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    Coriander Kimchi

    | CA, USA |

    Me: “Welcome to [interpreting company]. What language do you need?”

    Customer: “I need Coriander.”

    Me: “Coriander? Do you mean ‘Korean’?”

    Customer: “No, they said they need Coriander.”

    Me: “Ma’am, we don’t have any interpreters that speak Coriander. I can provide you with a Korean interpreter, however.”

    Customer: “Okay, but I’m pretty sure they said they needed Coriander…”

    Zodi-whack

    | Longmont, CO, USA | Bizarre, Top

    Me: “Thank you for calling [name of store]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi, I was wondering where your Louisville location is.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We do not have a store in that area.”

    Caller: “Oh, okay.”

    (Ten minutes later, the phone rings again. It is the same woman.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [name of store]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi, I was just wondering where your Louisville location is. The last girl I talked to sounded like a Taurus, and my horoscope today said I cannot trust one of those people.”

    Me: “Don’t worry, ma’am. I’m a Scorpio. You can trust me when I say that we do not currently have a store in Louisville.”

    Caller: “You mean [store name] hired a Scorpio? Those are the worst! Have your owners call me when they fire you so that I can finally go back there!” *hangs up*

    Acting Cents-less

    | Arlington, MA, USA | Top

    Me: “And how would you like that $500?”

    Customer: “In one bill.”

    Me: *trying to be nice* “Would five hundreds do?”

    Customer: “No! One bill!”

    (I give her five hundreds, and she throws them back at me. My supervisor comes over.)

    Supervisor: “Problem?”

    Customer: “Yes, he refuses to give me what I want.”

    Supervisor: “There is no $500 bill.”

    Customer: “Yes there is!”

    Supervisor: “Not since the late 1800’s ma’am.”

    Customer: “I remember seeing it!”

    Supervisor: “Then might I say you look great for your age!”

    Love A Jedi Shall Know

    | Austin, TX, USA | Geeks Rule, Top

    (I was at work and I saw two girls from my college I knew as acquaintances, but not as much more than that. I had a crush on one of them as she was really pretty and seemed nice for the most part. I watched as she and her friend approached the register.)

    My Crush: “No, you’re wrong! I’m telling you, he never said that!”

    (I assumed they were gossiping about something until I listened a little more to the conversation.)

    Her Friend: “No, he did! He totally did! We watched it last night, stupid!”

    My Crush: “Obi-Wan never says, ‘I love you, Anakin’. The line is ‘You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you!’.”

    Her Friend: “No!”

    My Crush: *turns to me* “Oh hey [my name]! What’s up?”

    Me: “Not much. I’m good. And you’re right; Obi-Wan’s line was ‘You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you’.”

    My Crush: “Oh, my God, thank you!” *turns to her friend* “And you call yourself a Star Wars fan.”

    (Her friend scowled, but they paid and said goodbye. I watched as they got to the automatic doors. Her friend pretended to use ‘The Force’ on them. Suddenly, my crush jumped in front of her.)

    My Crush: “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”

    (I walked over and asked her out. We got married a month ago.)

    You Got The Wrong(est) Item, Part 4

    | Melbourne, Australia |

    Customer: “Excuse me, can you please help me find the new [brand] MP3 player? The one with the built in paedophile?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, built in what?”

    Customer: “Paedophile, that thing that keeps track of your footsteps?”

    Me: “Ah, yes. That would be a pedometer.”

    Customer: “Are you sure?”

    Me: “I can say with 100% certainty that none of our products have a built-in paedophile.”

    Related:
    You Got The Wrong(est) Item, Part 3
    You Got The Wrong(est) Item, Part 2
    You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 3
    You Got The Wrong(est) Item
    You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 2
    You Got The Wrong(est) Number

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