July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

His Requirements Don’t Add Up

| CA, USA | Uncategorized

Caller: “Hi. I’m calling about your GED program.”

Me: “Well, we don’t have a specific program for the GED. I can assure you that all of our tutors are more than able to tutor the level of math on the GED.”

Caller: “Well, I’d like someone who has personal experience with the GED.”

Me: “Yes, but the GED test is for people who weren’t able to graduate high school.”

Caller: “Right.”

Me: “So, you want to be tutored by a tutor who didn’t graduate high school?”

Caller: “You don’t have anyone?”

Me: “No. All of our tutors graduated with honors and are now in college.”

Caller: “Oh, okay. Well, can you let me know if you ever get someone who is qualified?”

Health Care(less), Part 2

| Seattle, WA, USA | Uncategorized

(A patient comes in for a follow-up. I check their insurance card for charges.)

Me: “It seems that you have a $25 charge. You can pay that in cash, check, or credit card.”

Patient: “I don’t have charges anymore.”

Me: “Oh, did you get a new insurance company?”

Patient: “No, I just don’t have charges anymore.”

Me: “Do you have a new card that reflects that change? If not, I’m required to collect your charge. Then, if it turns out you don’t have one, we will refund it to you.”

Patient: “No, I don’t have a new card. But President Obama says I don’t have to pay.”

Me: “The president told you that you don’t have to pay?”

Patient: “Yeah. He says that Americans get healthcare for free now.”

Me: “Oh, I understand now. However, I think you’ve misunderstood. The Healthcare Bill doesn’t eliminate charges except for preventative, and doesn’t make healthcare free. It just restructures some health insurance policy and such. And it hasn’t gone into effect yet. So, you still have a charge.”

(She reluctantly pays her charge.)

Patient: “Expect to hear from President Obama about this. And don’t expect any sympathy either when he gives you the chair.”

Related:
Health Care(less)

A Heady Proposition, Part 2

| Hialeah, FL, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer comes in with a photo of her daughter. She wants to include it in a business card.)

Customer: “So you guys are able to take this picture, put it on to the computer, and then fix it up nicely?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “Okay, here you go.”

(I’m given the picture, and I notice her daughter is facing completely to the right. Not a big deal, so I go ahead and scan the picture. It appears on screen.)

Customer: “Okay. I need you to turn her face towards us.”

Me: “Uh…that’s not possible.”

Customer: “But you said you would fix it up nicely.”

Me: “I can clean the picture up and make your daughter look nice. However, you can’t scan a picture and then turn it around like it was in 3D.”

Customer: “But computers are the reason 3D exists. Now turn my daughter’s head!”

Related:
A Heady Proposition

Childs-pay

| Seattle, WA, USA | Top

Customer: “Okay, so do you take credit card?”

Me: “Of course we do. We take Visa, Mastercard, American Express, first born child…you know, the usual.”

Customer: “Trust me, you do not want my first born child. He’s 41 and way too much of a liability for your company.”

Lights Aren’t The Only Thing A Bit Dim

| UT, USA | Uncategorized

(Two customers come in and stand for a minute looking at the menu.)

Me: “Hi, what can I get you today?”

Customer #1: “Jeez, you guys need to turn on some more lights in here! I can barely see the menu!”

(There is an extended pause as his friend and I stare at him.)

Customer #2: “Maybe because you’re still wearing your sunglasses?”

(He pauses, and then takes off the sunglasses.)

Customer #1: “Oh.”

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