State Of The Toilets Have Been Far Purse

| VA, USA | Uncategorized

Female guest: “Excuse me. Can you tell the boys to stop peeing in the purse holders?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Female guest: “In the port-a-potties. Can you tell the boys to stop peeing in the purse holder?”

Me: “Do you mean the urinals?”

Some Customers Can Make You See Red

| Tampa, FL, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I am highly dissatisfied with the support I have received so far. I expressly asked for a red system. This is silver.”

Me: “Sir, this is technical support.”

Customer: “I know it is! My system is supposed to be red!”

Me: “Did you order it red?”

Customer: “The sales person didn’t tell me different colors were available.”

Me: “You should probably talk to sales. I can transfer you.”

Customer: “Is this the kind of support you guys offer? I have a problem here.”

Me: “Sir, is you computer functioning?”

Customer: “I’m sorry?”

Me: “Does your computer turn on?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Does it connect to the internet?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Do all of your programs load?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “From a technical stand point, is there anything wrong with your system?”

Customer: “Technically, it’s not red.”

This Customer Is Literally Peanuts

| Williamsburg, VA, USA | Uncategorized

(The customer picks up a gift card. It has a picture of a pressed peanut plant on it.)

Customer: “What’s this?”

Me: “It’s a peanut plant. We have a local artist that does designs in pressed flowers.”

Customer: “That’s not what this is.”

Me: “Well, a peanut plant isn’t a flower. But this is Virginia, and we do like our peanuts!

Customer: “I mean, this is not a plant!”

Me: “It’s a card with a picture of a plant on it.”

Customer: “A card? Well, you shouldn’t say it’s a plant then. It’s misleading.”

Star Trek Names: The Next Generation

| Pleasant Hill, CA, USA | Geeks Rule, Top

(A female customer comes up to my register with a heap of baby books. She notices my name tag.)

Customer: “That’s an unusual name. Where did your parents come up with it?”

Me: “Oh, my parents are Star Trek fans. The character I’m named after happened to be a name they liked. It’s also Native American and means ‘light’.”

Customer: “It’s beautiful! Do you mind if I write it down?”

(Flattered, I write down my name, the pronunciation, and the definition on a slip of paper. The customer buys the baby books and leaves. Six months later another customer comes in, and sees my unusual name.)

Customer #2: “Oh, so that’s where she got it.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer #2: “My sister-in-law just had a baby girl. She said she got the name from an employee in this store.”

Me: “Oh, my. Well please thank her for me. It’s an honor.”

(I never got to meet the next generation of my name. I will not forget the lady who bought the books and chose my name over all the others.)

Their Policy’s Days Are Numbered

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [insurance company]. How may I assist you?”

Caller: “I have a question about my policy.”

Me: “I can help you with that. Do you have your policy number?”

(There’s a long pause. I can hear the ruffle of papers.)

Caller: *shouting* “God d*** it!”

Me: “I’ll take that as a ‘no’.

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