Hasn’t Quite Nailed The Reason For The Purchase

| New Zealand | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hello.”

Me: “Hello, is there anything you’re after?”

Customer: “Yes, you know that stuff that’s a bit like nail polish, and you put it on your child’s nails to stop them biting them. Do you stock it?”

Me: “Yes, actually we do. I brought some for my sister the other day. Her daughter bites her nails. Would you like me to show you where it’s located, or just give you directions?”

Customer: “Show me.”

(We walk to the aisle.)

Me: “Here you go. We have two brands.”

Customer: “Oh, I’ve tried both of those.”

Me: “Did either of them work?”

Customer: “No, my son didn’t like the taste of them.”

Height Insight

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer is getting a suit jacket fitted. She is rather short.)

Me: “Okay, may I have your height?”

Customer: “Height? What’s that?”

Me: “How tall are you, ma’am?”

Customer: “Oh, yes…height. Of course. I think I’m, like, 5’12″?”

Me: “Okay, so about six foot?”

Customer: “No, 5’12”. Didn’t I just say that?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. 5 feet 12 inches would be the same as six foot.”

Customer: “Well, they’ve changed it since last I checked.”

Not Remotely Intelligent, Part 6

, | Romania | Uncategorized

(A customer comes in asking about a monitor. She needs convincing that it is brand new, and that we do not sell second hand.)

Customer: “Where do I adjust the brightness and contrast ?”

Me: “From the menu, like in a TV.”

(I bring up the menu on the screen to show her.)

Customer: “So, is that included in the price?”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “The menu.”

Me: “Yes. The menu comes with the price.”

Related:
Not Remotely Intelligent, Part 5
Not Remotely Intelligent, Part 4
Not Remotely Intelligent, Part 3

Living In Their Own Little Bubble

| Mansfield, TX, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Front desk, this is [me].”

Guest: “Is this the front desk?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. What can I do for you?”

Guest: “Is it okay to get in the hot tub?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. It is open 24 hours.”

Guest: “Okay. I was just checking because there seem to be bubbles in it.”

Me: “No, that’s normal.”

Guest: “I’ll call you if it’s a problem.” *click*

Someone Has Baggage

| Valdosta, GA, USA | Uncategorized

(The cashier calls me up to the register to check a price for a product that’s ringing up as more than the shelf tag indicated. I run to check, and report back.)

Me: “Yes, sir. I’m sorry, it appears the sale sign was still up. But our system no longer recognizes the sale price. We’ll change the price for you.”

Customer: “Have you ever had a bag placed over your head?”

Me: “Um…no.”

Customer: “Well, you’re fixing the price for me. So today’s not that day.”

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