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  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    So Mummy Can Have Birds Without The Bees

    | United Kingdom | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Uncategorized

    (I am a customer in line at a pharmacy. A mother and her two youngs boys is ahead of me. One of the young boys is sitting on the floor pointing at random medicines.)

    Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

    Mother: “That’s for an itchy head.”

    Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

    Mother: “That’s for when you can’t sleep.”

    (The boy then points at the pregnancy tests.)

    Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

    Mother: “That’s to see if you have a baby growing inside of you!”

    (The boy then stands up and gets back in line with his mother.)

    Mother, to me and the pharmacist: “Thank god he didn’t point at the condoms!”

    The Gondorian Is Always Right

    | Springfield, MO, USA | Geeks Rule, Top

    (I’m a customer here. When you place an order, the cashier asks for a name to call when the order is ready. As I’m finishing my lunch and getting ready to go, I hear over the intercom speakers…)

    Employee: “Aragorn, the firstborn son of Arathorn, your order is ready!”

    Because Insurance Is Such A Scream (Comic)

    | Las Vegas, NV, USA | Old Comics

    Original Story | Comic by EvilNessie

    A Private Broadcast

    | Monterey, CA, USA | Uncategorized

    Me: “Hello, how are you?”

    Customer: *says several numbers*

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: *says several numbers* “That’s my zip code. Isn’t that what you asked?”

    Me: “No, I just asked how you were. Did you have any coupons?”

    Customer: “Oh. I’m fine.” *says even more numbers*

    Me: “Was that your social security number? I didn’t need your social. I just wondered if you had any coupons.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay.”

    Me: “I also need to scan your ID for the wine.”

    Customer: “No way. I’m not giving you a chance to steal my identity!”

    Modern Scam-ily

    | Akron, OH, USA | Uncategorized

    (An elderly woman enters and approaches the counter carrying an original Xbox under her arm.)

    Customer: “My grandson gave me this for Christmas and, well, I’m just not interested in video games so I was wondering if I could trade it in for money.”

    Me: “Well, we can only give you store credit, not cash.”

    Customer: “Oh, that’s fine. I could just give him the store credit as a late Christmas gift.”

    Me: “Alright. Well, before I take it, I have to test it to make sure it works.”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Hmm?”

    Customer: “Why do you have to test it? I’m sure it works!”

    Me: “Company policy ma’am. It’ll just be a second, I just have to plug it in right here and see if it turns on and runs a game.”

    Customer: “I’m saying you don’t need to check it! Why would my grandson give me a broken game!?”

    Me: “Well, then, you can’t trade it, in ma’am.”

    Customer: “Fine, go ahead! I’m sure it works!”

    (I proceed to plug the system in, and it turns on, but the disc tray opens on its own and refuses to close unless I force it closed while the power is off.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I can’t take this system. The disc tray doesn’t stay closed and–”

    (Suddenly, the woman rips the cords out of the test TV and outlet, picks up the Xbox, and storms out. While the door is still open, she smacks a young man standing outside the door in the back of the head and screams “Stupid kid, making me look like a fool just so you could get rid of your d*** broken system!”)