Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • The True Appliance Of Science
    (1,685 thumbs up)
  • August Theme Of The Month: We Are Closed!
    Submit your story today!

    Sticky, Tricky and Picky

    | New Jersey, USA |

    (I was working in Customer Service, and a woman walked up with a Nintendo DS and her receipt. She had our protection plan purchased, so I sent her to one of the agents to take a look at it. The following conversation took place.)

    Agent: “Hello ma’am, how can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I need you to take a look at my son’s DS. It isn’t working anymore.”

    Agent: “Well, let’s see here.” *opens the DS and clears his throat* “Uh, ma’am? There’s jelly in here…”

    Customer: “Oh! I know! My son was playing his DS while eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and dropped it on the DS. Is it unfixable? Am I going to have to get a new one? Can I get a DSi instead?”

    Agent: “We can’t do anything for it, actually.”

    Customer: *starting to get angry* “Why not?”

    Agent: “This protection plan does not cover accidental damage.”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous! I am not paying for another DS! You’re doing something for me!”

    Agent: “I’m sorry, but I can’t. Like I said before, we don’t cover anything accidental.”

    Customer: “Then I did it on purpose! Will you fix it now?!”

    Agent: *sliding the DS back to the customer* “No…”

    Over The Gray, Bland Rainbow

    | Maryland, USA |

    Customer: “Something is wrong with this movie – the box said it was in color, but it’s black and white.”

    Me: “Haven’t you ever seen The Wizard of Oz before?”

    Customer: “No, but it says ‘color’ on the box.”

    Me: “The beginning is in black and white – it will turn to color.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s just stupid.”

    Serf and Turf

    | Carlsbad, NM, USA |

    Customer: “Where are all of your baked goods?!”

    Me: “We’re going to be closing here in about five minutes, and we usually don’t bring out any fresh baked goods at this time–”

    Customer: “Well, in Europe they bake all day long!”

    Me: “Well…we do things a bit differently in America. Would you perhaps like some of our half-priced baked goods?”

    Customer: “Eh, no…what’s this thing?” *pointing*

    Me: “A baguette.”

    Customer: “Yeah, I’ll have that.”

    Me: “OK…would you like me to cut that up for you and give you some butter?”

    Customer: “Nah, I’ll just bite chunks off of it.”

    Me: “…”

    Third Time’s A Charm For A Two-Faced One Track Mind

    , | Washington, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [phone company], how may I help you today?”

    Caller: “Um yeah, my phone stopped working. I need you guys to fix that for me.”

    Me: “Certainly, sir. May I ask what exactly is the problem?”

    Caller: “Well, the internet on my phone quit working a few days ago.”

    Me: “Okay, I can definitely help you out with that. I do need your mobile phone number please…”

    (The customer gives me his number, and I discover that his phone is not compatible with the internet plan on his account. Furthermore, he can not change it because the account is not in his name.)

    Me: “…okay, so you understand why we cannot change that, right?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I guess so. Thanks anyway, man.”

    Me: “Not a problem sir. Thank you very much for choosing [phone company]. You have a wonderful day, sir.”

    (This is where things get interesting. Instead of hanging up, I immediately hear the following…)

    Female voice: “Aw baby, what’s wrong?”

    Caller: “This f***ing douchebag wont fix my g**d*** phone! I’ve had this d***ed thing for three years, never had a problem with it, now this f*** wont help me out!”

    Me: “Excuse me, sir? You never actually hung up the phone. Might I suggest we do that now before anything else is said?”

    Caller: *brief pause* “… oh my God!I am so sorry! Oh my God sir, please don’t turn off my phone, PLEASE!”

    Me: “Not a problem. Just please remember to hang up the phone, okay?”

    (I wait for him to hang up a second time, but again, he doesn’t…)

    Caller: “I can’t believe that f***ing p***k stayed on the phone! What we he trying to do?! A**hole! I mean, can’t he freaking help a guy out?!”

    Female voice: *quietly* “I think you’re on speakerphone…”

    Me: “Excuse me, sir? You forgot to hang up again.”

    Caller: “S***! GIMME A BREAK!” *click*

    Destroying America, One Backwards Part At A Time

    | Columbus, OH, USA |

    (I’m working the returns desk, when a man comes in carrying a half assembled bookshelf and it’s box and slams it on my counter.)

    Me: “Hi sir, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’ve had it with this.”

    Me: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “I’ve spent six hours. SIX HOURS! I’m trying to get this together, my kids are crying because it doesn’t look cool. I’ve tried it every way, and I’m not incapable, but this is impossible!”

    Me: “Hmm, it looks like some of the pieces were manufactured wrong. This appears to be upside down and this one the holes aren’t on the right side.”

    Customer: “That’s not the problem. The problem is someone pissed off an employee in China and he’s taking it out on me!”

    Page 1,727/2,102First...1,7251,7261,7271,7281,729...Last