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    So Good It’s Not Even There

    | Netherlands | Rude & Risque

    Me: “Thanks for calling [store], this is [name]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Hello, I just wanted to know whether you have any topless bikinis?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, strapless bikinis, you mean?”

    Customer: “Yes, topless bikinis! Do you have any?”

    You’re Supposed To Share The Wealth

    | Amsterdam, Netherlands | Uncategorized

    (I am sitting at the cash register where people can turn in chips for cash or other way around. A guy approaches.)

    Me: “Hello, what can I do for you?”

    Guest: “I want to take out a loan.”

    Me: “I am sorry, what do you mean?”

    Guest: “I want to take out a big loan so I can play and maybe buy a car.”

    Me: “This isn’t a bank, sir. This is a casino. We don’t do that.”

    Guest: “This can’t be. I know your company has loads of money. I want to borrow some. I will pay the tax or whatever.”

    Me: “Sir, we don’t do loans. This isn’t a bank.”

    Guest: “This is bulls***! Money is money. What’s the difference if I borrow here or at the bank? I will pay it back. So what difference does it make? Don’t argue with me!”

    (I press the red button under my desk to call security.)

    Me: “A gentleman will be here in a second to work things out with you and your loan. Good day!”

    Not Your Dad’s Cowboy Movie

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Movies & TV

    (I’m working in the box office and it’s the opening night of “Brokeback Mountain”. An elderly gentleman and his ten year old grandson walk up to my window.)

    Me: “Hello! What can I get you?”

    Customer: “One child and one senior for Brokeback Mountain.”

    Me: “Sir, just so you know, there’s some scenes that may not be appropriate for children.”

    (He pauses and stares blankly.)

    Customer: “Oh, it’s nothing that he won’t see in real life!”

    (After he leaves, I inform the manager on duty of the situation. About 30 minutes into the movie, we watch as the grandfather and child literally run out of the theater and out of the building.)

    And He Said, Fiat Lux

    | Malibu, CA, USA | Hotels & Lodging

    (A guest checks into our hotel late at night. About five minutes later, he comes back to the front desk.)

    Guest: “My room’s supposed to have a view of the ocean. I can’t see it. Did you put me in the wrong room?”

    Me: *jokingly* “Well, it is nighttime…”

    Guest: *blank stare*

    Me: “Here, I’ll move you to the other ocean view room.”

    (I move the guest to the other room. Again, he comes back.)

    Guest: “I still can’t see the ocean! I reserved this room specifically for the ocean view!”

    Me: “I do apologize. If you still can’t see the ocean in the morning, we’ll give you a discount.”

    (The guest reluctantly agrees to this and leaves in a huff. However, he does not return the next morning.)

    Not Always Right: Official Android App

    | Android | Xcluded

    Introducing Not Always Right’s Official Android App!

    Update: Now also available in a free, ad-supported version!

    Easily view, share, and save all of the hilarious stories on your phone with the official app (requires Android 1.5 and up). You can even submit your own stories right from the app!

    * Top stories – as voted by users just like you
    * Recent stories – daily posts, straight from the site
    * Random stories – practically infinite entertainment
    * Saved stories – easily save your favorites stories for offline viewing
    * Submit – upload your own stories right from the app
    * Share – send stories to friends, family, and coworkers via Facebook, SMS, email, and more!

    Get your app today!

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