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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    No Sting In This Tale

    | Silver Spring, MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals, Uncategorized

    (Note: we sell fake jelly fish as tank decorations.)

    Me: “May I help you?”

    Customer: “I want some jelly fish, but I need you to answer some questions first.”

    Me: “Of course. Go for it.”

    Customer: “How do I keep them alive in this plastic packaging?”

    Me: “They aren’t alive.”

    Customer: “So why are you trying to sell them?!”

    Me: “They’re decorations. They’re made of plastic.”

    Customer: “How am I supposed to know this?”

    Me: “They are plastic, have a string attached to them, have a sign that says ‘plastic jelly fish’, and they say ‘made in china’ on them.”

    Customer: *pause* “I’ll just take one of those castle decorations…”

    You Gotta Be Flushing Kidding Me

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Rude & Risque, Uncategorized

    Customer: “Do you all have a public bathroom?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry. It’s out of order.”

    Customer: “What! What’s wrong with it?”

    Me: “Well, someone clogged to toilet with paper towels and it doesn’t flush.”

    Customer: “Well, can I use it and not flush?”

    Grandma Vs The Internet

    | Kansas City, MO, USA | Rude & Risque, Technology, Uncategorized

    (A customer brings in her desktop for repair.)

    Customer: “Excuse me sir, can you help me? I’ve done something terrible.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. What seems to be the problem today?”

    Customer: “Well, I was on the computer, and all of these naughty images started to pop up. Well, I didn’t want my grandkids thinking their grandma was into something nasty, so I started to delete things and well…I’ve deleted the internet!”

    Me: “It will be alright, ma’am. I think we can save the internet.”

    Drive Hoo

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Top

    Me: “Welcome to [Fast-Food Restaurant], how may I help you?”

    Customer: “I’ll take a number 1, 5, and 12.”

    Me: “Alright, that’ll be $12.09.”

    Customer: “Woohoo!”

    (The customer drives to the window.)

    Me: “That’s $12.09.”

    Customer: “Woohoo!”

    *pause*

    Me: “$12.09.”

    Customer: “Woohoo!”

    Me: “12.”

    Customer: “Woo!”

    Me: “09.”

    Customer: “Hoo!”

    Me: “12.09”

    Customer: “Woohoo!”

    Me: “…09.12”

    Customer: “Hoowoo!”

    Me: “90.21”

    Customer: “Ooh-oow!”

    Me: “Well played, sir.”

    Perturbed By The Verb

    | Queens, NY, USA | Funny Names, Politics, Uncategorized

    Caller: “You need to do something about that new surf shop. You need to shut them down.”

    Me: “Ma’am, we can’t just shut the surf shop down, but why don’t you tell me the problem?”

    Caller: “Well, they’re very inappropriate! My teenage daughter walked by the other day, and they ‘Googled’ her!”

    Me: “They ‘Googled’ your daughter?”

    Caller: “Yes!”

    Me: “As she walked by?”

    Caller: “That’s what I’m telling you!”

    Me: “Do you mean they ‘ogled’ her?”

    Caller: “Same thing!”

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