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    The Outer Limits Of Entertainment

    | Chandler, AZ, USA |

    Customer: “Two for ‘Ice Age’, please.”

    Me: “No problem. Did you want the 3-D showing at 2:15, or the regular, 2-D showing at 2:50?”

    Customer: “What’s the difference?”

    Me: “…thirty-five minutes, and a dimension.”

    Infinitely Loopy But Happy As A Clam

    | New Hampshire, USA |

    Me: “[Convenience store], how can I help you? ”

    Caller: “Just wondering…what’s the soup special today?”

    Me: “Clam chowder, sir. ”

    Caller: “Are there any other soups or stews on?”

    Me: “Not today, sir.”

    Caller: “But do you have any soup or stew on special besides clam chowder today?”

    Me: “Nope, just clam chowder. That’s our only soup special today.”

    Caller: “But what about any other hot liquid foods? Any of those besides clam chowder?”

    Me: “No, sir, just the chowder.”

    Caller: “What’s your name?”

    Me: “Lily, sir.”

    Caller: “Lily, that’s a nice name. I’m Tim. I’m wondering if you have any soups on special today besides clam chowder?”

    Me: “No, Tim, just the chowder.”

    Caller: “Okay, thank you!” *hangs up*

    (Not surprisingly, the phone rings again about a minute later.)

    Me: “[Convenience store], how can I help you?”

    Caller: “May I speak to Lily, please?”

    Me: “This is Lily.”

    Caller: “Hi Lily, it’s Tim. Do you have any soups besides clam chowder on special today?”

    Me: “…”

    Related:
    Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition
    Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition, Part 2
    Laziness Is The Father Of Repetition

    Ired By Shire Attire

    , | Montreal, Canada |

    Customer: “Excuse me, can you help me choose which suit I should get?”

    Me: “Certainly. This model here was worn by actor Sean Astin.”

    Customer: “Who is that?”

    Me: “He played in The Lord of the Rings. He was one of the hobbits.”

    Customer: “You sell to hobbits!?”

    Me: “Well, he’s not re–”

    Customer: “You shouldn’t sell to hobbits!”

    It’s Not An Otto Biography

    | Marietta, GA, USA |

    Me: “What can I help you find today?”

    Customer: “Do you guys have The Diary of Anne Frank?”

    Me: “Yeah, it’s right over here in Biographies under ‘F’. Let me grab it for you.”

    Customer: “Oh, good! I’ve always wondered who wrote that!”

    Beware The Nines Of Merch

    | Victoria, BC, Canada |

    (I’m at the service desk when an elderly man comes up.)

    Me: “Can I help you find anything, sir?”

    Customer: “No, but you can answer me a question.”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Customer: “Do you have anything for sale that doesn’t end in .99?”

    Me: “Well, we’ve got some 79′s and 49′s, but prices are usually always going to end–”

    Customer: “Are you kidding me?! I know what you’re trying to do with those nines! I know that you’re just trying to convince me it’s cheaper! Do you think I’m stupid or something?!”

    Me: “…”

    Customer: “TAKE THE NINES SERIOUSLY!” *storms out*

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