl enters through the side entrance and approaches the counter.)

Customer: “Hi. I’m looking for a part-time job.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t need staff at the moment.”

(The girl leaves through the same entrance, walks around the building, walks in through the other door, and approaches the bar.)

Customer: “Hi. I’m looking for a part-time job.”

Snobbery Just Won’t Cut It

| London, England, UK | Top

(I am having my hair done in a salon that is just off a very busy shopping street. It is just after 4:30 in the afternoon, when a woman breezes in, carrying a lot of shopping bags.)

Client: “Hello! I have an appointment with [stylist].”

Receptionist: “Do you? I think his client is already here. Can I get your name?”

Client: “It is [name].”

Receptionist: “Ah, I see why there’s some confusion. Your appointment was for 2:00 this afternoon.”

Client: “Yes!”

Receptionist: “And it’s 4:30 now.”

Client: “Yes!”

Receptionist: “So, you’re a bit late.”

Client: “But, he knew I was going to be late!”

Receptionist: “Oh, sorry. Did you ring to let him know?”

Client: “No, but he should have known.”

Receptionist: “Sorry, how should he have known?”

Client: “He knows how beautiful I am, and there are all sorts of sales going on right now. You shouldn’t have your salon here if you don’t know that beautiful people, like me, are going to need to buy things for the summer! I mean, really!”

Receptionist: “I’m very sorry, but your appointment time has passed. Maybe you can wait? [Stylist] is with another client right now.”

(She points to me.)

Client: *suddenly very angry* “Her? But she’s so ugly! It won’t make any difference if she has her hair done. Beautiful people should have their hair done first! The ugly ones should wait!”

(She approaches my chair and tries to remove the foil for my highlights.)

Receptionist: “Madam, I’m going to have to ask you to leave right now. You can’t speak to other clients like that!”

(The woman continues trying to pull me out of the chair. She is hustled out of the salon by a group of stylists and customers, leaving all her bags behind.)

Client: *going out the door* “The ugly ones should waaaaaait!”

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