Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • God Loves Little Girls Who Stand Up For Others
    (2,518 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    Chernobyl Over Ciabatta

    | Missouri, USA | Top

    (Woman comes to my coworkers drawer and orders a loaf of ciabatta bread. Coworker rings it up and hands it to her.)

    Customer: “This isn’t a loaf of ciabatta.”

    Coworker: “Yes, ma’am, that’s our ciabatta.”

    Customer: “No, this is NOT ciabatta! You don’t know what you’re talking about! I know a loaf of ciabatta when I see one!”

    Me: “Is there a problem, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Yes! I ordered a loaf of ciabatta, and this is not a loaf of ciabatta!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, that is a loaf. See, here…it says ‘Ciabatta loaf’.”

    Customer: “No, this is ridiculous! This is not a loaf of ciabatta!”

    (At this point, the customer is hysterical, near tears, and waving the bread wildly.)

    Me: “Let me get you a manager to speak to…” *gets the manager*

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I ordered a ciabatta loaf and these kids are trying to sell me THIS!”

    Manager: “That is our loaf of ciabatta. When is the last time you visited our store?”

    Customer: “About a year ago.”

    Manager: “Ah, that’s why. We changed the size of our loaf about six months ago.”

    Customer: “Thank you! Now why couldn’t you tell me that?!” *points at me*

    Manager: “She’s only been here two months. She wouldn’t have known.”

    Customer: “PATHETIC!” *pays for bread and storms out*

    Next customer: *shocked look* “Wow.”

    That’s One Heckuva Mega-Bite

    | Austin, TX, USA | Top

    Me: “So you want to return the game then, right?”

    Customer: “Yeah, and I wanna make sure I’m covered by the warranty.”

    Me: “You should be, as you purchased the game within 90 days.”

    Customer:“Okay, but let’s say that there are bite marks on the CD. Would the warranty still cover that?”

    Me: “…I’m sorry, what?”

    Customer: “I may have become a little upset when I couldn’t install the game and I might have chewed on the disc a bit…”

    The Geese Will Never Know What Hit ‘Em

    | Chicago, IL, USA |

    (At our gardens, we use dogs to chase geese away from delicate areas. I encounter two elderly patrons who are clearly unhappy.)

    Patron #1: “I think it’s disgusting that they allow dogs here.”

    Me: “Don’t worry, ma’am, the dog is an employee. He has a name tag and a paycheck.”

    Patron #2: “Then why don’t the employees chase the geese away?”

    Me: “That’s because the geese are meaner than we are. If you think you can do a better job, feel free to!”

    Honesty Against The Best Policies

    | Staffordshire, England |

    (We have a 5-item max policy for our changing rooms. One lady walked out with arms full of stuff, then went back for more.)

    Me: “Excuse me, it’s only 5 items in the changing rooms.”

    Customer: “Well, it’s never been that before.”

    Me: “Actually, we’ve been enforcing it for the last 18 months. See, there’s a sign.” *points at sign on wall*

    Customer: “I don’t actually read signs.”

    Me: “Well, at least you’ll know for next time.”

    Customer: “Oh, I won’t read it next time, either.”

    Variety Is The Vice Of Life

    | Washington DC, USA |

    Me: “Here’s your drink. Are you ready to order your food, or would you like some more time?”

    Customer: “No, I know what I wants. I wants the cheeseburger. That’s all.”

    Me: “OK, what kind of cheese would you like, and how well would you like that cooked?”

    Customer: “Huh?”

    Me: “Sorry – what kind of cheese would you like, and how well would you like that cooked?”

    Customer: “Whadya mean what kinda cheese? Reg’lar yella cheese!”

    Me: “OK…and how well done would you like that?”

    Customer: “Huh?”

    Me: “How well-cooked would you like the burger, sir?”

    Customer: “What you talkin’ ’bout, how well-cooked?”

    Me: “Would you like it cooked rare, medium rare, medium, medium well or well done?”

    Customer: “Now look – when I go to [another fast food restaurant] and order me a burger, they don’t ask me if I want it cooked! Course I want it cooked. I don’t want no raw meat. Now gimme a d*** cooked burger with some plain ol’ yella cheese!”

    Me: “Yes, sir!”

    Page 1,750/2,163First...1,7481,7491,7501,7511,752...Last