There Is Norway I Can Understand You

| Trondheim, Norway | Family & Kids, Language & Words, Top, Tourists/Travel

(A young boy, about 12, is walking around confused.)

Me: *in Norwegian* “Where are your parents?”

Child: *clearly British* “Why the heck do people here assume I speak bloody Norwegian?”

Me: *in English* “You’re in Norway.”

Child: “Oh, yeah.”

It’s Going To Be One Of Those Days, Part 2

| Orlando, FL, USA | Bizarre

Me: “Thank you, ma’am. Have a great day!”

Customer: “You too! Oh, not you too. You have to work!”

Related:
It’s Going To Be One Of Those Days

Getting To The Out Source Of The Matter

| Tempe, AZ, USA | Language & Words, Technology

Me: “Hello, you have reached [business name]. This is [name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Oh, thank God! I was just talking to some mush mouth who couldn’t speak English right at all. You shouldn’t outsource; do your employers outsource? People can’t understand you when you outsource.”

Me: “Well, I am sorry for that. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I want my password. That mush mouth changed it, and now I can’t log in.”

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am. May I have your ID and what you want your password to be?”

Caller: “Just change it back to what it was.”

Me: “Well, I apologize, but I can not do that. For security reasons we can not see a password, only set it to something else. I can set it to a default or anything you request.”

Caller: “Well, I am requesting the old password. Just fix it.”

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am, but it’s impossible for me to know.”

Caller: “Well, my internet knows. It tries to use the password. Just take it from that.”

Me: “I can not take a password from your browser. If your login was working, why did you call to change your password?”

Caller: “The news told me people can take that information and steal all your files, so I was worried.”

Me: “Ma’am, your information is safe, I assure you.”

Caller: “Then why can’t you just change my password back to ‘Password’?”

Me: “Your old password was ‘Password’?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Give Customers A Piece Of Your Mind

| Dartmouth, NS, Canada | Crazy Requests

(An irate customer is frustrated with my store’s return policy, and asks me to call my manager.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but she isn’t answering her cell phone or house number, but she’ll be in tomorrow if you want to try again then.”

Customer: “No! You get her on the phone now!”

Me: “I just called both of the numbers she provided, and she didn’t answer. That sort of leaves me with telepathy.”

Customer: “Well, could you try that?”

Fighting Ignorance With Ignorance, Part 2

| NH, USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words

(I am working in the clothing section of a department store when I overhear this conversation. Note: I work with a very nice woman who moved to America from India about ten years ago.)

Mother: “Did you find everything you needed, hon?”

Child: “Yep! A really nice Indian lady helped me.”

Mother: “No, no! We don’t say Indian. We say ‘Native American.'”

Child: “No, mom, not that kind of Indian. One from India!”

Mother: “Don’t be silly, hon. We took their country from them, not gave them one.”

Related:
Fighting Ignorance With Ignorance

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