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May Theme Of The Month: Movie Mayhem!

Making A Hug(e) Difference

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Family & Kids, Top

(I’m having a very bad day, having dealt with a series of unpleasant customers. I have a half-hearted smile on my face, when a six year old boy walks in. He stares at me for a second, then gives me a hug.)

Me: “Thanks, but where is your mommy?”

Boy: “She’ll be here soon.”

Me: “She might not want you hugging random strangers.”

(He shakes his head.)

Boy: “Mommy says retail people need more hugs. You looked like you needed one.”

Buying Bread Costs You Dough

| Hull, UK | Uncategorized

Me: “I’m sorry, the bread isn’t scanning on to the till. I will just go and check the price on the shelf.”

Customer: “When I was a boy like you, I used to work everything out in my head. None of this till business.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I can’t seem to find where you got that particular type of bread from. May I ask where you took it from?”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. Is your manager here?”

Me: “She leaves me in the shop on Sundays. Did you get the bread from here?”

Customer: “No. I got it from the supermarket.”

Me: “So, you’ve already paid for it at another shop, sir?”

Customer: “I’m sorry. My brain isn’t what it used to be.”

Me: “That’s why I use a till, sir.”

About To Have A Power Struggle

| Seattle, WA, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, sir. You’ve reached [company]’s technical support.”

Customer: “Hello! My computer seems to be having some issues. I used your software just the other day and suddenly, ah…wait a minute.”

(There is a significant pause.)

Customer: “How do you make it go?”

Me: “The software? Well, you can look for the icon on your desktop, or you can use the search-”

Customer: “No, no! The box! The, the uh, computer!”

Me: “Uh…press the power button?”

(A considerable pause follows.)

Customer: “Liar.”

Taco Bill

| Tuscaloosa, AL, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Can I pay for my meal in guacamole?”

Me: “I–excuse me?”

Customer: “My wife makes a mean guacamole.”

They Should Read More

| Des Moines, IA, USA | Uncategorized

(I sell e-readers at a book store.)

Customer: “How much do books cost in this thin thing?”

Me: “Here’s a list of new releases on the e-reader. This book is $14.99.”

Customer: “Is that hardcover or paperback?”

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