Wish You Could White-Out That Last Comment

| Dayton, OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Uncategorized

(A customer is looking at printer cartridges/)

Me: “Hi, can I help you find something?”

Customer: “Yeah, I need a black and white ink cartridge.”

Me: *joking* “Well, we’re out of black and white ink. How about black and clear?”

Customer: “No! I really need the white ink!”

Computers Increase The Chance Of Identity Theft

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Liars & Scammers, Technology, Top

(A customer is requesting a refund on a computer.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I cannot give you a refund on your computer.”

Customer: “What?! Why the not?!”

Me: “You don’t have a receipt. It’s two years old, and long out of warranty.”

Customer: “I’ll have you know, I’m a lawyer and I could sue you for everything you’ve got!”

Me: “We only have a 30 day refund policy. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “I’m an assistant attorney general, and I will have you reported! This is an outrage!”

Me: “Okay, sir. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “Don’t you take that tone with me! I’m a board member of this chain, and you need to serve me!”

Me: “If there is nothing else, I’m going to have to ask you to remove your device and leave.”

Customer: “You can’t tell me to leave! I’m the owner’s nephew!”

Me: “Please calm down and leave.”

Customer: “Do you have any idea who I am?!”

Me: “Do you?”

Suffering From A Reptile Dysfunction

| South Deerfield, MA, USA | Pets & Animals, Uncategorized

(I am holding one of our Bearded Dragon Lizards for customers to pet.)

Customer: “Okay, so I know they’re Bearded Dragons, but what are they?”

Me: “They are Bearded Dragons.”

Customer: “I know that, but aren’t they a type of insect or something?”

Me: “No, ma’am. They are a type of reptile.”

Customer: “Oh. Are they related to the ones that breathe fire?”

Misunderstood ‘Total Coverage’

| Detroit, MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Uncategorized

Me: “Our records show you’ve never had a prescription filled here before, so I’ll need an ID and your insurance.”

Customer: “Here’s my ID. I don’t have my insurance on me, but it’s through [car insurance company].”

Me: “Sir, I think that’s your car insurance. Do you have health insurance?”

Customer: “You mean there’s more than one kind?”

Not Exactly Gifted, Part 2

| Orange County, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Uncategorized

(A 12-year-old boy, comes up to the counter, holding a gift card.)

Customer: “How much is this?”

Me: “As much or as little as you want on it.”

Customer: “But what does it do?”

Me: “You give it to people as gifts. It has money on it.”

Customer: “How much?”

Me: “Like I said, as much or as little as you want.”

Customer: “Can I get $10?”

Me: “Sure.”

(I ring up the gift card.)

Me: “That’ll be $10.”

(He hands me $1.35.)

Me: “This isn’t enough. I need $10.”

Customer: “I only have that.”

Me: “Then you can’t get the gift card.”

Customer: “But, you said I could do any amount!”

Related:
Not Exactly Gifted

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