November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Contains Crosswords, Sudoku and Tentacles

| UK | Uncategorized

(A respectable looking man in his 50’s approaches.)

Customer: “Hi! Do you sell hentai puzzle magazines?”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “Hentai puzzles. My daughter likes them.”

Me: “Could you mean Hanjei puzzles? (Note: Hanjei is a popular puzzle magazine.)

A Grave Realization

| Eureka, KS, USA | Uncategorized

(After a fellow waitress had passed away, we had just returned from her funeral.)

Customer: “Oh my gosh, we are so glad to see you here!”

Me: “Why?”

Customer: “We thought that it was you that had passed away!”

Me: *after thinking for a minute* “I didn’t see you at my funeral!”

A Pregnant Pause For Thought

| Norwich, UK | Uncategorized

Customer: “Where are the pregnancy test kits?”

Me: “Over there, by the condoms.”

Customer: “If I knew where the condoms were, I wouldn’t need the pregnancy test!”

A Not So Pregnant Pause For Thought

D’ohpe, Part 2

| Brisbane, Australia | Uncategorized

(I’m a criminal lawyer at a free legal service. I am talking to a client on a DUI.)

Me: “…so, after the guilty plea I make submissions to try and minimise the penalty.”

Client: “You want an excuse or something?”

Me: “Well, actually there’s no excuse or defence under our law, but maybe if we submit your circumstances we can ask for the lesser end of the penalty.”

Client: *in all seriousness* “Well, tell them I wasn’t thinking straight cause of all the dope I’d smoked.”


Coriander Kimchi

| CA, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Welcome to [interpreting company]. What language do you need?”

Customer: “I need Coriander.”

Me: “Coriander? Do you mean ‘Korean’?”

Customer: “No, they said they need Coriander.”

Me: “Ma’am, we don’t have any interpreters that speak Coriander. I can provide you with a Korean interpreter, however.”

Customer: “Okay, but I’m pretty sure they said they needed Coriander…”