Waste Not, Want Not

| Dayton, OH, USA | At The Checkout

Customer: “I need to return this. We didn’t need it.”

(The customer sets a 20lb bag of rice on the counter.)

Me: “Do you have your receipt?”

Customer: “Yes, I do.”

Me: “Just so you know, sir, all returned food product will be thrown away. They cannot go back on the shelf or be donated by us.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! What a waste!”

Me: “Yeah, it’s the law. Since some people have poisoned food in the past, we have to throw it away for safety reasons.”

(He continues complaining about how there are starving people and how we should think about helping people, but at no point tries to stop me and offers to donate it himself.)

Customer: “I mean, I run a youth group and we just got back from a mission to help people. You guys just go ahead and throw perfectly good food out.”

Me: “I’m sorry, you just returned from a youth mission?”

Customer: “Yeah, that’s what the rice is left over from.”

There’s Safe And Then There’s Safer

| Pennsylvania, USA | Uncategorized

(Our college is located in one of the top three safest metropolitan areas in the US for a few years running. We’ve just checked-in a team of high school girls for a huge sports tournament.)

Chaperone: “There’s no way my team can stay here! Our rooms are motel-style. Anything could happen to our girls! How do I know they’ll be safe?”

Me: “Ma’am, we’ve never experienced any thefts or any other crimes at this hotel. This entire town is quite safe, I assure you.”

Chaperone: “That’s not good enough! How do you know nothing will happen?”

(I look down at the guest’s reservation to notice their team is from the Bronx.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, this isn’t exactly the Bronx.”

(The guest’s jaw drops. Not knowing what to say, she walks away and doesn’t complain again during her stay.)

More Than Just A Brand

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Uncategorized

(A tourist approaches me.)

Customer: “Excuse me, where is the coochie?”

Me: *confused* “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Coochie. The store.”

Me: “Oh! You mean Gucci? It’s just a couple blocks–”

Customer: “No, no!”

(She points at Coach bag.)

Customer: “Coochie!”

Line Is Law

| British Columbia, Canada | Food & Drink

(I am working in a buffet-style restaurant where customers line up for the food.)

Supervisor: “Can you go refill the napkins? We’re all out.”

Me: “Sure.”

(I walk over to the line wearing my work uniform and my ID card prominently displayed.)

Me: “Excuse me, I just need to refill the napkins.”

Customer: “No problem.”

Customer #2: “Why the f*** does everyone keep cutting the line?”

Me: “Sir, I work here. I am just refilling the napkins.”

Customer #2: “Well, that is no excuse! If you work here, you should know to wait your turn!”

Related:
Two Points Make A Line, But Three People Don’t

A State Of Mindlessness, Part 3

| Montana, USA | Extra Stupid

(A customer with a thick Southern-US accent comes in, starts looking at me and frowns.)

Customer: “Hey, you.”

Me: “Hello, madam. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Do you understand me?”

Me: “Why, yes, I do.”

Customer: *sighs* “But my friend told me all you stupid hicks up here speak Spanish!”

Me: “Well, that’s a bit odd. We aren’t located anywhere near Mexico, Spain or anywhere in Europe.”

Customer: “Liar! Just so you know, I went to college and I know d*** well where this state is!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “You b****! You ‘re a stupid hick who thinks she knows everything! I know d*** well where this state is!”

Me: “I’m quite certain Montana is located in the northwest corner of the USA.”

Customer: “Ugh! Make me teach the brainless rednecks! It’s not in the northwest, you dumb f***! It’s in the south, by the country Idaho!”

Me: *speechless*

(The customer rolls her eyes and storms out of the store.)

Related:
A State Of Mindlessness, Part 2
A State Of Mindlessness

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